Marriage: Is there a Right Age?

Marriage: Is there a Right Age?
Tuesday February 8, 2011 06:37 am PST



By Bea Johnson for Yahoo! Southeast Asia





The simple answer is no. For every man, woman or couple it is an intensely personal decision which only you can make.

In Jane Austen's day (that is, around 210 years ago) girls were being married off at the age of 17, and unmarried women as "old" as 21 were considered spinsters.

Nowadays, at the age of 21, most Western educated girls have not even finished university. Both sexes are likely to postpone marriage until their lives have been set up – which for most, means after finishing their education and setting up a career. Marriage used to be the first step into adulthood, but now it is often the last.

Singapore has followed this Western trend, with a steady increase in the average female marrying age since the 1960s, from all levels of education and across all the main ethnic groups. Compared with the 1990s, singlehood rates among men on the island state have also increased. This delay is logically followed by a postponement in child bearing. There is also a strong correlation between educational level and family size. The averages both worldwide and in Singapore bear this out: University graduates from all age groups have tended to have the fewest children.

Sara*, 29, is married with a three-year-old daughter. She was the first of all her friends to marry (at the age of 22) and is still the only person from her group of friends with children. "Although I wanted to have children young, it has been quite a lonely experience, as none of my friends know what I am going through – and I can't relate to a lot of their experiences either. My children will also be so much older than my friends' children, which is a pity."

Because she has a child, Sara has also not finished her university degree, and cannot see when she will have the time or the money to do so.

Lauren on the other hand, finished university and focused on her career, and now in her early thirties she is single and worried. "If and when I meet someone, we'll need some time to get to know each other, and by the time we get married and are ready to have children, it might be too late."

Marcus and Becky got married straight after university. Marcus says: "We knew we wanted to be together, so we didn't wait to get married, but we are still too young for kids, so we'll wait a few more years before we do that. There is still so much we want to do."

No matter the trend, for now at least, the science remains immutable. Married or not, a woman's chances of having children decrease the older you get, and if you are the traditional type, you may want to be married prior to becoming parents.

*Names have been changed.

Quoted: http://sg.promotion.yahoo.com/weekend-edition/hype/post/hype/54/marraige-is-there-a-right-age.html

In the dating game, speaking styles count: study

In the dating game, speaking styles count: study
Reuters - Wednesday, February 2

NEW YORK - American researchers have found a new way to predict the success of a relationship -- compare the speaking style of a couple.

In a study of college students they found that couples whose language was in sync were almost four times more likely to want to see each other again than those who did not use similar language.

"We are able to predict this at higher rates than the people themselves," said Professor James Pennebaker, of the University of Texas, who headed the research team.

The researchers, who reported their findings in the journal Psychological Science, focused on function words -- which are not nouns or verbs but the words that show how those words relate. For example: a, be, anything, that, will, him.

"Function words are highly social and they require social skills to use," Pennebaker explained. "For example, if I'm talking about the article that's coming out, and in a few minutes I make some reference to 'the article', you and I both know what that article means."

As part of the experiment, about 40 pairs of college students participated in four-minute speed dates and had their conversations recorded.

"We found that function words are a powerful reflection of somebody's psychological state," Pennebaker said. "You can tell when people are in the same state or are on the same page."

A second part of the study examined the everyday instant message conversations between already dating couples over a 10-day period. The conversations were analyzed by a computer for words and conversational patterns.

Pennebaker said that researchers were once again able to fairly accurately predict which couples would continue dating.

They found that the speaking and writing styles couples use during interactions are a good indicator of whether or not a relationship will be successful.

"The higher their style matching scores, the more likely they were to still be dating later on," Pennebaker said.

About 80 percent of the couples whose conversational styles were similar were still dating three months after the experiment, compared with just 54 percent of couples whose styles were markedly different.

Pennebaker said that the results were notable because they occur during everyday conversations, even though most people don't notice.

"None of us pay attention to these words," Pennebaker said. "What's wonderful about this is we don't really make that decision; it just comes out of our mouths."

Quoted: http://sg.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20110202/tod-odd-us-relationships-language-odds-a929486.html

Take Up Your Armor and Fight

In Ephesians 6:12, the Bible says that "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." There is a war waging constantly in the spiritual realm and as children of God we are in God's army fighting battles every day. And according to many prophecies in the Bible, our battles will only escalate as the end of time comes nearer to us.

The prophecy of Daniel 11 tells us of "the certain suffering of the saints, especially those living in the days of this evil king" yet to come. This king has a special animosity toward God, toward Israel, toward the covenant, and toward all who worship and serve God. Repeatedly, he comes in contact with Israel and consistently seeks to devour, destroy or defile it. "When wicked men rule, the saints should expect to suffer. This is the consistent teaching of the Word of God fro the saints" (see John 15:17-21; Acts 14:22; 2 Timothy 3:12; James 1:2-4; 1 Peter 1:6-9; 2:18-25; 4:1-6,16-19).

It is our duty as soldiers in God's army to take up our armor and fight; and in order to fight effectively we must know the Word of God, which is our sword. Although everyone is given a sword, the ones who spend long hours training with it will experience the most victories. Train yourself in the word of God and overcome all of the enemy's attacks that come against you daily

Living Life