Men

Why are men like babies?

They make a fuss whn you try to change them.

Why are men like vending machines?

They'll take your money and half the time they won't work.

How are men like bread?

They're easier to take when you butter them up.

How can you be sure a man is planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What do men and floor tiles have in common?

If you lay them properly, you can walk over them forever.

Why are bachelors like used cars?

They're easy to find, cheap and unreliable.

"My boyfriend's a SNAG", said Jody. "A Sensitive New Age Guy."

"That's nice", replied Carol. "Mine's a Caring Understanding Nineties Type."

Why are all men like blenders?

You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Why is food better than men?

You don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

Why are men and parking spots similiar?

The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.

What do men and beer bottles have in common?

They're both empty from the neck up.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. Men will scew anything.

What do toilet seats, anniversaries and a clitoris have in common?

Men miss them all.

Why do men marry women who remind them of their mothers?

Who else would put up with them.