5 steps for earning date #2

5 steps for earning date #2 By Amy Keyishian

You’ve done it: You’ve met someone for that initial face-to-face date, and things are going swimmingly. You like this person and it seems like the feeling’s mutual. Now, all that remains is asking this person for date #2; but let’s face it, “I had a great time, wanna meet up again?” doesn’t exactly sound that clever or convincing, does it? That’s why we’ve found some far more engaging ways to broach the question. Try them and you may be surprised how much easier it is to ask... and how often you’ll get a yes!

1. Do some prepwork
Here’s one move you can put in motion even before you’ve set out on date #1: Flip through the local newspaper and take note of some upcoming events that you’d deem date-worthy. Then, once you are with this person and feeling good about it, slyly slip those events into the conversation, like this: “I’ve really been into Florence and the Machine lately. What about you?” If his or her reaction seems favorable, at the end of the date (or in the ensuing days), you can say, “I heard that Florence and the Machine is in town next weekend. Want to go?” The fact that you’ve already tested out your date’s interest level during your first meeting means you’ll have insider info on whether he or she will be gung-ho to go, which is always a good thing.

2. Play opposites
First dates are often limited in scope: coffee, a gallery opening, lunch; relatively risk-free locations that can be easily escaped from if you two aren’t feeling a love connection. Once that’s done with, though, it pays to try something that’s completely different to show this person date #2 won’t be the same old, same old. You can even call it out: “Now that we’ve done the swanky gallery thing, maybe it’s time to proceed to the blue-jeans portion of our courtship and go hiking.” Or, “Since I think our last coffee date proved that we’re kindred spirits, how about we see how we’d do as adversaries over a game of pool?” The subtle challenge implied in such a statement will show just how wonderfully unpredictable you can be and tempt anyone to take you up on it.

3. Show off your listening skills
Nothing impresses a date more than proof you were actually listening to what he or she was saying — and that’s why you should keep your ears perked throughout date #1 for any and all of his or her interests and unfulfilled whims. So, if he waxed on and on about the comic genius of Will Ferrell, suggest seeing Will’s latest movie for your next date or renting Saturday Night Live; The Best of Will Ferrell for a cozy-but-gut-busting evening in. But also know that picking up on your date’s smaller, more offhand comments will pack an even bigger punch. So if she briefly mentioned she can’t tell the difference between Camembert and Brie, say, “Hey, how about we try a cheese plate and taste several so you’re no longer in the dark about it?” It’ll make her think, “Wow, I can’t believe he remembered I said that!”

4. Say it with Hallmark
Or, well, whatever kind of card strikes your fancy. You can send a cheeky e-greeting with a funny message (that’s funny, not sexy, not sleazy, and not offensive), or you can go the ol’ snail-mail route and send a postcard that says “Thank you, I’d love to do that again” or “That was fun; here’s your formal invitation for further hijinx.” Hey, in today’s text-y, voicemail-y, instant-feedback driven world, a little extra layer of formality can really make you stand out from the crowd.

5. Tell a fortune
If date #1 is going well, end it with a little view into the future. You don’t actually have to be a fortune-teller, just say with a wink, “Did you know I’m a palm reader? Here, let me show you,” and take your date’s hand. Tracing the lines there, say, “Hmmm, I see another date in your future.” Trace further. “Oh, and look at that! It’s with me!” A variation to consider: if fortune cookies land on your table post-dinner, say that yours reads, “Someone close to you right now is free next Friday. Ask that person out.” How cute is that? And who doesn’t appreciate a date who’s funny, and wants to spend more time sharing some laughter? Amy Keyishian has written for Cosmopolitan, Maxim, and other publications.

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