Your results indicate that your leadership style is predominately: Participative
Participative Leadership
Participative leaders accept input from one or more group members when making decisions and solving problems, but the leader retains the final say when choices are made. Group members tend to be encouraged and motivated by this style of leadership. This style of leadership often leads to more effective and accurate decisions, since no leader can be an expert in all areas. Input from group members with specialized knowledge and expertise creates a more complete basis for decision-making.
Remember, good leaders utilize all three styles depending upon the situation. For example:
Use an authoritative style if a group member lacks knowledge about a certain procedure.
Use a participative style with group members who understand the objectives and their role in the task.
Use a delegative style if the group member knows more than you do about the task. Great leaders need to adapt and change based upon the objectives, needs of group members, and situational factors. You can find more information in this article on leadership styles.
http://psychology.about.com/library/quiz/bl-leadershipquiz.htm
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Rubin's Scales of Liking and Loving
Rubin's Scales of Liking and Loving Measuring Romantic Attachment
By Kendra Cherry, About.com Guide
The nature of love has been explored by a number of theorists. According to social psychologist Zick Rubin, romantic love is made up of three elements:
By Kendra Cherry, About.com Guide
The nature of love has been explored by a number of theorists. According to social psychologist Zick Rubin, romantic love is made up of three elements:
- Attachment: The need to be cared for and be with the other person.
- Caring: Valuing the other persons happiness and needs as much as your own.
- Intimacy: Sharing private thoughts, feelings, and desires with the other person.
Based upon this view of romantic love, Rubin developed two questionnaires to measure these variables. Initially, Rubin identified approximately 80 questions designed to assess the attitudes a person holds about others. The questions were sorted according to whether or not they reflected feelings of liking or loving. These two sets of questions were first administered to 198 undergraduate students and a factor analysis was then conducted. The results allowed Rubin to identify 13 questions for 'liking' and 13 questions for 'loving' that were reliable measures of these two variables. The following examples are similar to some of the questions used in Rubin's Liking and Loving Scale:
Items Measuring Liking
- I feel that _____________ is a very stable person.
- I have confidence in ______________’s opinions.
Items Measuring Loving
- I feel strong feelings of possessiveness towards ____________.
- I like it when __________ confides in me.
- I would do almost anything for _____________.
Rubin's scales of liking and loving provided support for his theory of love. In a study to determine if the scales actually differentiated between liking and loving, Rubin asked a number of participants to fill out his questionnaires based upon how they felt both about their partner and a good friend. The results revealed that good friends scored high on the liking scale, but only significant others rated high on the scales for loving. Love is not a concrete concept and is therefore difficult to measure. Rubin's scales of liking and loving offer a way to measure the complex feeling of love.
References:Rubin, Zick. 1970. "Measurement of Romantic Love," Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Volume 16, pages 265-273.
Quoted: http://psychology.about.com/od/loveandattraction/a/likingloving.htm
Theories of Love
Theories of Love By Kendra Cherry, About.com Guide
Psychologists and researchers have proposed a number of different theories of love. The following are four of the major theories proposed to explain liking, love, and emotional attachment.
Liking vs. Loving
Psychologist Zick Rubin proposed that romantic love is made up of three elements: attachment, caring, and intimacy. Attachment is the need to receive care, approval, and physical contact with the other person. Caring involves valuing the other persons needs and happiness as much as your own. Intimacy refers to the sharing of thoughts, desires, and feelings with the other person.
Based upon this definition, Rubin devised a questionnaire to assess attitudes about others and found that these scales of liking and loving provided support for his conception of love.
Learn more about Rubin’s Scales of Liking and Loving.
Compassionate vs. Passionate Love
According to psychologist Elaine Hatfield and her colleagues, there are two basic types of love: compassionate love and passionate love. Compassionate love is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection, and trust. Compassionate love usually develops out of feelings of mutual understanding and shared respect for each other.
Passionate love is characterized by intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety, and affection. When these intense emotions are reciprocated, people feel elated and fulfilled. Unreciprocated love leads to feelings of despondence and despair. Hatfield suggests that passionate love is transitory, usually lasting between 6 and 30 months.
According to Hatfield, passionate love arises when cultural expectations encourage falling in love, when the person meets your preconceived ideas of an ideal lover, and when you experience heightened physiological arousal in the presence of the other person.
Ideally passionate love then leads to compassionate love, which is far more enduring. While most people desire relationships that combine the security and stability of compassionate with the intensity of passionate love, Hatfield suggests that this is rare.
The Color Wheel Model of Love
In his 1973 book The Colors of Love, John Lee compared styles of love to the color wheel. Just as there are three primary colors, Lee suggested that there are three primary styles of love. These three styles of love are: (1) Eros, (2) Ludos, and (3) Storge. Continuing the color wheel analogy, Lee proposed that just as the primary colors can be combined to create complementary colors, these three primary styles of love could be combined to create nine different secondary love styles. For example, a combination of Eros and Ludos results in Mania, or obsessive love.
Lee’s 6 Styles of Loving
Three primary styles:1. Eros – Loving an ideal person
2. Ludos – Love as a game
3. Storge – Love as friendship
Three secondary styles:
1. Mania (Eros + Ludos) – Obsessive love
2. Pragma (Ludos + Storge) – Realistic and practical love
3. Agape (Eros + Storge) – Selfless love
Triangular Theory of Love
Psychologist Robert Sternberg proposed a triangular theory of love that suggests that there are three components of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Different combinations of these three components result in different types of love. For example, a combination of intimacy and commitment results in compassionate love, while a combination of passion and intimacy leads to passionate love.
According to Sternberg, relationships built on two or more elements are more enduring that those based upon a single component. Sternberg uses the term consummate love to describe a combination of intimacy, passion, and commitment. While this type of love is the strongest and most enduring, Sternberg suggests that this type of love is rare.
Quoted: http://psychology.about.com/od/loveandattraction/a/theoriesoflove.htm
Psychologists and researchers have proposed a number of different theories of love. The following are four of the major theories proposed to explain liking, love, and emotional attachment.
Liking vs. Loving
Psychologist Zick Rubin proposed that romantic love is made up of three elements: attachment, caring, and intimacy. Attachment is the need to receive care, approval, and physical contact with the other person. Caring involves valuing the other persons needs and happiness as much as your own. Intimacy refers to the sharing of thoughts, desires, and feelings with the other person.
Based upon this definition, Rubin devised a questionnaire to assess attitudes about others and found that these scales of liking and loving provided support for his conception of love.
Learn more about Rubin’s Scales of Liking and Loving.
Compassionate vs. Passionate Love
According to psychologist Elaine Hatfield and her colleagues, there are two basic types of love: compassionate love and passionate love. Compassionate love is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection, and trust. Compassionate love usually develops out of feelings of mutual understanding and shared respect for each other.
Passionate love is characterized by intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety, and affection. When these intense emotions are reciprocated, people feel elated and fulfilled. Unreciprocated love leads to feelings of despondence and despair. Hatfield suggests that passionate love is transitory, usually lasting between 6 and 30 months.
According to Hatfield, passionate love arises when cultural expectations encourage falling in love, when the person meets your preconceived ideas of an ideal lover, and when you experience heightened physiological arousal in the presence of the other person.
Ideally passionate love then leads to compassionate love, which is far more enduring. While most people desire relationships that combine the security and stability of compassionate with the intensity of passionate love, Hatfield suggests that this is rare.
The Color Wheel Model of Love
In his 1973 book The Colors of Love, John Lee compared styles of love to the color wheel. Just as there are three primary colors, Lee suggested that there are three primary styles of love. These three styles of love are: (1) Eros, (2) Ludos, and (3) Storge. Continuing the color wheel analogy, Lee proposed that just as the primary colors can be combined to create complementary colors, these three primary styles of love could be combined to create nine different secondary love styles. For example, a combination of Eros and Ludos results in Mania, or obsessive love.
Lee’s 6 Styles of Loving
Three primary styles:1. Eros – Loving an ideal person
2. Ludos – Love as a game
3. Storge – Love as friendship
Three secondary styles:
1. Mania (Eros + Ludos) – Obsessive love
2. Pragma (Ludos + Storge) – Realistic and practical love
3. Agape (Eros + Storge) – Selfless love
Triangular Theory of Love
Psychologist Robert Sternberg proposed a triangular theory of love that suggests that there are three components of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Different combinations of these three components result in different types of love. For example, a combination of intimacy and commitment results in compassionate love, while a combination of passion and intimacy leads to passionate love.
According to Sternberg, relationships built on two or more elements are more enduring that those based upon a single component. Sternberg uses the term consummate love to describe a combination of intimacy, passion, and commitment. While this type of love is the strongest and most enduring, Sternberg suggests that this type of love is rare.
Quoted: http://psychology.about.com/od/loveandattraction/a/theoriesoflove.htm
A World Of Energising Colour
A World Of Energising Colour
By: Rebecca Barrett
Colours vibrate and each shade gives off a different energy to the next, thus altering the aspects around us and the feelings and emotions we have within. To learn about the positive (yang) and negative (yin) aspects of each colour in the spectrum and how it affects us, read on:
RED
When red is a positive force in our lives it is the colour of strength and vitality, as well as warmth. It is the most auspicious colour for the Chinese, meaning wealth and prosperity. It is at the lower end of the spectrum. Red is the ground, the earth and our basic emotions and deals with survival issues. Red is action. Red represents blood and is therefore the symbol of the physical life. It is masculine energy, our sexuality and the day-to-day energy of living. Red is the antithesis of blue: it represents the material side of life such as money and property. Red is also the positive side of passion.When our basic emotions get out of control we want to vent our anger, feel frustrated or act resentfully and stubbornly. These are negative emotions that affect our peace and harmony. Passion in a negative aspect could mean that we are driven to have our own needs fulfilled without regard of others. Wearing red can also show, impulsiveness and an overactive ego.
PINK
Pink is red and white mixed together and gives a gentler aspect to the red. It reprsents compassion and love, understanding and caring. Pink is feminine intuitive energy. The paler the shade, the more unconditional the love. Pink shows a imaginative and arty person.An over abundance of pink shows a need for love and a strong relationship. It creates an unbalanced view that is manifested as smother love. In such a case pink shows an immaturity in dealing with love and can lead to a childish concern with self.
ORANGE
When orange is a positive force in our lives it gives us inspiration, deep insight, awareness and bliss, energized wisdom and aspiration. It is the energy of the sun and shows enthusiasm for life. It also indicates trustworthiness.Orange is attributed to ordeal and shock, be it past of present, emotional or physical.Orange in its negative state is associated with deep fear. Orange relates to our gut reactions, so fear can be experienced in the abdomen and we can feel like we are tied up in knots. This fear shows we are stuck in the past and have difficulty in letting go.
GOLD
Gold has long been seen as the colour of knowledge and of deeper inner wisdom. The haloes of saints in religious paintings are gold. Gold is deep elation, deep happiness and rapture. It is the colour of a deep healing energy.The negative side of gold is deep anxiety and fear. Choosing too much gold indicates frustration, chaos, a lack of wisdom and sometimes difficulties in understanding.
YELLOW
Gold is to wisdom what yellow is to knowledge. Knowledge is what we acquire and wisdom is what we know within. Yellow is also the colour of sunshine, joy and happiness. It is the colour of the intellect and of thinking clearly. Yellow indicates a want for knowing, to better oneself and how to be self sufficient.The negative side of yellow is anxiety, jealousy, skepticism, obstinacy, nervousness, lack of assimilation and terror. The fear represented by yellow is due to a present situation; it affects the nervous sytem. If not dealt with at this stage, it will be transformed into the fear that is repreesented by orange. A need for yellow may indicate a lack of clarity and problems in education.
GREEN
Green is the colour of harmony and balance. It is the mid-point of the spectrum. Green represents the emotions, the heart centre, communicated feelings and awareness. Green helps us to make decisions; it helps us to see all aspects clearly. Green is associated with nature. when there is a need for peace and tranquility, the message of green could be summed up as 'go hug a tree' to be close to nature.If a person is attracted to green in excess, it indicates that he or she has problems in decision making and is not sure where they're heading. The person needs to make space for themselves. Green as indicating a negative emotion is envy, jealousy, resentment, deceit and treachery. The person also has difficulties in communicating feelings and emotions.
TURQUOISE
Turquoise represents reative communication from the heart. It indicates artistic abilities. It is the colour associated with the New Age. Aura-Soma sees it as the colour of mass communication and therefore of media communication, computers and silicon chips.Turquoise helps in reaching many people simultaneously; it helps in public speaking and in coaching.As turquoise deals with expression, its negative side is difficulty in expression and in communicating feelings. It indicates artistic blocks, difficulties in speaking one's truth, dependency on others, misuse of power and the need to find peace in the heart.
BLUE
Blue represents harmony, as well as a strong need for peace. Blue indicates maternal nurturing and shows an logical, rational and clear mind. It is associated with service, healing (registered nurses usually wear a blue uniform) and creativity. Blue is diffirent from turquoise in that it indicates one-to-one communication. The negative side of blue is problems in communication, especially with talking. Too much blue indicates a lack of peace (the blues) and a depressive state. it shows also separation, isolation, discontent and a need for serenity.When things are not going the way we want, we tend to select a lot of blue. Blue also indicates difficulties with authority figures or difficulties with males or the male aspects within ourselves.
INDIGO, ROYAL BLUE
The colour can indicate a high degree of holiness, integrity and deep genuineness. Healing and ESP qualities such as clairvoyance, clairaudience and telepathy are also associated with this colour. It can indicate someone who finds peace through meditation and has deep concentration.As indigo and royal blue are reepresentative of our mental aspects, in their negative form they represent deep depression, extreme introversion, difficulties in expression and an extreme form of despondency. Choosing too much royal blue can indicate isolation, separation, detachment or self-deception.
VIOLET
Violet brings together red and blue - the opposite ends of the spectrum. Violet represents service in healing as well as transformation. The spirituality of blue and the vitality of red are now combined.The negative side of that represented by violet is similar to that of royal blue; it indicates depression, aloofness and grief. A person who chooses too much violet reveals a need for curing as well as detachment or fear of death.
CORAL
Coral is a mixing of pink and gold together. Therefore it indicates the awakening and wisdom of love, of unconditional love. Red is love in its basic form, pink is unconditional love and coral is deep love.The negative side of that represented by coral, like pink, has to do with love. Where pink indicates immature love, coral shows unrequited love - love that has not been returned in the way it was given. it is also the fear of loving, or the torment of love.
MAGENTA
With magenta, we discover a new dimension for love. It represents love merged into service; love from the Divine, love that now has conscious awareness. We are now conscious of our caring, the love and enjoyment found in the trivial things and the jobs we do in our everyday life.The negative side of that represented by magenta is an acute need for caring or being very possessive. It indicates excess and obsession - over attachment to the minute things in life and compulsion such as an obsessive need for cleanliness.
CLEAR (WHITE)
Clear indicates all the colours together or no colour at all. It represents the positive as well as the negative aspects of all colours. Any colour combined with white will be enlarged.The negative side of clear indicates that the colours have been washed from life through unshed tears.
BLACK
Black activates and strengthens women energies. It can ground and calm extremely sensitivie people. It is best used in combination with white. Black indicates the need for shelter from the negative that can surround us.Too much black indicates hatred, disharmony and evil thoughts. When people are attracted to wearing a lot of black all the time they can be depressed and have mood swings; they need some colour in their lives.
Read more: http://www.articlesnatch.com/Article/A-World-Of-Energising-Colour/774306#ixzz1AG3DMJt8
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution No Derivatives
By: Rebecca Barrett
Colours vibrate and each shade gives off a different energy to the next, thus altering the aspects around us and the feelings and emotions we have within. To learn about the positive (yang) and negative (yin) aspects of each colour in the spectrum and how it affects us, read on:
RED
When red is a positive force in our lives it is the colour of strength and vitality, as well as warmth. It is the most auspicious colour for the Chinese, meaning wealth and prosperity. It is at the lower end of the spectrum. Red is the ground, the earth and our basic emotions and deals with survival issues. Red is action. Red represents blood and is therefore the symbol of the physical life. It is masculine energy, our sexuality and the day-to-day energy of living. Red is the antithesis of blue: it represents the material side of life such as money and property. Red is also the positive side of passion.When our basic emotions get out of control we want to vent our anger, feel frustrated or act resentfully and stubbornly. These are negative emotions that affect our peace and harmony. Passion in a negative aspect could mean that we are driven to have our own needs fulfilled without regard of others. Wearing red can also show, impulsiveness and an overactive ego.
PINK
Pink is red and white mixed together and gives a gentler aspect to the red. It reprsents compassion and love, understanding and caring. Pink is feminine intuitive energy. The paler the shade, the more unconditional the love. Pink shows a imaginative and arty person.An over abundance of pink shows a need for love and a strong relationship. It creates an unbalanced view that is manifested as smother love. In such a case pink shows an immaturity in dealing with love and can lead to a childish concern with self.
ORANGE
When orange is a positive force in our lives it gives us inspiration, deep insight, awareness and bliss, energized wisdom and aspiration. It is the energy of the sun and shows enthusiasm for life. It also indicates trustworthiness.Orange is attributed to ordeal and shock, be it past of present, emotional or physical.Orange in its negative state is associated with deep fear. Orange relates to our gut reactions, so fear can be experienced in the abdomen and we can feel like we are tied up in knots. This fear shows we are stuck in the past and have difficulty in letting go.
GOLD
Gold has long been seen as the colour of knowledge and of deeper inner wisdom. The haloes of saints in religious paintings are gold. Gold is deep elation, deep happiness and rapture. It is the colour of a deep healing energy.The negative side of gold is deep anxiety and fear. Choosing too much gold indicates frustration, chaos, a lack of wisdom and sometimes difficulties in understanding.
YELLOW
Gold is to wisdom what yellow is to knowledge. Knowledge is what we acquire and wisdom is what we know within. Yellow is also the colour of sunshine, joy and happiness. It is the colour of the intellect and of thinking clearly. Yellow indicates a want for knowing, to better oneself and how to be self sufficient.The negative side of yellow is anxiety, jealousy, skepticism, obstinacy, nervousness, lack of assimilation and terror. The fear represented by yellow is due to a present situation; it affects the nervous sytem. If not dealt with at this stage, it will be transformed into the fear that is repreesented by orange. A need for yellow may indicate a lack of clarity and problems in education.
GREEN
Green is the colour of harmony and balance. It is the mid-point of the spectrum. Green represents the emotions, the heart centre, communicated feelings and awareness. Green helps us to make decisions; it helps us to see all aspects clearly. Green is associated with nature. when there is a need for peace and tranquility, the message of green could be summed up as 'go hug a tree' to be close to nature.If a person is attracted to green in excess, it indicates that he or she has problems in decision making and is not sure where they're heading. The person needs to make space for themselves. Green as indicating a negative emotion is envy, jealousy, resentment, deceit and treachery. The person also has difficulties in communicating feelings and emotions.
TURQUOISE
Turquoise represents reative communication from the heart. It indicates artistic abilities. It is the colour associated with the New Age. Aura-Soma sees it as the colour of mass communication and therefore of media communication, computers and silicon chips.Turquoise helps in reaching many people simultaneously; it helps in public speaking and in coaching.As turquoise deals with expression, its negative side is difficulty in expression and in communicating feelings. It indicates artistic blocks, difficulties in speaking one's truth, dependency on others, misuse of power and the need to find peace in the heart.
BLUE
Blue represents harmony, as well as a strong need for peace. Blue indicates maternal nurturing and shows an logical, rational and clear mind. It is associated with service, healing (registered nurses usually wear a blue uniform) and creativity. Blue is diffirent from turquoise in that it indicates one-to-one communication. The negative side of blue is problems in communication, especially with talking. Too much blue indicates a lack of peace (the blues) and a depressive state. it shows also separation, isolation, discontent and a need for serenity.When things are not going the way we want, we tend to select a lot of blue. Blue also indicates difficulties with authority figures or difficulties with males or the male aspects within ourselves.
INDIGO, ROYAL BLUE
The colour can indicate a high degree of holiness, integrity and deep genuineness. Healing and ESP qualities such as clairvoyance, clairaudience and telepathy are also associated with this colour. It can indicate someone who finds peace through meditation and has deep concentration.As indigo and royal blue are reepresentative of our mental aspects, in their negative form they represent deep depression, extreme introversion, difficulties in expression and an extreme form of despondency. Choosing too much royal blue can indicate isolation, separation, detachment or self-deception.
VIOLET
Violet brings together red and blue - the opposite ends of the spectrum. Violet represents service in healing as well as transformation. The spirituality of blue and the vitality of red are now combined.The negative side of that represented by violet is similar to that of royal blue; it indicates depression, aloofness and grief. A person who chooses too much violet reveals a need for curing as well as detachment or fear of death.
CORAL
Coral is a mixing of pink and gold together. Therefore it indicates the awakening and wisdom of love, of unconditional love. Red is love in its basic form, pink is unconditional love and coral is deep love.The negative side of that represented by coral, like pink, has to do with love. Where pink indicates immature love, coral shows unrequited love - love that has not been returned in the way it was given. it is also the fear of loving, or the torment of love.
MAGENTA
With magenta, we discover a new dimension for love. It represents love merged into service; love from the Divine, love that now has conscious awareness. We are now conscious of our caring, the love and enjoyment found in the trivial things and the jobs we do in our everyday life.The negative side of that represented by magenta is an acute need for caring or being very possessive. It indicates excess and obsession - over attachment to the minute things in life and compulsion such as an obsessive need for cleanliness.
CLEAR (WHITE)
Clear indicates all the colours together or no colour at all. It represents the positive as well as the negative aspects of all colours. Any colour combined with white will be enlarged.The negative side of clear indicates that the colours have been washed from life through unshed tears.
BLACK
Black activates and strengthens women energies. It can ground and calm extremely sensitivie people. It is best used in combination with white. Black indicates the need for shelter from the negative that can surround us.Too much black indicates hatred, disharmony and evil thoughts. When people are attracted to wearing a lot of black all the time they can be depressed and have mood swings; they need some colour in their lives.
Read more: http://www.articlesnatch.com/Article/A-World-Of-Energising-Colour/774306#ixzz1AG3DMJt8
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution No Derivatives
David T and his 5 tips on how to attract beautiful women
David T and his 5 tips on how to attract beautiful women
5. Be the Social Guy
In all my years of helping hundreds of Singaporean men achieve their dating goals, the number one problem Singaporean men repeatedly faced on their road to success was… Social Anxiety.
A skyrocketing heart rate, sudden shortness of breath, hands and knees shaking as if an earthquake just hit, and an educate and talkative Singaporean man suddenly goes completely blank.
All this from just attempting to approach an attractive woman for a simple conversation.
But the paralyzing fear of public humiliation is all that is in the mind of our poor guy. Being so self-conscious and caring so much about what complete strangers think is the number one problem plaguing Singaporean men when it comes to dating.
So what to do?
Be the Social Guy, not the Social Retard.
Here’s how to do it the pain-free way:
Get in the habit of talking to new people all the time.
Make small talk with the cabdriver. Joke around with the receptionist at your office or the clerk at the 7-11. Commiserate over the weather with strangers waiting at the bus stop. Compliment fashionably dressed strangers or service staff in the stores you frequent. Give a stranger a dollar just because they look friendly and you want to brighten someone’s day a little. Learn the joy of making strangers laugh and putting a smile on the faces of people you’ve just met.
Become a social guy who likes meeting new and interesting people. Do it all the time. Make friends of people of all ages, races, and walks of life.
Work this into your daily routine: Start a one-minute chat with at least three new people every day for the next three months.
Every man who is successful with women is also very comfortable socializing with people in general. Once you get good at socializing as a whole, it will be a lot easier to approach and chat with women you’re attracted to naturally and effortlessly without feeling anxious or nervous.
4. Be Interesting and Interested
Quit sitting at home alone playing Starcraft 2. Having nothing interesting going on in life is one of the biggest factors holding people back from making new friends. Even when you do get into a conversation with a girl, you’ve got nothing to say and nothing to connect on.
Get some new hobbies. Do things you’ve been meaning to do for a long time but have never gotten around to doing. Travel to new countries. Learn how to play guitar. Take up a new sport. Get a fitness trainer or join a martial arts club. Pick up a new language. Learn how to cook delicious meals. Become interesting and interested.
Explore your passions. Live life to the fullest now. This one thing alone will make you exponentially more attractive to women.
3. Make Her Work for It.
People only value what they invest time and effort into. This is as true of beautiful women as it is of anything in life. If you’re bending over backwards for her, asking her out at every opportunity, and doing anything she wants, then she simply won’t respect you or value you. And any attraction you’ve built up will be gone.
So make her put in time and effort into starting and maintaining your relationship. If you’re like most guys, you do the opposite of this, so it might be a little unnatural for you at first.
You can start small.
In your conversations, get her to open up and talk as much as (if not more than) you do. Aim for a 50-50 balance. Don’t dominate the conversation, trying to impress her. Instead, get her working to impress you. The same applies to SMS or phone contact. Make sure she texts and phones you as much as (if not more than) you text and phone her.
Ask her to meet you on your side of town for the date while making sure she gets home safely at the end of the night. Let her treat you to coffee while you get the dessert.
Be a bit more elusive and unpredictable, which will keep her guessing and thinking about you. Get her to put in more time and effort into the interaction and relationship. The more she works for it, the more she will want it.
2. Don’t Be Desperate
Few things will turn off a woman of quality more than a man who reeks of desperation. The fastest way to scare off a beautiful woman is to go immediately into serious relationship mode and ask her to be your girlfriend after your first date, or to call her ten times a day, or to get too possessive and clingy.
Instead, chill out. Relax. Sit back, literally. Take it easy. Keep everything light, casual, and enjoyable.
As you start to get a busier dating life, and you begin to internalize the notion that the world has an abundance of potential partners for you, it will become easier and easier for you to have the right mindset and attitude. In the meantime, instead of acting desperate, act as if you have a wealth of dating options.
1. Go for It
Guys who have no courage turn off hot women. What women everywhere want is a confident man who goes after what he wants.
As soon as you see that the beautiful girl has noticed you, be brave and approach her immediately. Once you’ve established rapport and made an emotional connection, exchange contact info to keep in touch. Or better yet, arrange a date with her. When you’re wondering whether she’d like to kiss you, look her deeply and directly in her eyes, and make your move.
Don’t leave her hanging and disappointed that she’s not with a real man. Step up and go for it.
Dr. David Tian, also known in Singapore and Asia as Doctor Date, is a dating expert, university professor, and author. For more great tips on attracting beautiful women in Singapore and the rest of the world, subscribe to his free Dating Tips newsletter at http://www.asianrake.com
Quoted from http://blogs.blogtv.sg/starbloggers/2010/08/20/david-t-and-his-5-tips-on-how-to-attract-beautiful-women/
Go visit him. Great tips for Singaporean....I think applicable to others in ways too.
5. Be the Social Guy
In all my years of helping hundreds of Singaporean men achieve their dating goals, the number one problem Singaporean men repeatedly faced on their road to success was… Social Anxiety.
A skyrocketing heart rate, sudden shortness of breath, hands and knees shaking as if an earthquake just hit, and an educate and talkative Singaporean man suddenly goes completely blank.
All this from just attempting to approach an attractive woman for a simple conversation.
But the paralyzing fear of public humiliation is all that is in the mind of our poor guy. Being so self-conscious and caring so much about what complete strangers think is the number one problem plaguing Singaporean men when it comes to dating.
So what to do?
Be the Social Guy, not the Social Retard.
Here’s how to do it the pain-free way:
Get in the habit of talking to new people all the time.
Make small talk with the cabdriver. Joke around with the receptionist at your office or the clerk at the 7-11. Commiserate over the weather with strangers waiting at the bus stop. Compliment fashionably dressed strangers or service staff in the stores you frequent. Give a stranger a dollar just because they look friendly and you want to brighten someone’s day a little. Learn the joy of making strangers laugh and putting a smile on the faces of people you’ve just met.
Become a social guy who likes meeting new and interesting people. Do it all the time. Make friends of people of all ages, races, and walks of life.
Work this into your daily routine: Start a one-minute chat with at least three new people every day for the next three months.
Every man who is successful with women is also very comfortable socializing with people in general. Once you get good at socializing as a whole, it will be a lot easier to approach and chat with women you’re attracted to naturally and effortlessly without feeling anxious or nervous.
4. Be Interesting and Interested
Quit sitting at home alone playing Starcraft 2. Having nothing interesting going on in life is one of the biggest factors holding people back from making new friends. Even when you do get into a conversation with a girl, you’ve got nothing to say and nothing to connect on.
Get some new hobbies. Do things you’ve been meaning to do for a long time but have never gotten around to doing. Travel to new countries. Learn how to play guitar. Take up a new sport. Get a fitness trainer or join a martial arts club. Pick up a new language. Learn how to cook delicious meals. Become interesting and interested.
Explore your passions. Live life to the fullest now. This one thing alone will make you exponentially more attractive to women.
3. Make Her Work for It.
People only value what they invest time and effort into. This is as true of beautiful women as it is of anything in life. If you’re bending over backwards for her, asking her out at every opportunity, and doing anything she wants, then she simply won’t respect you or value you. And any attraction you’ve built up will be gone.
So make her put in time and effort into starting and maintaining your relationship. If you’re like most guys, you do the opposite of this, so it might be a little unnatural for you at first.
You can start small.
In your conversations, get her to open up and talk as much as (if not more than) you do. Aim for a 50-50 balance. Don’t dominate the conversation, trying to impress her. Instead, get her working to impress you. The same applies to SMS or phone contact. Make sure she texts and phones you as much as (if not more than) you text and phone her.
Ask her to meet you on your side of town for the date while making sure she gets home safely at the end of the night. Let her treat you to coffee while you get the dessert.
Be a bit more elusive and unpredictable, which will keep her guessing and thinking about you. Get her to put in more time and effort into the interaction and relationship. The more she works for it, the more she will want it.
2. Don’t Be Desperate
Few things will turn off a woman of quality more than a man who reeks of desperation. The fastest way to scare off a beautiful woman is to go immediately into serious relationship mode and ask her to be your girlfriend after your first date, or to call her ten times a day, or to get too possessive and clingy.
Instead, chill out. Relax. Sit back, literally. Take it easy. Keep everything light, casual, and enjoyable.
As you start to get a busier dating life, and you begin to internalize the notion that the world has an abundance of potential partners for you, it will become easier and easier for you to have the right mindset and attitude. In the meantime, instead of acting desperate, act as if you have a wealth of dating options.
1. Go for It
Guys who have no courage turn off hot women. What women everywhere want is a confident man who goes after what he wants.
As soon as you see that the beautiful girl has noticed you, be brave and approach her immediately. Once you’ve established rapport and made an emotional connection, exchange contact info to keep in touch. Or better yet, arrange a date with her. When you’re wondering whether she’d like to kiss you, look her deeply and directly in her eyes, and make your move.
Don’t leave her hanging and disappointed that she’s not with a real man. Step up and go for it.
Dr. David Tian, also known in Singapore and Asia as Doctor Date, is a dating expert, university professor, and author. For more great tips on attracting beautiful women in Singapore and the rest of the world, subscribe to his free Dating Tips newsletter at http://www.asianrake.com
Quoted from http://blogs.blogtv.sg/starbloggers/2010/08/20/david-t-and-his-5-tips-on-how-to-attract-beautiful-women/
Go visit him. Great tips for Singaporean....I think applicable to others in ways too.
Erase 10 years from head to toe
Erase 10 years from head to toe by Health.com, on Mon Dec 20, 2010 8:09am PST
By Jennifer GoldsteinIf you want to look younger than you are, it helps to consider the total package. Because women who look forever 31 don’t just have great complexions, they also have, "thick hair, smooth hands … even a whiter smile," says New York City dermatologist Marsha Gordon, MD.So, how do you become one of those lucky types who goes to her class reunion and elicits comments like, "Wow, she hasn’t aged a bit!"? Follow these age-proofing tips that start with your head (well, your hair) and end with your toes (even they can date you, believe it or not).
Give your hair a boost
Hair naturally thins as you get older, so anything you can do to counteract that process will help you stay gorgeous. Volumizing shampoos are great, but the most effective (and quickest) youth boost comes courtesy of a volumizing spray gel. "These sprays are like a collagen injection for your hair," says Jet Rhys, owner of Jet Rhys Salon in San Diego. The key, Rhys notes, is not to spray it all over your crown but to get it onto the underside of your hair, near the roots.Health.com: How to brighten up your blah hair color
Get younger-acting skin
The old way of thinking about your face was that if you could just get rid of a few wrinkles, you’d take years off your looks. While that may be true, it’s not just wrinkles that make you look older, according to a study in Evolution and Human Behavior; skin tone and luminosity also affect your perceived age. Luckily, the newest anti-aging products have been formulated to take all the signs of aging into account, tricking your skin into acting like it did back in your 20s. With adenosine, a collagen-stimulating molecule found naturally in your skin’s DNA, and biolysat, which stimulates your skin’s own repair process, they're able to not only reduce wrinkles but improve texture, tone, and radiance, as well.
Health.com: 7 ways you're aging your skin
Use a redness-reducing concealer
"You may not realize it, but redness and visible blood vessels on your cheeks and nose are another sign of sun damage, and they do make you look older," Dr. Gordon says. The best way to get rid of the red is with a laser treatment, which can cost up to $500 or more at the dermatologist’s office. If you’re not ready to spend that kind of cash, a yellow-based concealer, can do wonders. Dot the concealer over any red areas—pay special attention to the notoriously rosy crevices near your nostrils—tap it into skin with your ring finger, then smooth on your favorite tinted moisturizer or a foundation that matches your skin tone.Brighten your smile"Stains accumulate on your teeth as you age, so whiter teeth make you look younger," says Lana Rozenberg, DDS, a dentist in New York City. In-office light-activated whitening treatments can take you up to eight shades whiter (at a cost of up to $1,000), but you can now get similar results at home. Some come with a handheld light that activates the included whitening gel; three back-to-back 10-minute sessions with the light will brighten your teeth up to five shades. Caution: Because these new whitening systems are more effective than ever, it’s easy to go overboard—which can look fake. “Just make sure your teeth aren’t whiter than the whites of your eyes,” Dr. Rozenberg says.
Health.com: 20 things that can ruin your smile
Spritz a zesty scent
Weird but true: People may think you look up to five years younger if you’re sporting a grapefruit scent, according to a study at the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation. Make that little bit of science work in your favor by picking a spray balanced by vetiver and rosemary, so it comes off bright and fresh, not grapefruit-juice acidic.De-freckle your chestTina Fey’s Saturday Night Live skit about a chest-freckle concealer called "Checkles" may have been a joke, but the aging effect of decolletage spots is for real. "The number-one cause is, once again, the sun," Dr. Gordon says. Wear sunscreen to prevent the development of more blemishes, and switch up your regular body lotion for one that includes spot-reducing ingredients.
Baby your hands
Dry skin makes fine lines and ropy-looking veins more visible, so something as simple as applying an antioxidant-rich moisturizer can make hands feel softer and look fresher. "I tell my patients to apply moisturizer and always wear gloves in the winter," Dr. Gordon explains. "It's not just the sun that causes damage—cold winds suck the moisture right out of your hands, which can make them look older, if only temporarily."
Don’t yo-yo diet
You don't necessarily need to drop pounds to shave a few years off your looks. (In fact, a study in the Journal of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery suggests that after age 40, a lower BMI can actually make some women look older.) Rather, it's important to do your best to get to a healthy weight and stick to it through the years. "Rapid weight gain or loss can cause visible changes in the skin, such as stretch marks and laxity," says Jennifer Linder, MD, a dermatologist in Scottsdale, Arizona. Healthy living is nature’s beauty treatment: "If you drink plenty of water and consistently eat a healthy diet, your skin will look better."
Health.com: 15 big benefits of water
Make over your legs
Varicose and spider veins are an instant ager, and the most effective way to remove them is with sclerotherapy, Dr. Linder says. "The procedure involves injecting a therapeutic solution into the veins, which causes them to collapse," she explains of the in-office treatment, which can cost anywhere from $150 to $1,000, depending on the number, size, and location of the veins. For a quicker fix—which will also hide spots and scars you’ve accumulated over the years—try a leg-perfecting lotion or spray.Fix up your feetAge makes you wiser, more confident, more successful—but it doesn’t do much for your feet. "The constant pressure feet endure can lead to dry, callused skin," Dr. Linder explains. Nothing gets soles smoother than a foot file. Use it at the end of your shower, then follow up with a rich cream that contains at least 10 percent lactic acid. (If your rough feet are accompanied by yellowed nails, get those toes to a doctor; you could have a fungal infection.) Final tip: Pick a bright, fun toenail polish like hot pink instead of a staid shade like mauve.
By Jennifer GoldsteinIf you want to look younger than you are, it helps to consider the total package. Because women who look forever 31 don’t just have great complexions, they also have, "thick hair, smooth hands … even a whiter smile," says New York City dermatologist Marsha Gordon, MD.So, how do you become one of those lucky types who goes to her class reunion and elicits comments like, "Wow, she hasn’t aged a bit!"? Follow these age-proofing tips that start with your head (well, your hair) and end with your toes (even they can date you, believe it or not).
Give your hair a boost
Hair naturally thins as you get older, so anything you can do to counteract that process will help you stay gorgeous. Volumizing shampoos are great, but the most effective (and quickest) youth boost comes courtesy of a volumizing spray gel. "These sprays are like a collagen injection for your hair," says Jet Rhys, owner of Jet Rhys Salon in San Diego. The key, Rhys notes, is not to spray it all over your crown but to get it onto the underside of your hair, near the roots.Health.com: How to brighten up your blah hair color
Get younger-acting skin
The old way of thinking about your face was that if you could just get rid of a few wrinkles, you’d take years off your looks. While that may be true, it’s not just wrinkles that make you look older, according to a study in Evolution and Human Behavior; skin tone and luminosity also affect your perceived age. Luckily, the newest anti-aging products have been formulated to take all the signs of aging into account, tricking your skin into acting like it did back in your 20s. With adenosine, a collagen-stimulating molecule found naturally in your skin’s DNA, and biolysat, which stimulates your skin’s own repair process, they're able to not only reduce wrinkles but improve texture, tone, and radiance, as well.
Health.com: 7 ways you're aging your skin
Use a redness-reducing concealer
"You may not realize it, but redness and visible blood vessels on your cheeks and nose are another sign of sun damage, and they do make you look older," Dr. Gordon says. The best way to get rid of the red is with a laser treatment, which can cost up to $500 or more at the dermatologist’s office. If you’re not ready to spend that kind of cash, a yellow-based concealer, can do wonders. Dot the concealer over any red areas—pay special attention to the notoriously rosy crevices near your nostrils—tap it into skin with your ring finger, then smooth on your favorite tinted moisturizer or a foundation that matches your skin tone.Brighten your smile"Stains accumulate on your teeth as you age, so whiter teeth make you look younger," says Lana Rozenberg, DDS, a dentist in New York City. In-office light-activated whitening treatments can take you up to eight shades whiter (at a cost of up to $1,000), but you can now get similar results at home. Some come with a handheld light that activates the included whitening gel; three back-to-back 10-minute sessions with the light will brighten your teeth up to five shades. Caution: Because these new whitening systems are more effective than ever, it’s easy to go overboard—which can look fake. “Just make sure your teeth aren’t whiter than the whites of your eyes,” Dr. Rozenberg says.
Health.com: 20 things that can ruin your smile
Spritz a zesty scent
Weird but true: People may think you look up to five years younger if you’re sporting a grapefruit scent, according to a study at the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation. Make that little bit of science work in your favor by picking a spray balanced by vetiver and rosemary, so it comes off bright and fresh, not grapefruit-juice acidic.De-freckle your chestTina Fey’s Saturday Night Live skit about a chest-freckle concealer called "Checkles" may have been a joke, but the aging effect of decolletage spots is for real. "The number-one cause is, once again, the sun," Dr. Gordon says. Wear sunscreen to prevent the development of more blemishes, and switch up your regular body lotion for one that includes spot-reducing ingredients.
Baby your hands
Dry skin makes fine lines and ropy-looking veins more visible, so something as simple as applying an antioxidant-rich moisturizer can make hands feel softer and look fresher. "I tell my patients to apply moisturizer and always wear gloves in the winter," Dr. Gordon explains. "It's not just the sun that causes damage—cold winds suck the moisture right out of your hands, which can make them look older, if only temporarily."
Don’t yo-yo diet
You don't necessarily need to drop pounds to shave a few years off your looks. (In fact, a study in the Journal of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery suggests that after age 40, a lower BMI can actually make some women look older.) Rather, it's important to do your best to get to a healthy weight and stick to it through the years. "Rapid weight gain or loss can cause visible changes in the skin, such as stretch marks and laxity," says Jennifer Linder, MD, a dermatologist in Scottsdale, Arizona. Healthy living is nature’s beauty treatment: "If you drink plenty of water and consistently eat a healthy diet, your skin will look better."
Health.com: 15 big benefits of water
Make over your legs
Varicose and spider veins are an instant ager, and the most effective way to remove them is with sclerotherapy, Dr. Linder says. "The procedure involves injecting a therapeutic solution into the veins, which causes them to collapse," she explains of the in-office treatment, which can cost anywhere from $150 to $1,000, depending on the number, size, and location of the veins. For a quicker fix—which will also hide spots and scars you’ve accumulated over the years—try a leg-perfecting lotion or spray.Fix up your feetAge makes you wiser, more confident, more successful—but it doesn’t do much for your feet. "The constant pressure feet endure can lead to dry, callused skin," Dr. Linder explains. Nothing gets soles smoother than a foot file. Use it at the end of your shower, then follow up with a rich cream that contains at least 10 percent lactic acid. (If your rough feet are accompanied by yellowed nails, get those toes to a doctor; you could have a fungal infection.) Final tip: Pick a bright, fun toenail polish like hot pink instead of a staid shade like mauve.
7 Habits That Make You Fat
7 Habits That Make You Fat
By David ZinczenkoJan 03, 2011
According to recent research, the average person makes 200 decisions every day that will influence his or her weight. And most of these decisions aren’t monumental choices, like “Should I become an elite marathon runner?” or “Should I move to Wisconsin and live entirely on bratwurst and cheese curds?” Most, in fact, are tiny little choices—habits, really—that over the long run, lead us down one of two paths: The road to ripped, or the freeway to flab.And guess what? That’s great news! Because it means that you don’t have to run marathons—or even give up bratwurst—to start losing serious weight. You just need to break 7 very simple, common habits—tiny changes that have nothing to do with diet and exercise, but have everything to do with dropping pounds, looking great, and making a huge improvement in your health.
FAT HABIT #1: Putting the Serving Dishes on the Table
Researchers at Cornell University found that when people served themselves from the kitchen counter or the stove, they ate up to 35 percent less food than they did when the grub was on the kitchen or dining room table. When there’s distance between us and our food, the scientists theorize, we think harder about whether we’re really hungry for more.
FAT HABIT #2: Getting Too Little (or Too Much) Sleep
A sleep schedule is vital to any weight-loss plan, say Wake Forest University researchers who tracked study participants for 5 years. In the under-40 age group, people who slept 5 hours or less each night gained nearly 2½ times as much abdominal fat as those who logged 6 to 7 hours; also, those who slept 8 hours or longer added nearly twice as much belly fat as the 6- to 7-hour group. People with sleep deficits tend to eat more (and use less energy) because they’re tired, says study coauthor Kristen Hairston, M.D., while those who sleep longer than 8 hours a night tend to be less active.
Bonus Tip: Preparing your own food is always healthier, and books like Cook This, Not That! can show you how to easily save time, money and calories. If you do go out, though, be prepared for the caloric calamities that lurk at restaurants by avoiding this list of The 10 Worst Fast Food Meals in America.
FAT HABIT #3: Not Multitasking While Watching TV
We don't need to tell you that too much TV has been linked to weight gain. But here's what you may not realize: You can have your TV and watch it, too. Just do something else at the same time. Washing dishes burns 70 calories every 30 minutes. So does ironing. Here's another thing to keep in mind: Cutting TV time even a little helps you burn calories, say researchers at the University of Vermont. In their study, overweight participants who cut their viewing time in half (from an average of 5 hours to 2.5) burned an extra 119 calories a day. “Nearly anything you do—even reading—uses more energy than watching TV,” says study author Jennifer J. Otten, Ph.D.
Bonus Tip: Got 10, 20, or 30 pounds to lose? Research shows that you're more likely to succeed if you have a friend or family member join you on your quest. (That's why we created the Belly Off! Club, a FREE weight loss community where members motivate and support one another. Click here to join today.)
FAT HABIT #4: Drinking Soda
Researchers say you can measure a person’s risk of obesity by measuring his or her soda intake. Versus people who don’t drink sweetened sodas, here’s what your daily intake means:
½ can = 26 percent increased risk of being overweight or obese½ to 1 can = 30.4 percent increased risk1 to 2 cans = 32.8 percent increased riskMore than 2 cans = 47.2 percent increased riskThat’s a pretty remarkable set of stats. You don’t have to guzzle Double Gulps from 7-Eleven to put yourself at risk—you just need to indulge in one or two cans a day. Wow. And because high-fructose corn syrup is so cheap, food marketers keep making serving sizes bigger (even the “small” at most movie theaters is enough to drown a raccoon). That means we’re drinking more than ever and don’t even realize it: In the 1950s, the average person drank 11 gallons of soda a year. By the mid-2000s, we were drinking 46 gallons a year. A Center for Science in the Public Interest report contained this shocking sentence: “Carbonated soft drinks are the single biggest source of calories in the American diet.”
Bonus Tip: When it comes to making us fat, soda is only one of the big offenders. Other sugary drinks can add belly fat fast, too--so never imbide anything on this shocking list of The 20 Worst Drinks in America. Otherwise you can be slurping more than an entire day's worth of calories, sugar and fat--in just a few minutes.
FAT HABIT #5: Taking Big Bites
Dutch researchers recently found that big bites and fast chewing can lead to overeating. In the study, people who chewed large bites of food for 3 seconds consumed 52 percent more food before feeling full than those who chewed small bites for 9 seconds. The reason: Tasting food for a longer period of time (no matter how much of it you bite off) signals your brain to make you feel full sooner, say the scientists.Bonus Tip: Now that you know how to optimize your eating, you need to know the foods that marketers try to convince us our healthy--when they're anything but. Check out this indispensable Eat This, Not That! slideshow of 25 New 'Healthy' Foods that Aren’t!
Fat Habit #6: Not Eating Enough Fat
You don’t have to go whole hog on a low-carb diet to see results. Simply swapping a few hundred calories of carbs for a little fat may help you lose weight and reduce your blood-insulin levels, according to researchers from the University of Alabama at Birmingham. People in their study who consumed just 43 percent of their calories from carbohydrates felt fuller after 4 hours and maintained their blood-sugar levels longer than those who ate 55 percent carbs. Carbs can cause blood-sugar levels to spike and then crash, leading to hunger and overeating, says study author Barbara Gower, Ph.D. Fat, on the other hand, keeps you satiated longer. Some easy swaps: butter instead of jam on toast; bacon instead of potatoes; low-fat milk instead of a sports drink.
FAT HABIT #7: Not Getting the Best Guidance!
Signing up for e-mails (or tweets) that contain weight-loss advice can help you drop pounds, a new study reveals. When researchers from Canada sent diet and exercise advice to more than 1,000 working adults weekly, they discovered that the recipients boosted their physical activity and ate smarter. People who didn’t receive the reminders didn’t change. Lucky for you, we publish the best diet and fitness guidance every single day. Sign up for our free daily Eat This, Not That! newsletter or follow me right here on Twitter, and make 2011 your fittest flat-belly year ever!
------------
EAT RIGHT RULE: If your food can go bad, it's good for you. If it can't go bad, it's bad for you. FOLLOW DAVE ZINCZENKO RIGHT HERE ON TWITTER and get FREE health, nutrition and weight-loss secrets like this one every day! You'll lose weight and get healthy faster than ever!
Check out these cutting-edge guides to fast and easy weight loss, the brand-new Men’s Health Big Book of Exercises and Women’s Health Big Book of Exercises.
By David ZinczenkoJan 03, 2011
According to recent research, the average person makes 200 decisions every day that will influence his or her weight. And most of these decisions aren’t monumental choices, like “Should I become an elite marathon runner?” or “Should I move to Wisconsin and live entirely on bratwurst and cheese curds?” Most, in fact, are tiny little choices—habits, really—that over the long run, lead us down one of two paths: The road to ripped, or the freeway to flab.And guess what? That’s great news! Because it means that you don’t have to run marathons—or even give up bratwurst—to start losing serious weight. You just need to break 7 very simple, common habits—tiny changes that have nothing to do with diet and exercise, but have everything to do with dropping pounds, looking great, and making a huge improvement in your health.
FAT HABIT #1: Putting the Serving Dishes on the Table
Researchers at Cornell University found that when people served themselves from the kitchen counter or the stove, they ate up to 35 percent less food than they did when the grub was on the kitchen or dining room table. When there’s distance between us and our food, the scientists theorize, we think harder about whether we’re really hungry for more.
FAT HABIT #2: Getting Too Little (or Too Much) Sleep
A sleep schedule is vital to any weight-loss plan, say Wake Forest University researchers who tracked study participants for 5 years. In the under-40 age group, people who slept 5 hours or less each night gained nearly 2½ times as much abdominal fat as those who logged 6 to 7 hours; also, those who slept 8 hours or longer added nearly twice as much belly fat as the 6- to 7-hour group. People with sleep deficits tend to eat more (and use less energy) because they’re tired, says study coauthor Kristen Hairston, M.D., while those who sleep longer than 8 hours a night tend to be less active.
Bonus Tip: Preparing your own food is always healthier, and books like Cook This, Not That! can show you how to easily save time, money and calories. If you do go out, though, be prepared for the caloric calamities that lurk at restaurants by avoiding this list of The 10 Worst Fast Food Meals in America.
FAT HABIT #3: Not Multitasking While Watching TV
We don't need to tell you that too much TV has been linked to weight gain. But here's what you may not realize: You can have your TV and watch it, too. Just do something else at the same time. Washing dishes burns 70 calories every 30 minutes. So does ironing. Here's another thing to keep in mind: Cutting TV time even a little helps you burn calories, say researchers at the University of Vermont. In their study, overweight participants who cut their viewing time in half (from an average of 5 hours to 2.5) burned an extra 119 calories a day. “Nearly anything you do—even reading—uses more energy than watching TV,” says study author Jennifer J. Otten, Ph.D.
Bonus Tip: Got 10, 20, or 30 pounds to lose? Research shows that you're more likely to succeed if you have a friend or family member join you on your quest. (That's why we created the Belly Off! Club, a FREE weight loss community where members motivate and support one another. Click here to join today.)
FAT HABIT #4: Drinking Soda
Researchers say you can measure a person’s risk of obesity by measuring his or her soda intake. Versus people who don’t drink sweetened sodas, here’s what your daily intake means:
½ can = 26 percent increased risk of being overweight or obese½ to 1 can = 30.4 percent increased risk1 to 2 cans = 32.8 percent increased riskMore than 2 cans = 47.2 percent increased riskThat’s a pretty remarkable set of stats. You don’t have to guzzle Double Gulps from 7-Eleven to put yourself at risk—you just need to indulge in one or two cans a day. Wow. And because high-fructose corn syrup is so cheap, food marketers keep making serving sizes bigger (even the “small” at most movie theaters is enough to drown a raccoon). That means we’re drinking more than ever and don’t even realize it: In the 1950s, the average person drank 11 gallons of soda a year. By the mid-2000s, we were drinking 46 gallons a year. A Center for Science in the Public Interest report contained this shocking sentence: “Carbonated soft drinks are the single biggest source of calories in the American diet.”
Bonus Tip: When it comes to making us fat, soda is only one of the big offenders. Other sugary drinks can add belly fat fast, too--so never imbide anything on this shocking list of The 20 Worst Drinks in America. Otherwise you can be slurping more than an entire day's worth of calories, sugar and fat--in just a few minutes.
FAT HABIT #5: Taking Big Bites
Dutch researchers recently found that big bites and fast chewing can lead to overeating. In the study, people who chewed large bites of food for 3 seconds consumed 52 percent more food before feeling full than those who chewed small bites for 9 seconds. The reason: Tasting food for a longer period of time (no matter how much of it you bite off) signals your brain to make you feel full sooner, say the scientists.Bonus Tip: Now that you know how to optimize your eating, you need to know the foods that marketers try to convince us our healthy--when they're anything but. Check out this indispensable Eat This, Not That! slideshow of 25 New 'Healthy' Foods that Aren’t!
Fat Habit #6: Not Eating Enough Fat
You don’t have to go whole hog on a low-carb diet to see results. Simply swapping a few hundred calories of carbs for a little fat may help you lose weight and reduce your blood-insulin levels, according to researchers from the University of Alabama at Birmingham. People in their study who consumed just 43 percent of their calories from carbohydrates felt fuller after 4 hours and maintained their blood-sugar levels longer than those who ate 55 percent carbs. Carbs can cause blood-sugar levels to spike and then crash, leading to hunger and overeating, says study author Barbara Gower, Ph.D. Fat, on the other hand, keeps you satiated longer. Some easy swaps: butter instead of jam on toast; bacon instead of potatoes; low-fat milk instead of a sports drink.
FAT HABIT #7: Not Getting the Best Guidance!
Signing up for e-mails (or tweets) that contain weight-loss advice can help you drop pounds, a new study reveals. When researchers from Canada sent diet and exercise advice to more than 1,000 working adults weekly, they discovered that the recipients boosted their physical activity and ate smarter. People who didn’t receive the reminders didn’t change. Lucky for you, we publish the best diet and fitness guidance every single day. Sign up for our free daily Eat This, Not That! newsletter or follow me right here on Twitter, and make 2011 your fittest flat-belly year ever!
------------
EAT RIGHT RULE: If your food can go bad, it's good for you. If it can't go bad, it's bad for you. FOLLOW DAVE ZINCZENKO RIGHT HERE ON TWITTER and get FREE health, nutrition and weight-loss secrets like this one every day! You'll lose weight and get healthy faster than ever!
Check out these cutting-edge guides to fast and easy weight loss, the brand-new Men’s Health Big Book of Exercises and Women’s Health Big Book of Exercises.
Top 10 Reasons Small Businesses Fail
Top 10 Reasons Small Businesses Fail
NYTimes
JAY GOLTZ, On Wednesday January 5, 2011, 2:05 pm EST
One of the least understood aspects of entrepreneurship is why small businesses fail, and there's a simple reason for the confusion: Most of the evidence comes from the entrepreneurs themselves.
I have had a close-up view of numerous business failures -- including a few start-ups of my own. And from my observation, the reasons for failure cited by the owners are frequently off-point, which kind of makes sense when you think about it. If the owners really knew what they were doing wrong, they might have been able to fix the problem. Often, it's simply a matter of denial or of not knowing what you don't know.
In many cases, the customers -- or, I should say, ex-customers -- have a better understanding than the owners of what wasn't working. The usual suspects that the owners tend to blame are the bank, the government, or the idiot partner. Rarely does the owner's finger point at the owner. Of course, there are cases where something out of the owner's control has gone terribly wrong, but I have found those instances to be in the minority. What follows -- based on my own experiences and observations -- are my top 10 reasons small businesses fail. The list is not pretty, it is not simple, and it does not contain any of those usual suspects (although they might come in at Nos. 11, 12 and 13).
1. The math just doesn't work. There is not enough demand for the product or service at a price that will produce a profit for the company. This, for example, would include a start-up trying to compete against Best Buy and its economies of scale.
2. Owners who cannot get out of their own way. They may be stubborn, risk adverse, conflict adverse -- meaning they need to be liked by everyone (even employees and vendors who can't do their jobs). They may be perfectionist, greedy, self-righteous, paranoid, indignant, or insecure. You get the idea. Sometimes, you can even tell these owners the problem, and they will recognize that you are right -- but continue to make the same mistakes over and over.
3. Out-of-control growth. This one might be the saddest of all reasons for failure -- a successful business that is ruined by over-expansion. This would include moving into markets that are not as profitable, experiencing growing pains that damage the business, or borrowing too much money in an attempt to keep growth at a particular rate. Sometimes less is more.
4. Poor accounting. You cannot be in control of a business if you don't know what is going on. With bad numbers, or no numbers, a company is flying blind, and it happens all of the time. Why? For one thing, it is a common -- and disastrous -- misconception that an outside accounting firm hired primarily to do the taxes will keep watch over the business. In reality, that is the job of the chief financial officer, one of the many hats an entrepreneur has to wear until a real one is hired.
5. Lack of a cash cushion. If we have learned anything from this recession (I know it's "over" but my customers don't seem to have gotten the memo), it's that business is cyclical and that bad things can and will happen over time -- the loss of an important customer or critical employee, the arrival of a new competitor, the filing of a lawsuit. These things can all stress the finances of a company. If that company is already out of cash (and borrowing potential), it may not be able to recover.
6. Operational mediocrity. I have never met a business owner who described his or her operation as mediocre. But we can't all be above average. Repeat and referral business is critical for most businesses, as is some degree of marketing (depending on the business).
7. Operational inefficiencies. Paying too much for rent, labor, and materials. Now more than ever, the lean companies are at an advantage. Not having the tenacity or stomach to negotiate terms that are reflective of today's economy may leave a company uncompetitive.
8. Dysfunctional management. Lack of focus, vision, planning, standards and everything else that goes into good management. Throw fighting partners or unhappy relatives into the mix, and you have a disaster.
9. The lack of a succession plan. We're talking nepotism, power struggles, significant players being replaced by people who are in over their heads -- all reasons many family businesses do not make it to the next generation.
10. A declining market. Book stores, music stores, printing businesses and many others are dealing with changes in technology, consumer demand, and competition from huge companies with more buying power and advertising dollars.
In life, you may have forgiving friends and relatives, but entrepreneurship is rarely forgiving. Eventually, everything shows up in the soup. If people don't like the soup, employees stop working for you, and customers stop doing business with you. And that is why businesses fail.
Jay Goltz owns five small businesses in Chicago.
Quoted: http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Top-10-Reasons-Small-nytimes-3522435825.html?x=0
NYTimes
JAY GOLTZ, On Wednesday January 5, 2011, 2:05 pm EST
One of the least understood aspects of entrepreneurship is why small businesses fail, and there's a simple reason for the confusion: Most of the evidence comes from the entrepreneurs themselves.
I have had a close-up view of numerous business failures -- including a few start-ups of my own. And from my observation, the reasons for failure cited by the owners are frequently off-point, which kind of makes sense when you think about it. If the owners really knew what they were doing wrong, they might have been able to fix the problem. Often, it's simply a matter of denial or of not knowing what you don't know.
In many cases, the customers -- or, I should say, ex-customers -- have a better understanding than the owners of what wasn't working. The usual suspects that the owners tend to blame are the bank, the government, or the idiot partner. Rarely does the owner's finger point at the owner. Of course, there are cases where something out of the owner's control has gone terribly wrong, but I have found those instances to be in the minority. What follows -- based on my own experiences and observations -- are my top 10 reasons small businesses fail. The list is not pretty, it is not simple, and it does not contain any of those usual suspects (although they might come in at Nos. 11, 12 and 13).
1. The math just doesn't work. There is not enough demand for the product or service at a price that will produce a profit for the company. This, for example, would include a start-up trying to compete against Best Buy and its economies of scale.
2. Owners who cannot get out of their own way. They may be stubborn, risk adverse, conflict adverse -- meaning they need to be liked by everyone (even employees and vendors who can't do their jobs). They may be perfectionist, greedy, self-righteous, paranoid, indignant, or insecure. You get the idea. Sometimes, you can even tell these owners the problem, and they will recognize that you are right -- but continue to make the same mistakes over and over.
3. Out-of-control growth. This one might be the saddest of all reasons for failure -- a successful business that is ruined by over-expansion. This would include moving into markets that are not as profitable, experiencing growing pains that damage the business, or borrowing too much money in an attempt to keep growth at a particular rate. Sometimes less is more.
4. Poor accounting. You cannot be in control of a business if you don't know what is going on. With bad numbers, or no numbers, a company is flying blind, and it happens all of the time. Why? For one thing, it is a common -- and disastrous -- misconception that an outside accounting firm hired primarily to do the taxes will keep watch over the business. In reality, that is the job of the chief financial officer, one of the many hats an entrepreneur has to wear until a real one is hired.
5. Lack of a cash cushion. If we have learned anything from this recession (I know it's "over" but my customers don't seem to have gotten the memo), it's that business is cyclical and that bad things can and will happen over time -- the loss of an important customer or critical employee, the arrival of a new competitor, the filing of a lawsuit. These things can all stress the finances of a company. If that company is already out of cash (and borrowing potential), it may not be able to recover.
6. Operational mediocrity. I have never met a business owner who described his or her operation as mediocre. But we can't all be above average. Repeat and referral business is critical for most businesses, as is some degree of marketing (depending on the business).
7. Operational inefficiencies. Paying too much for rent, labor, and materials. Now more than ever, the lean companies are at an advantage. Not having the tenacity or stomach to negotiate terms that are reflective of today's economy may leave a company uncompetitive.
8. Dysfunctional management. Lack of focus, vision, planning, standards and everything else that goes into good management. Throw fighting partners or unhappy relatives into the mix, and you have a disaster.
9. The lack of a succession plan. We're talking nepotism, power struggles, significant players being replaced by people who are in over their heads -- all reasons many family businesses do not make it to the next generation.
10. A declining market. Book stores, music stores, printing businesses and many others are dealing with changes in technology, consumer demand, and competition from huge companies with more buying power and advertising dollars.
In life, you may have forgiving friends and relatives, but entrepreneurship is rarely forgiving. Eventually, everything shows up in the soup. If people don't like the soup, employees stop working for you, and customers stop doing business with you. And that is why businesses fail.
Jay Goltz owns five small businesses in Chicago.
Quoted: http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Top-10-Reasons-Small-nytimes-3522435825.html?x=0
Wisdom: Part 2
Gaining wisdom isn the ultimate grace of God. True wisdom begins with the fear of the Lord, and we are only taught to fear God through His grace. To those who obtain wisdom, God desire to give more abundantly, for it is they that know how to seek and hunger for his wisdom. Arthur Pink elaborates on this type of wisdom in his sermon, "Wisdom for the Wise."
And unto that "wise"man -God gave more "wisdom"-as He"gives more grace" unto the humble (James4:6). And this striking and blessed incident has been recorded for our learning-to show us what spiritual wisdom is, how it acts, and what it obtains. Natural knowledge puffs up its possessor, and the more he has, the more self-sufficient he deems himself. But it is the very opposite with spiritual wisdom-the more God bestows of that upon His child, the more ignorant and stupid he feels himself to be, and the more dependent upon the Holy Spirit he becomes. Then it is, that he really values that precious promise "If any of you lacks wisdom-let him ask of God-who gives to all liberally and upbraids not;and it shall be given him" (James1:5). The truly "wise" person will not only greatly prize such a promise, but he will daily make use of it, mixing faith, therewith, pleading if before the throne of grace, and obtaining answers of peace.
Why not ask God for His wisdom today, for He who is faithful will keep the promises He has for you? God is only waiting for you to take that first step of faith in asking Him through prayer.
Living Life
And unto that "wise"man -God gave more "wisdom"-as He"gives more grace" unto the humble (James4:6). And this striking and blessed incident has been recorded for our learning-to show us what spiritual wisdom is, how it acts, and what it obtains. Natural knowledge puffs up its possessor, and the more he has, the more self-sufficient he deems himself. But it is the very opposite with spiritual wisdom-the more God bestows of that upon His child, the more ignorant and stupid he feels himself to be, and the more dependent upon the Holy Spirit he becomes. Then it is, that he really values that precious promise "If any of you lacks wisdom-let him ask of God-who gives to all liberally and upbraids not;and it shall be given him" (James1:5). The truly "wise" person will not only greatly prize such a promise, but he will daily make use of it, mixing faith, therewith, pleading if before the throne of grace, and obtaining answers of peace.
Why not ask God for His wisdom today, for He who is faithful will keep the promises He has for you? God is only waiting for you to take that first step of faith in asking Him through prayer.
Living Life
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