Are you afraid of commitment?
By Julie H. Case
It may sound unusual, but it’s true: I’m afraid of commitment. Just the idea of being part of a committed relationship and all its “trappings” (i.e., moving out to the suburbs, getting married, and becoming dependent on another person in my day-to-day life) — makes me shudder. The possibility of being consumed by my passion for someone else? Absolutely terrifying.
Unfortunately, my commitment phobia is now affecting my relationship with an incredibly wonderful man.
Why is it that making a lifelong commitment, something Hollywood and the media have ingrained into women to be the ultimate goal of relationships, feels so frightening for some of us? Why does building a strong and impenetrable wall around our hearts feel so much safer than appearing vulnerable or needy to the opposite sex? It may be counter-dependency.
Most people are familiar with codependent couples’ clinginess and revolving caretaker roles in relationships thanks to talk shows, self-help books and the like. Counter-dependents, however, radiate aloofness and are driven to project an image that makes them seem wholly self-sustained. While most of us have probably never even heard of counter-dependency, in reality, it affects a large swath of society, according to Dr. Janae B. Weinhold, counselor and co-author of Counter-Dependency: the Flight from Intimacy and her co-author and psychologist husband, Dr. Barry K. Weinhold.
“There are some people who cling and want a closeness, and then there are other people who push away, who avoid, who are just not comfortable with intimacy,” says Janae.
There is, of course, a difference between being happily single and counter-dependent. It’s a common assumption that all single people would be happier in a coupled state, but in modern society, that simply isn’t true. You can be happily single even when you’re not actively dating.
So how do you know whether you are counter-dependent or simply someone who is leading your life in a way that works for you? According to Dr. Linda Young, counseling psychologist, if you actively choose to avoid developing romantic relationships and have a list of reasons why it’s never going to work out for you, or find that in relationships your partner always wants more than you’re willing to give, it may be a sign of counter-dependency.
Characteristics of counter-dependency
The Weinholds lay out some distinctive counter-dependent traits in their book, such as having trouble getting close to people and difficulty sustaining intimacy in romantic relationships. Other characteristics include:
Having limited ability to feel emotions in regards to romantic relationships (such as justified anger or sadness)
Having a tendency to say no to new ideas from your partner
Feeling anxiety while forming close relationships
A need for perfection
Being afraid of letting others control you
Being consumed by the needs of your partner
Refusing to ask for help
Becoming easily bored
Needing to constantly seek out new thrills
Having a tendency to work long hours during the week and on weekends
“In our culture, counter-dependency is actually rewarded,” says Janae. “If you’re a person who has so much trouble with intimacy you’re willing to work 60 or 70 hours a week and are willing to be on the road traveling, it’s like ‘oh, that’s a good employee.’ It’s a socially accepted thing to be successful and that’s part of the trademark of the counter-dependent person. They are more successful ‘out in the world’ but not so successful at intimacy.”
Another hallmark of the counter-dependent, says Young, is an overwhelming desire to control your own destiny: “If you’re a person who pulls yourself up by your bootstraps, who wants to be in as much control over your destiny as possible, you may also be a counter-dependent.”
Sure, but don’t most of us? Yes, say the Weinholds. It’s the old way of thinking that says we have to lose ourselves in a relationship because true love conquers all. “People often have black-and-white thinking in holding the belief that only one person in the relationship can have his or her needs met,” says Janae. “There is a real need for people to realize that both people can get needs met in a relationship.”
According to the Weinholds, both counter-dependency and codependency are developmental, not medical issues, stemming from the earliest childhood experiences. Perhaps there was some trauma in the family at the age we were supposed to be bonding with our parents, or developing our own independent selves. Whatever growth we didn’t manage to finish in our childhood, we’re obligated to continue to try to play out as adults.
“The natural learning style of human beings is to repeat something over and over until they get it right,” says Barry. “If there’s something that didn’t get completed in your childhood, it’s going to get repeated in adulthood. That’s not bad, it’s just the intent we have as human beings to learn and to grow.”
While many codependents suffered neglect as a child, many counter-dependents suffered abuse. And many people flip back and forth between co- and counter-dependency. People might want intimacy — to the point of acting co-dependent — and heavily pursue a partner, but the moment they get that intimacy they turn into being counter-dependent and run the other way, says Janae.
Understanding that dance between counter-dependent and codependent is a big part of getting beyond it, Janae says, and for many it’s recognizing that moment when they flip that the light bulb turns on.
The good news is that counter-dependency doesn’t have to be a sentence to a life of singlehood.
Communication is the key to breaking the cycle
“I am so counter-dependent; I am always like the elusive guy in a relationship, but I’m a woman,” says Christina Gombar. “I was the ultimate ‘heart of stone’ girl. I wasn’t promiscuous but I was always the remote, cold fish emotionally, with guys sending up their hearts on platters to me. I never understood it. But I think because I was a little tough, I attracted the opposite: emotionally needy guys.” It took a very persistent and communicative man to break down what Gombar’s self-preserving distancing strategies. “I’m ‘recovered’ but only because of my husband,” Gombar says.
Relationships, scary as they may seem to some of us, actually might be the way to healing for counter-dependents. Often, we attract partners who bring with them the things we need — such as the ability to sustain intimacy — to heal.
“It all boils down to asking, ‘Can I be me in this relationship, as well as be invested in this partnership?’” says Barry. “Finding a partner that is supportive of you as an individual can be really rewarding.”
Julie H. Case is a freelance writer based in Seattle. Her work has appeared in magazines such as Sunset, Alaska Airlines Magazine and Wired.
Quoted: http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=11543
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Three key questions to answer before commitment
Three key questions to answer before commitment
By Dr. Gilda Carle, Ph.D.
The signs of love problems with your honey were obvious from day one. But not only did you ignore them, you flung yourself into the romance without caution! Now you’re seriously considering whether to seal the deal.
You’re not alone. Everyone miscalculates love options from time to time, including the rich and famous. After 12 years of marriage, gorgeous supermodel and actress Christie Brinkley conceded that she really didn’t know the husband she was in the midst of divorcing. More recently, two not-so-rich and definitely not famous fiancées of murderers insisted to the media that they knew their men were really good guys — until the evidence became irrefutable. And a reader emailed me that after four years of marriage, without warning, his wife announced she could no longer be with him. This guy insisted his ex’s announcement was without warning. As my Gilda-Gram says, “No act of ‘un-love’ is random!” There are always reasons and there are always signs. And sometimes we intentionally miss the flashing neon indicators without understanding why.
Because my own shortsightedness and rationalizations did me in, I devised this Gilda-Gram for love that appears to be in question: “When in doubt, do without.” So that’s my answer to anyone in this quandary. But if you’re still unsure about infinity with your sweetie, here’s an assignment for you: Recognize your patterns of denial. Sadly, most of us keep connecting with, and even re-marrying, the same personality types — until we can’t take it anymore.
At all costs to loneliness, here are three “love checks” to assist in making your decision. While these may sustain your single status for a time, they’ll also prevent you from making a painful error.
Love Check #1: Do you insist on only being with your “type?”
I was engaged to (and almost married) a man who had traits too similar to those of my former husband. Of course, since our love choices are unconscious, at first I had no idea what was driving me towards him. But over time, I began to note that the same disagreements I had experienced with the first man were frequently being repeated with the second. While my fiancé was pushing me to tie the knot, I fortunately recognized that I was actually enjoying the comfort of our arguments (hard to admit!) simply because they were familiar. It took courage and counseling — the same kind I give others today — for me to put the kibosh on my marriage plans. In the end, I realized that what I thought to be my “type” was exactly the “type” I needed to avoid!
This “type” thing tricks singles into relationships that sometimes even others don’t understand or like. I recently saw in the news that a successful model in an expensive apartment in New York City had the audacity to marry her porter-turned-doorman lover! She said it didn’t matter to her whether he was a porter or a lawyer; she did not go for a particular type. Unfortunately, her snotty neighbors didn’t see it that way. After he carried her over the threshold he once swept, he was fired from his doorman position and the neighbors have been trying to evict the newlyweds from their building. So much for other’s expectations of what YOUR type should be, right?
Obviously, there’s a lot of pressure in relationships. Answer this before you venture into the land of the familiar: “Where has my type gotten me so far?” Was your response the one that you expected?
Love Check #2: Do you squash your reluctance to ask questions?
A beautiful and successful 42-year-old client revealed that she speaks her mind to all her dates — as long as they’re not serious contenders. Once a guy strums her heart strings, however, she goes mute. She has had many long-term romances, but none that lasted; no man ever got to know her. She sought my counsel to understand why she was still single.
It’s never the wrong time to discover whether your honey really knows you. While you may think it’s solely about love, a relationship is really your opportunity for self-growth. Observe what your sweetheart tells you. As this Gilda-Gram says, “There are no slips of the tongue; what you hear is what you need to know.” As you avoid making the same love mistakes, you will open space up for better long-term romantic prospects.
Love Check #3: Do you trumpet your personal strengths?
Harvard University found that independent teen girls transform into wimps as soon as boys enter their lives. But women usually don’t acknowledge that they give up anything to be with their guy. On the other hand, single men tend to tease their buddies who get involved in relationships by saying things like, “You’re whipped!”
For a year, I saw Clara at my gym each morning where she made her workouts her priority. Then she vanished. One day, I bumped into her on the street. When I asked where she had been, her response was, “Oh, I became involved with someone.” I said, “So?” I couldn’t believe that having a boyfriend was the real reason Clara let her workouts slide. As my Gilda-Gram warns, “The moment you morph your interests into your honey’s, that’s the moment your honey will lose interest in you.”
You are right to think hard about cementing that bond. If you are currently having issues, how will you cope when problems appear without invitation? Shape your present now so your future will naturally take care of itself.
Relationship expert Dr. Gilda Carle, Ph.D., has a private practice and is an associate professor at Mercy College in New York. Her best-selling books include 99 Prescriptions for Fidelity and How to Win When Your Mate Cheats. Please visit her website and send your relationship questions to her at DrGilda@DrGilda.com.
Quoted: http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=11634
By Dr. Gilda Carle, Ph.D.
The signs of love problems with your honey were obvious from day one. But not only did you ignore them, you flung yourself into the romance without caution! Now you’re seriously considering whether to seal the deal.
You’re not alone. Everyone miscalculates love options from time to time, including the rich and famous. After 12 years of marriage, gorgeous supermodel and actress Christie Brinkley conceded that she really didn’t know the husband she was in the midst of divorcing. More recently, two not-so-rich and definitely not famous fiancées of murderers insisted to the media that they knew their men were really good guys — until the evidence became irrefutable. And a reader emailed me that after four years of marriage, without warning, his wife announced she could no longer be with him. This guy insisted his ex’s announcement was without warning. As my Gilda-Gram says, “No act of ‘un-love’ is random!” There are always reasons and there are always signs. And sometimes we intentionally miss the flashing neon indicators without understanding why.
Because my own shortsightedness and rationalizations did me in, I devised this Gilda-Gram for love that appears to be in question: “When in doubt, do without.” So that’s my answer to anyone in this quandary. But if you’re still unsure about infinity with your sweetie, here’s an assignment for you: Recognize your patterns of denial. Sadly, most of us keep connecting with, and even re-marrying, the same personality types — until we can’t take it anymore.
At all costs to loneliness, here are three “love checks” to assist in making your decision. While these may sustain your single status for a time, they’ll also prevent you from making a painful error.
Love Check #1: Do you insist on only being with your “type?”
I was engaged to (and almost married) a man who had traits too similar to those of my former husband. Of course, since our love choices are unconscious, at first I had no idea what was driving me towards him. But over time, I began to note that the same disagreements I had experienced with the first man were frequently being repeated with the second. While my fiancé was pushing me to tie the knot, I fortunately recognized that I was actually enjoying the comfort of our arguments (hard to admit!) simply because they were familiar. It took courage and counseling — the same kind I give others today — for me to put the kibosh on my marriage plans. In the end, I realized that what I thought to be my “type” was exactly the “type” I needed to avoid!
This “type” thing tricks singles into relationships that sometimes even others don’t understand or like. I recently saw in the news that a successful model in an expensive apartment in New York City had the audacity to marry her porter-turned-doorman lover! She said it didn’t matter to her whether he was a porter or a lawyer; she did not go for a particular type. Unfortunately, her snotty neighbors didn’t see it that way. After he carried her over the threshold he once swept, he was fired from his doorman position and the neighbors have been trying to evict the newlyweds from their building. So much for other’s expectations of what YOUR type should be, right?
Obviously, there’s a lot of pressure in relationships. Answer this before you venture into the land of the familiar: “Where has my type gotten me so far?” Was your response the one that you expected?
Love Check #2: Do you squash your reluctance to ask questions?
A beautiful and successful 42-year-old client revealed that she speaks her mind to all her dates — as long as they’re not serious contenders. Once a guy strums her heart strings, however, she goes mute. She has had many long-term romances, but none that lasted; no man ever got to know her. She sought my counsel to understand why she was still single.
It’s never the wrong time to discover whether your honey really knows you. While you may think it’s solely about love, a relationship is really your opportunity for self-growth. Observe what your sweetheart tells you. As this Gilda-Gram says, “There are no slips of the tongue; what you hear is what you need to know.” As you avoid making the same love mistakes, you will open space up for better long-term romantic prospects.
Love Check #3: Do you trumpet your personal strengths?
Harvard University found that independent teen girls transform into wimps as soon as boys enter their lives. But women usually don’t acknowledge that they give up anything to be with their guy. On the other hand, single men tend to tease their buddies who get involved in relationships by saying things like, “You’re whipped!”
For a year, I saw Clara at my gym each morning where she made her workouts her priority. Then she vanished. One day, I bumped into her on the street. When I asked where she had been, her response was, “Oh, I became involved with someone.” I said, “So?” I couldn’t believe that having a boyfriend was the real reason Clara let her workouts slide. As my Gilda-Gram warns, “The moment you morph your interests into your honey’s, that’s the moment your honey will lose interest in you.”
You are right to think hard about cementing that bond. If you are currently having issues, how will you cope when problems appear without invitation? Shape your present now so your future will naturally take care of itself.
Relationship expert Dr. Gilda Carle, Ph.D., has a private practice and is an associate professor at Mercy College in New York. Her best-selling books include 99 Prescriptions for Fidelity and How to Win When Your Mate Cheats. Please visit her website and send your relationship questions to her at DrGilda@DrGilda.com.
Quoted: http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=11634
7 dates that’ll create instant chemistry
7 dates that’ll create instant chemistry
By Matt Schneiderman
You’ve had a pleasant date or two, but you “just aren’t feeling it…” yet. Rest assured, attraction isn’t always instant: Research shows that it typically takes a guy three meetings to fall for a woman — and as many as 20 dates for her to feel the same. Plus, there are things you can do during these early outings that’ll help get some chemistry percolating and jump-start your budding relationship. So, consider skipping your typical dinner date and trying one of these options to get a buzz going between you.
Date idea #1: Go hunting
No, not the hunting that requires killing furry creatures — rather, the two of you taking on a mission to find something, be it a gift for Mother’s Day or some much-needed furniture for your date’s den. Errand-running may not seem very romantic, but it’s actually a modern-day version of an ancient bonding ritual where people had to hunt together to survive. Says David Givens, Ph.D., an anthropologist and author of Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship, “Searching involves reward, and the shared pleasure when you find, say, the perfect jacket is reminiscent of the hunter-gatherers finding food.” So, don’t be surprised if by the end of your shopping spree you start feeling a real connection with your partner in crime.
Date idea #2: Get dizzy
According to one study, men and women who met on a bridge high over rushing water rated each other as more attractive than those they met elsewhere. The lesson for you? Vertigo is your friend. “There’s something about staring down dizzying distances that makes the heart grow fonder, perhaps because the adrenaline rush, sweaty palms, and racing pulse you feel bears a striking resemblance to the sensations you experience during — you got it — arousal, and people can’t help but transfer those feelings to the person they’re with,” notes Givens. So, got a hot date coming up? We’re not suggesting you say, “Meet me on a bridge” — that would be odd, for sure. But you can propose heading to that restaurant or lounge that’s nearly always situated atop a city’s highest skyscraper. Or, try a rooftop club or venue where there’s a balcony. Go rock climbing, or hike up a mountain together. Just think: the higher you go, the more attracted you’ll be to each other!
Date idea #3: Attend a group dining experience
Move the typical date meal away from the two-top (that’s waiter-speak for “table for two”) and into a communal dining spot — like the grill-table at a Benihana-style Japanese place or a shared table at a busy Italian or German restaurant. Eating amongst others not only takes the pressure off you both to continue an ongoing tête-à-tête, it also helps to establish the two of you as a de facto couple. According to Givens, we all have a common fear of strangers, and individuals will bond more closely with the person they know best when interacting with a bunch of people. “In a group setting, you’re a pair united against a world of strangers,” says Givens. And that will get you bonding more strongly.
Date idea #4: Get in touch with your artistic sides
Even if you’re no Picasso, proposing a pottery, painting, or mosaic class can make you see your date in a whole new (and sexier) light. That’s because creative endeavors are more intuitive and sensory-driven than your more rational, logical date-night activities, like conversations about books you’ve read recently or the pros and cons of telecommuting. Plus, if you’re working on creating something together, even better. Couples at all relationship stages bond this way, whether they’re making babies, renovating their fixer-upper, or just trying out a Thai recipe for the first time. “You’re no longer strangers when you’re trying to make the same dish,” points out Givens. “You’ll get to like each other pretty fast, and it creates a natural synchronicity.”
Date idea #5: Get nosy
Of all your five senses, scent will kick-start the mood like no other. “Smell is chemical,” says Givens. “It activates the emotional part of the brain.” So, by comparing notes at a cheese-tasting event or breathing in the aromas at a local lilac or orchid festival, you two will be all the more tuned into more sentimental thoughts — maybe even about each other.
Date idea #6: Dance, dance, dance
Get your eyes locked, your feet in step and your hands all over each other… at a ballroom dancing lesson. According to Travis Hendricks, an instructor at Dance New York (which sent two contestants to participate in Dancing With the Stars), the latest dance craze is salsa. “It’s such a sensual dance,” says Hendricks. “You dance very close.” If the Latin dance doesn’t appeal, try learning the cha-cha or Peabody. Regardless of your dance preference, you’ll find you and your date moving towards a real connection because it forces you to get your bodies in synch and mirror each other’s movements — a proven tactic for forging a bond. “Dancing is an immediate way to get on the same page,” says Givens. “It has both a tactile and a visual dimension of sameness, which creates great rapport.”
Date idea #7: Play a game together
Whether it’s playing pool or Taboo, a little competition can create instant chemistry. Just avoid head-to-head competition early on — no one likes being on the losing end, so try teaming up against another couple or some pals. That way, you reap the benefits of game play, regardless of whether you win or lose. “When you’re paired together against other people, you and your date become natural allies,” says Givens. “Your mutual aggression is going outwards. It’s a very strong way to bond.”
New York City-based freelance writer Matt Schneiderman has written for Stuff and Sync.
Quoted: http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=10214&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=737598
By Matt Schneiderman
You’ve had a pleasant date or two, but you “just aren’t feeling it…” yet. Rest assured, attraction isn’t always instant: Research shows that it typically takes a guy three meetings to fall for a woman — and as many as 20 dates for her to feel the same. Plus, there are things you can do during these early outings that’ll help get some chemistry percolating and jump-start your budding relationship. So, consider skipping your typical dinner date and trying one of these options to get a buzz going between you.
Date idea #1: Go hunting
No, not the hunting that requires killing furry creatures — rather, the two of you taking on a mission to find something, be it a gift for Mother’s Day or some much-needed furniture for your date’s den. Errand-running may not seem very romantic, but it’s actually a modern-day version of an ancient bonding ritual where people had to hunt together to survive. Says David Givens, Ph.D., an anthropologist and author of Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship, “Searching involves reward, and the shared pleasure when you find, say, the perfect jacket is reminiscent of the hunter-gatherers finding food.” So, don’t be surprised if by the end of your shopping spree you start feeling a real connection with your partner in crime.
Date idea #2: Get dizzy
According to one study, men and women who met on a bridge high over rushing water rated each other as more attractive than those they met elsewhere. The lesson for you? Vertigo is your friend. “There’s something about staring down dizzying distances that makes the heart grow fonder, perhaps because the adrenaline rush, sweaty palms, and racing pulse you feel bears a striking resemblance to the sensations you experience during — you got it — arousal, and people can’t help but transfer those feelings to the person they’re with,” notes Givens. So, got a hot date coming up? We’re not suggesting you say, “Meet me on a bridge” — that would be odd, for sure. But you can propose heading to that restaurant or lounge that’s nearly always situated atop a city’s highest skyscraper. Or, try a rooftop club or venue where there’s a balcony. Go rock climbing, or hike up a mountain together. Just think: the higher you go, the more attracted you’ll be to each other!
Date idea #3: Attend a group dining experience
Move the typical date meal away from the two-top (that’s waiter-speak for “table for two”) and into a communal dining spot — like the grill-table at a Benihana-style Japanese place or a shared table at a busy Italian or German restaurant. Eating amongst others not only takes the pressure off you both to continue an ongoing tête-à-tête, it also helps to establish the two of you as a de facto couple. According to Givens, we all have a common fear of strangers, and individuals will bond more closely with the person they know best when interacting with a bunch of people. “In a group setting, you’re a pair united against a world of strangers,” says Givens. And that will get you bonding more strongly.
Date idea #4: Get in touch with your artistic sides
Even if you’re no Picasso, proposing a pottery, painting, or mosaic class can make you see your date in a whole new (and sexier) light. That’s because creative endeavors are more intuitive and sensory-driven than your more rational, logical date-night activities, like conversations about books you’ve read recently or the pros and cons of telecommuting. Plus, if you’re working on creating something together, even better. Couples at all relationship stages bond this way, whether they’re making babies, renovating their fixer-upper, or just trying out a Thai recipe for the first time. “You’re no longer strangers when you’re trying to make the same dish,” points out Givens. “You’ll get to like each other pretty fast, and it creates a natural synchronicity.”
Date idea #5: Get nosy
Of all your five senses, scent will kick-start the mood like no other. “Smell is chemical,” says Givens. “It activates the emotional part of the brain.” So, by comparing notes at a cheese-tasting event or breathing in the aromas at a local lilac or orchid festival, you two will be all the more tuned into more sentimental thoughts — maybe even about each other.
Date idea #6: Dance, dance, dance
Get your eyes locked, your feet in step and your hands all over each other… at a ballroom dancing lesson. According to Travis Hendricks, an instructor at Dance New York (which sent two contestants to participate in Dancing With the Stars), the latest dance craze is salsa. “It’s such a sensual dance,” says Hendricks. “You dance very close.” If the Latin dance doesn’t appeal, try learning the cha-cha or Peabody. Regardless of your dance preference, you’ll find you and your date moving towards a real connection because it forces you to get your bodies in synch and mirror each other’s movements — a proven tactic for forging a bond. “Dancing is an immediate way to get on the same page,” says Givens. “It has both a tactile and a visual dimension of sameness, which creates great rapport.”
Date idea #7: Play a game together
Whether it’s playing pool or Taboo, a little competition can create instant chemistry. Just avoid head-to-head competition early on — no one likes being on the losing end, so try teaming up against another couple or some pals. That way, you reap the benefits of game play, regardless of whether you win or lose. “When you’re paired together against other people, you and your date become natural allies,” says Givens. “Your mutual aggression is going outwards. It’s a very strong way to bond.”
New York City-based freelance writer Matt Schneiderman has written for Stuff and Sync.
Quoted: http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=10214&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=737598
God's Story
God has always expressed Himself to the people of this world. Every person has been given the chance to come to know Him. As the Bible says in Acts 14:17, "Yet he has not left himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their season; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy."
How God chooses to reveal Himself to His creation has differed over time. He has spoken through prophets. He has come as a man Himself, and God also speaks to us through His Scriptures. God's word is one of the best ways to become intimate with Christ. We get to see some of who the God of heaven and Earth is. The Bible tells the story, of how God has pursued His creation. Steven Hawthorne writes: "God can be loved only when He is known. That's why the story of the Bible is the story of God revealing Himself in order to draw to Himself obedient worship, or glory, from the nations."
Through the Bible, we come to know the character of Christ. Through this book, we come to understand why God demands love from us, and more importantly ,why He deserves it. We were given the Bible so that we could read it.
Living Life
How God chooses to reveal Himself to His creation has differed over time. He has spoken through prophets. He has come as a man Himself, and God also speaks to us through His Scriptures. God's word is one of the best ways to become intimate with Christ. We get to see some of who the God of heaven and Earth is. The Bible tells the story, of how God has pursued His creation. Steven Hawthorne writes: "God can be loved only when He is known. That's why the story of the Bible is the story of God revealing Himself in order to draw to Himself obedient worship, or glory, from the nations."
Through the Bible, we come to know the character of Christ. Through this book, we come to understand why God demands love from us, and more importantly ,why He deserves it. We were given the Bible so that we could read it.
Living Life
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