Valentine’s Day etiquette

Valentine’s Day etiquette
By Leah Ingram

Surveys show that couples exchange 36 million boxes of chocolates and 189 million roses on Valentine’s Day. But when you’re in a new relationship, chocolates and roses may not always be the right gift to give. “Valentine’s Day means different things to different people,” says Toni Coleman, a licensed clinical social worker in McLean, VA and founder of www.consum-mate.com, a relationship counseling website. “Doing too much or too little when the other person doesn’t feel the same way about February 14th could spell trouble for a new relationship.”

If you’re unsure how to handle Valentine’s Day dating and gift etiquette, read on for advice for when you’ve just met someone, when you’ve been dating for a few months and when you’re in a committed relationship.

When you have just met someone
Planning the day: It’s unrealistic to expect a big, romantic celebration at this stage of the game. “If you’ve had a date or two, it’s OK for one of you to say, ‘Hey, Valentine’s Day is coming up, and even though we’ve only gone out a few times, I thought it would be fun to do something together, like catch a movie.’ If the other person wants to do that, that’s great,” says Coleman. However, if the other person hems and haws, you should back off and schedule a date for a different day. It could be something as simple as this person has already made plans, or maybe the other person isn’t ready to be with someone on Valentine’s Day, since the day comes with a lot of expectations.

Getting a gift: What if you two do get together that day — should you bring a present? “It’s fine to give something small,” Coleman says. For example, if you know your date collects things with pigs on them, giving her a pig refrigerator magnet says, “I pay attention to what you like.” Similarly, if a guy has mentioned that he loves reading Stephen King novels, picking up the latest one for him is thoughtful, not a huge profession of undying love. Just remember that you should never give a gift with the expectation of receiving one in return. Be prepared for the fact that the other person may not have thought to get you something, and make sure you can handle that before offering up your gift.

When you have been dating for a few months
Planning the day: Sometimes you spend a few months with someone and you know: “I’ve met The One.” Other times, things are going well, but you couldn’t say for sure that you would expect to spend the rest of your life with this person. Nonetheless, if you’ve been going out for a few months, it is reasonable to expect that you’re going to make plans to do something for Valentine’s Day. Coleman suggests broaching the topic lightly: “You could say something like, ‘Valentine’s Day is in two weeks… do you want to pretend it doesn’t exist or do you want to do something?’”

How the person reacts to the idea of spending Valentine’s Day together is a good litmus test for a budding relationship. It may be an important occasion for your sweetie… or perceived as a bogus, commercial holiday. Just another day on the calendar. If your opinions differ, try to compromise out of respect for each other. “If your date says, ‘For me, Valentine’s Day has always been kind of hokey, but if it matters to you, let’s do something together,’ then that’s great,” advises Coleman. However, if he or she refuses to acknowledge a preference to spend the day together or refuses to budge from the typical wine-and-roses plan to celebrate the day, then this couple has more to worry about than what to do on February 14th. Adds Coleman, “It’s all about how you negotiate this stuff where you don’t see eye to eye.”

Getting a gift: No matter how giddy your sweetie makes you feel, give something meaningful but not inappropriately extravagant. So giving the sports buff tickets for the two of you to attend a Big 10 basketball game would be wonderful; renting out a skybox at a stadium and catering it would be completely over the top. Also, giving a gift that the two of you can enjoy together — tickets to an event, a night away together — can guarantee more shared good times ahead.

When you are in an established relationship
Planning the day: A funny thing happens on the way to Valentine’s Day once you’ve been dating for a long time — people tend to take the emphasis off of it and treat it just like any other day. Coleman says that it’s important not to take a relationship for granted at this point and not making an effort to do something special is a mistake. Take the opportunity to celebrate together. It doesn’t have to be a classic candlelit dinner. Maybe it’s going shopping together at your local farmers’ market and putting together a little picnic while watching a DVD of a good movie you two missed. Anything that can make the night about enjoying each other’s company will be a valuable gesture.

Getting a gift: Probably the biggest minefield when you’ve been dating each other for awhile is whether or not to get engaged on Valentine’s Day, a popular time for popping the question. The expert advice is, don’t give in to the pressure unless you’re really feeling it. “If there is any doubt in your mind about whether or not proposing is appropriate, pick another day to ask that question,” says Coleman.

If you’re not at that stage yet, a gift that shows how well you know each other’s lives can be wonderful. It may not be the most romantic thing, but some silk long underwear for a honey who’s always cold or pre-paid golf lessons for a someone who’s always wanted to learn the game can be a terrific way to reflect how in touch you are with each other.

Leah Ingram writes about gifts for Valentine’s Day (and many other holidays) in her book, Gifts Anytime: How to Find the Perfect Present for Any Occasion.

Quoted: http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=9269&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=722787

Who Was Saint Valentine?

Who Was Saint Valentine?
by Mike Krumboltz

Over the past 24 hours, Web interest in Saint Valentine has soared like an errant arrow. Searches on Yahoo! for "saint valentine" and "who was saint valentine" each spiked over 300 percent.

So who was St. Valentine? Was he a great lover a la Casanova? Was he even a real person? According to Catholic Online, St. Valentine was very real, but he probably wasn't a smooth operator with the ladies.

"Valentine was a holy priest in Rome, who, with St. Marius and his family, assisted the martyrs in the persecution under Claudius II." For his trouble, Valentine was beaten and then executed after authorities were unable to get him to renounce his faith. His death occurred on February 14.

As with many events that occurred so long ago, other theories abound. Indeed, there were several different Valentines, and nobody is 100 percent sure which one was which. Some believe he was a priest, others believe he was a bishop, some believe he was a combination of the two, and still others believe he was someone else entirely. All that said, there is little doubt among experts that Valentine did exist in one form or another.

As for how the holiday came to represent love and kisses, there are few different theories for that as well. According to blog specializing in saints, "some believe the Romans had a mid-February custom where boys drew the names of girls in honour of the sex and fertility goddess, Februata Juno." Others feel the custom of greetings "stems from the belief that birds begin to pair on that date."

There are a slew of related searches on everything from "valentine's day poems" to "romantic movies" to (brace yourself) "good pick up lines." And it's all thanks to the one and only St. Valentine, whoever he was.

Quoted: http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/94286

Death, Only the Beginning

The world looks at Christians and must think that we are strange. The reason we are strange is because as the bride of Christ we look forward to death, the day we get to meet our Groom. God's beloved does not fear death, but rather is excited to go home where there is eternal rest.

To the eye of nature - death is dreadul, and the grave is repulsive. But to the eye of the faith, and as represented in the New Covenant - they are stripped of all that is dreadful and repulsive, so that an Apostle could say, "To die is to gain!" or "To die is best of all!"

How amazing is it that Jesus Christ our Savior tasted death for us so that we would not have to? Thinking about the sweet reunion and intimacy we will have with our Lord should make us all excited with overwhelming joy. Blessed will we be on the day we can exclaim that we have fought good fight and have kept the faith!

Living Life