17 Sept 2016 - 0000 - 1130 => 11 hours -> 181.5 hours
1400 - 2330 => 9.5 hours -> 193.5 hours
18 Sept 1830-2330 -> 5 Hours -> 198.5 hours
19 Sept 1830-2330 -> 5 hours -> 203.5 hours
21 Sept 1900 - 2330 -> 4.5 hours - > 208 hours
23 Sept 1900 - 2330 -> 4.5 hours -> 212.5 hours
Blk 183 120th
Lake 154.5
Carpark 160.5
First Hut 171st
Morning Half way 178.5
Non Cure Treatment 207
18 Sept
Morning disagreement
Then I work, trying to finished up my work ....managed 1 out of 2 task..... then went out to find her to eat porridge dinner.
Then we did the Word. Did just like any couple did....walk around chit chat..... exploring......all the stairs...but we just didn't do anything.... Enjoy each other presence
Then I went home. After routine at her place...... 8?
19 Sept
Out with cousin.....meet her half way to Potong Pasir MRT. She wore the same dress as she wore on the blind date.
Simple nice dinner.... my youngest cousin got lost....almost got her to pay.....she also almost become pek chek - wanted to go home
K asking my cousin who I am. My cousins all share I believe..... Then I get to use about most of the $400 initial for my Maybank card.
Went back .....routine at her place 9?
21 Sept
She wanted to do manicure/pedicure.... I suggested bishan.....she came over while I try to finish my work
I obliged to her request to eat mos burger. Then we walked around...... for a while....then we leave early..... 2130....to reach her home about 2230......
Then it all started.....2230 is 207th hour...... so I did my routine......then she hug tightly......as it is still early, so allow her to hug longer.....then she said need to take a sit.......then she sat on my lap..... my mind is already off the mood.......then we did more N to N, N to F.... my hands are just fixed a location....refusing to do much.....then she guided my hand to her back..... ...as she sat on my lap..... I put my hand in front of my G.... to protect....but she seems into the mood......anything near.....she can just start..... I find it hard to believe....but she just start.....so somewhat I know nothing is going to stop her.....so i offer my hand.....she rock to my hand......not just once but 2 rounds.........as I think back....what is the need to do so? What is she using to overcome? Yup before that there were some hint about park and carpark....but how does that lead to it..... I maybe hinting but I have no intention..... after her 2 rounds.... in which at some point i just wanted to lay down...... I did that after 2 rounds.... just want to rest....at the corner of my mind think what will she do? ride on me? or others..... she started to move her hand around me..... just focusing on the back.....then after I lay down.....to rest and relax....not expecting anything....she self-help herself to G..... without asking she just did it.... and best part is I didn't stop her..... I also don't know at this moment why I didn't stop her. Only time was the limiting factor....it was about 5-7 minutes......simple slow stroke.... This is the 2nd time she did this to me..... this time she self-serve....she said I have tears in my eyes..... which I don't know why....but guess I was really stunned, shocked or just unexpressive on what happened. I shared with her abit..... It just leave me not sure..... and why this still continues..... I suspect there is a deeper thing....but now I am not stopping.....May God grace reign and be sufficient.....let it not led to a dark journey... I don't deny I may have prayed for it..... or joked about it....But God your grace is more than that.....there is a greater purpose that physical satisfaction. May Your will be done...May your healing start in her life.
Thursday, September 22, 2016
16 Sept F1 race and all the build up......I learnt more that what I expect.... 17 Sept is meeting her close GF
16 Sept 2016 - 1730 - 0000 => 7.5 hours -> 170 hours
17 Sept 2016 - 0000 - 1130 => 11 hours -> 181.5 hours
1400 - 2330 => 9.5 hours -> 191 hours
Thursday didn't meet for lunch and dinner.....though thru chat she said, if I want, she will give......omg lol
It is a nice experience at F1 pit on 15 Sept..... how I wish she can be there. took some photos to send her.... It is a nice experience. Nice toilet compare to on Friday. Thank God my colleague drove me back....or nearby. Looking forward for 16 Sept
16 Sept work work work
Enjoy ourselves
KFC fast food
Eat Melon ice cream.
Drank Coffee Bean together Black forest with cherry
Watch the car zooming past together.
Taking photos together
Enjoying each other company
can't remember what we chatted.... causal chat nothing too serious. Really being a couple
Point out of the various car. The different color car.... the sky line, the F1 cars on MBS. The multi color merlion.
Then we walk and took photo at fullerton... found some nice place ...the mirror underpass is also quiet and good.Erm erm..... for MOut
So we took train back, not really at the concert....as she lean against my lap....looking at MBS....enjoying the ice cream
So when we back in Pasir ris....time to get a drink....then ask her if she wants to stay at Mac or go somewhere else....she say she would follow me.... So since I already hinted her before hand, I brought her to the place which we had our second round....
I think it started of with sitting on the lap... N to N, then tip of M to M...... then she started with M to N and H to B. Same goes for me.... for her.
To my surprise as much I am not in the mood, my mind is blank with some thoughts, I actually went close to M to B.......then first round...... yup simple and of a sustain length..... she is totally into it.....
the M to B continues after I help her with her top..... then...back to M to B, N to N...... I think it is only 2 rounds......thus the 2nd round I went H to G. or Close to it. I can't really see her reaction....but I know I didn't want to go too far.....neither do I want to take those out.... just to heighten her sensation..... so that she is enjoying it
So second or third round..... then she continues to hug me as she cools down.....
Then after all I told her i am going to release my guard....and allow myself to sink into it.....sink into the mood.....and she just auto pilot...... H to B, ...... I thought she would dig into the same places..... I just encourage her to go bolder.....though I was prepared mentally for almost all the way.... well what goes after really builds me up..... H to BB....... she just slowly and I allow my body to go into .... I really enjoy the sensation around my body....not just a part of my body. I shiver/vibrate once...and that put me a little off guard....woah....She is driving me up..... not long after my first shiver......she did something I didn't expect she would do at that stage.... as I look back I think she just followed me.
H to G ......and there she goes with a bit of my assistance.... I thought only perhaps on the outside....but she dig deeper .....she is the first who did such a thing to me....my very first....she did it for a while......until my mind was totally out of the mood..... My mind just went autopilot and cut off all sensation....and I also don't want to do too much clean up.... so I told her....yup.... I have enough....told her that we should not do this again like that.... and told her she surprised me...and asked her where she learnt this from.....and I connected the dots.....from the 1st .....and why lead to the second....... I see the build up to why she will do it for the second...... nothing happens without a seed somewhere....
Woah....this is just common but sadly this is how it is..... thus I just asked a few more question for information..... and that concludes that night.....from just a cup of green tea....yup we were really overtimed.....we went back at 3-4 am......and there are no more tension or things rise up....for the night...as both of us are just tired....and need to wake up in 2 -3 hours time... I slept soundly at her bed while she sleeps with her mum.
The next morning is also another shocking....she in her t-shirt dress...... and I just made on her......letting her feel it..... my mind wasn't awake yet...my body just reacting......and that moment things happen quite fast.....even she is reluctant ......after a door open....we compose ourselves later....and that is how we started 17 sept instead..... I know my hands are right spot then....and we went thru a few motions....ops.... woah that was just too spontaneous.
This sums up to be
Blk 183 120th
Lake 154.5
Carpark 160.5
First Hut 171st
4.5 times.... as I type this...... there is 5.5 times already..... omg.....
17 Sept
Joking about having beer....don't know what will happen....no beer...
passed the 1st stage...2nd stage is to drink 1/2 pint beer....
Talk about my story.... the journey chit chat with them. Have a very nice atas tea....
Sharing life experience and focus on Cheryl? one of the single of her GF
Service was a struggle to keep away..... then the usual routine according to 22 Sept 2016 - 7th time?
17 Sept 2016 - 0000 - 1130 => 11 hours -> 181.5 hours
1400 - 2330 => 9.5 hours -> 191 hours
Thursday didn't meet for lunch and dinner.....though thru chat she said, if I want, she will give......omg lol
It is a nice experience at F1 pit on 15 Sept..... how I wish she can be there. took some photos to send her.... It is a nice experience. Nice toilet compare to on Friday. Thank God my colleague drove me back....or nearby. Looking forward for 16 Sept
16 Sept work work work
Enjoy ourselves
KFC fast food
Eat Melon ice cream.
Drank Coffee Bean together Black forest with cherry
Watch the car zooming past together.
Taking photos together
Enjoying each other company
can't remember what we chatted.... causal chat nothing too serious. Really being a couple
Point out of the various car. The different color car.... the sky line, the F1 cars on MBS. The multi color merlion.
Then we walk and took photo at fullerton... found some nice place ...the mirror underpass is also quiet and good.Erm erm..... for MOut
So we took train back, not really at the concert....as she lean against my lap....looking at MBS....enjoying the ice cream
So when we back in Pasir ris....time to get a drink....then ask her if she wants to stay at Mac or go somewhere else....she say she would follow me.... So since I already hinted her before hand, I brought her to the place which we had our second round....
I think it started of with sitting on the lap... N to N, then tip of M to M...... then she started with M to N and H to B. Same goes for me.... for her.
To my surprise as much I am not in the mood, my mind is blank with some thoughts, I actually went close to M to B.......then first round...... yup simple and of a sustain length..... she is totally into it.....
the M to B continues after I help her with her top..... then...back to M to B, N to N...... I think it is only 2 rounds......thus the 2nd round I went H to G. or Close to it. I can't really see her reaction....but I know I didn't want to go too far.....neither do I want to take those out.... just to heighten her sensation..... so that she is enjoying it
So second or third round..... then she continues to hug me as she cools down.....
Then after all I told her i am going to release my guard....and allow myself to sink into it.....sink into the mood.....and she just auto pilot...... H to B, ...... I thought she would dig into the same places..... I just encourage her to go bolder.....though I was prepared mentally for almost all the way.... well what goes after really builds me up..... H to BB....... she just slowly and I allow my body to go into .... I really enjoy the sensation around my body....not just a part of my body. I shiver/vibrate once...and that put me a little off guard....woah....She is driving me up..... not long after my first shiver......she did something I didn't expect she would do at that stage.... as I look back I think she just followed me.
H to G ......and there she goes with a bit of my assistance.... I thought only perhaps on the outside....but she dig deeper .....she is the first who did such a thing to me....my very first....she did it for a while......until my mind was totally out of the mood..... My mind just went autopilot and cut off all sensation....and I also don't want to do too much clean up.... so I told her....yup.... I have enough....told her that we should not do this again like that.... and told her she surprised me...and asked her where she learnt this from.....and I connected the dots.....from the 1st .....and why lead to the second....... I see the build up to why she will do it for the second...... nothing happens without a seed somewhere....
Woah....this is just common but sadly this is how it is..... thus I just asked a few more question for information..... and that concludes that night.....from just a cup of green tea....yup we were really overtimed.....we went back at 3-4 am......and there are no more tension or things rise up....for the night...as both of us are just tired....and need to wake up in 2 -3 hours time... I slept soundly at her bed while she sleeps with her mum.
The next morning is also another shocking....she in her t-shirt dress...... and I just made on her......letting her feel it..... my mind wasn't awake yet...my body just reacting......and that moment things happen quite fast.....even she is reluctant ......after a door open....we compose ourselves later....and that is how we started 17 sept instead..... I know my hands are right spot then....and we went thru a few motions....ops.... woah that was just too spontaneous.
This sums up to be
Blk 183 120th
Lake 154.5
Carpark 160.5
First Hut 171st
4.5 times.... as I type this...... there is 5.5 times already..... omg.....
17 Sept
Joking about having beer....don't know what will happen....no beer...
passed the 1st stage...2nd stage is to drink 1/2 pint beer....
Talk about my story.... the journey chit chat with them. Have a very nice atas tea....
Sharing life experience and focus on Cheryl? one of the single of her GF
Service was a struggle to keep away..... then the usual routine according to 22 Sept 2016 - 7th time?
13 Sept I meet my friend and received a message 14 Sept K and I talked
12 Sept 2016 - 1500 - 2330 => 8.5 hours => 156.5 hours
14 Sept 2016 - 1 hour lunch + 1830 - 2330 = 6 hours => 162.5 hours
16 Sept 2016 - 1730 - 0000 => 7.5 hours -> 170 hours
17 Sept 2016 - 0000 - 1130 => 11 hours -> 181.5 hours
1400 - 2330 => 9.5 hours -> 191 hours
Again: 160.5 hours
13 Sept didn't meet K lunch. Then dinner Finally meet Sharon, Day was effective in some ways.
Lunch with Smoky.... with her as she politely asked if she mind I join her....sooo sweet and kind of her. 2 times.....and she has her own lunch.....already and she still don't mind joining me for lunch. Chatted and talk....she shared her life, and how her date is.....well I shared abit of mine.... mostly hearing her out.
Evening, dinner was quick and good....Japanese food. talked about life, work, biyang, then as we proceed to a place where Mandarin Gallery, Artique Café
Then chat .....K message she feel jealous...so I told Sharon Chia, I need to attend to this first....
I learnt: Destiny. Support group, Otter sleep, PT on a intimate level beyond marriage.
I was concerned and shared with K about things.... on the next day 14 Sept. We pray through the phone and talked about something....
14 Sept.... I told her that for lunch, lets spend time together in love.....just really as a couple.... nothing else..... enjoying each other and showering each other with TLC..... let the evening be the evening. It rained still and she grab me close to her heart..... But it was nice
Evening comes...... I napped in the afternoon in prep...didn't do much but the time arrives...... I used about 5-10 minutes to prepare...... Negative emotion and its impact.
1. What are negative emotion
2. How does Negative emotion affects our lives
3. Our reaction / responds to negative emotions
4. Factor of consideration and the reason why it is a concern.
So on myside, aloof, disappointed, upset, jealous, self-critical.
Reactions: Sin more, Can't be bother mode, do more harm to self and to others, being extreme.
Affect our lives - we doubt, we argue, we can't love each other purely, we spilt up, we just do the things we agree not to
Factor of consideration - one major one for me negative emotion => creation of desire for love via PT - > with the right amount of arousal, lead to G to G, then hurt or guilt that hurt me....and I don't know how I will respond to it......
Thus as I thought of it, I am prepared of the possibility too...I thank God.... I know I will keep to the commitment and the promise told to her..... just that there is another issue to clear
So we finish 2130...... we walked back.....she lay her head on my shoulder..... then we start to escalate a little..... I told her as we walked what I appreciate her....one which I like at time girls to take the lead..... so as we were not be able to interact with people around..... I know in my heart I sense it....she also ....then she told me let walk around.... I told her you lead the way....so we walked.....and she brought up the car park...as I approached the carpark.... I already sense it....and I just prayed in tongues..... in preparation for what is to come..... so yup we walked all the way to the top...... found a place out of sight near the lift...... and we started...... I asked permission as usual..... and she just take it off. It is more difficult but yup a least a few moments for her to release.....until time does not allow....and she feel like why is she the one who wants it..I told her....it is ok....coz I already know I am at stage 8 unconditional love.....stage 7 is just one type of expression.....when stage 8, whether stage 7 exist or don't have it is fine with me..... I desire and yearn but I can live without it. I assure her.... with just 15 minutes... one last round for her.....sooo near her place....I told her I will find the place ....I lead then since she is not satisfied.... after that I ask does she wants more....she said enough already..... due to time ..... I am glad to hear that....that I allow her to release those desires....safely....
I went back to my home.....the moment my undies were off..... I felt soooooo weak and desire....just like the day before.....she just message....quick shower and get dress up.....immediately the weak feeling left me...... and I could just shower quickly and go and sleep....Thank God for everything and Praise the Lord...... this is really accelerated preparation for Marriage lol
14 Sept 2016 - 1 hour lunch + 1830 - 2330 = 6 hours => 162.5 hours
16 Sept 2016 - 1730 - 0000 => 7.5 hours -> 170 hours
17 Sept 2016 - 0000 - 1130 => 11 hours -> 181.5 hours
1400 - 2330 => 9.5 hours -> 191 hours
Again: 160.5 hours
13 Sept didn't meet K lunch. Then dinner Finally meet Sharon, Day was effective in some ways.
Lunch with Smoky.... with her as she politely asked if she mind I join her....sooo sweet and kind of her. 2 times.....and she has her own lunch.....already and she still don't mind joining me for lunch. Chatted and talk....she shared her life, and how her date is.....well I shared abit of mine.... mostly hearing her out.
Evening, dinner was quick and good....Japanese food. talked about life, work, biyang, then as we proceed to a place where Mandarin Gallery, Artique Café
Then chat .....K message she feel jealous...so I told Sharon Chia, I need to attend to this first....
I learnt: Destiny. Support group, Otter sleep, PT on a intimate level beyond marriage.
I was concerned and shared with K about things.... on the next day 14 Sept. We pray through the phone and talked about something....
14 Sept.... I told her that for lunch, lets spend time together in love.....just really as a couple.... nothing else..... enjoying each other and showering each other with TLC..... let the evening be the evening. It rained still and she grab me close to her heart..... But it was nice
Evening comes...... I napped in the afternoon in prep...didn't do much but the time arrives...... I used about 5-10 minutes to prepare...... Negative emotion and its impact.
1. What are negative emotion
2. How does Negative emotion affects our lives
3. Our reaction / responds to negative emotions
4. Factor of consideration and the reason why it is a concern.
So on myside, aloof, disappointed, upset, jealous, self-critical.
Reactions: Sin more, Can't be bother mode, do more harm to self and to others, being extreme.
Affect our lives - we doubt, we argue, we can't love each other purely, we spilt up, we just do the things we agree not to
Factor of consideration - one major one for me negative emotion => creation of desire for love via PT - > with the right amount of arousal, lead to G to G, then hurt or guilt that hurt me....and I don't know how I will respond to it......
Thus as I thought of it, I am prepared of the possibility too...I thank God.... I know I will keep to the commitment and the promise told to her..... just that there is another issue to clear
So we finish 2130...... we walked back.....she lay her head on my shoulder..... then we start to escalate a little..... I told her as we walked what I appreciate her....one which I like at time girls to take the lead..... so as we were not be able to interact with people around..... I know in my heart I sense it....she also ....then she told me let walk around.... I told her you lead the way....so we walked.....and she brought up the car park...as I approached the carpark.... I already sense it....and I just prayed in tongues..... in preparation for what is to come..... so yup we walked all the way to the top...... found a place out of sight near the lift...... and we started...... I asked permission as usual..... and she just take it off. It is more difficult but yup a least a few moments for her to release.....until time does not allow....and she feel like why is she the one who wants it..I told her....it is ok....coz I already know I am at stage 8 unconditional love.....stage 7 is just one type of expression.....when stage 8, whether stage 7 exist or don't have it is fine with me..... I desire and yearn but I can live without it. I assure her.... with just 15 minutes... one last round for her.....sooo near her place....I told her I will find the place ....I lead then since she is not satisfied.... after that I ask does she wants more....she said enough already..... due to time ..... I am glad to hear that....that I allow her to release those desires....safely....
I went back to my home.....the moment my undies were off..... I felt soooooo weak and desire....just like the day before.....she just message....quick shower and get dress up.....immediately the weak feeling left me...... and I could just shower quickly and go and sleep....Thank God for everything and Praise the Lord...... this is really accelerated preparation for Marriage lol
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