Online flirting: it's all about lip service Reuters - Wednesday, December 15
LONDON - "Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?," asked Shakespeare. Now, women of the world have replied: "No, just tell me I have beautiful lips."
A new survey of online flirting by dating website Badoo.com has found that the best Internet chat-up line for men to use is: "You have beautiful lips."
"We have found the Holy Grail of flirting," said Badoo Director of Marketing Lloyd Price.
The site, which boasts 87 million registered users worldwide, analysed the success rates of opening lines from nearly 200,000 online flirtations in 11 languages over the course of one month to come up with a "Compliment Success Index."
Site users were invited to use one of 12 different chat-up lines. Each complimented an aspect of a woman's body or appearance. Researchers measured the success rate of each line in two ways: first, their success at prompting any response at all; second, their success at launching a longer conversation -- one going back and forth at least four times.
Complimenting a woman's lips was the most successful overall, but other lines worked best in particular countries.
American, French, Italian or Brazilian women were more responsive to "You dress beautifully." Brits preferred praise for their legs, Spaniards responded to compliments about their hair, while Germans and Canadians preferred skin praise. Dutch and Portuguese women liked: "You have beautiful ears."
Jo Hemmings, a British behavioural psychologist said women responded best to compliments about their lips because it's a bold approach that seems more personal.
"What many women want is for men to take the initiative and not be wishy-washy," Hemmings said in a statement accompanying the survey. "A lot of men on dating sites send a sort of generic message and women recognize something that hasn't been customised for them."
David Givens, American author of the book, "Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship" said the results made sense because women focus a lot of attention on their lips.
"From adolescence onwards, they cosmetically adorn their lips, applying lipstick and colours. They have been doing so since ancient Egypt."
Quoted: http://sg.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20101215/tod-odd-us-flirting-online-a929486.html
Monday, December 20, 2010
Love is the biggest seller.
"Love is the biggest seller."
This is a quote from a news article that I saw just now.
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/ann/20101219/tap-feature-heartbreak-in-facebook-world-aee7c44.html
Just putting some of my thoughts on the above statement.
Love in ways is the biggest seller.
Look at the media around us. TV, drama. Where will there be an absence of Love or love related matter. Just like the latest Movie blockbuster, Harry Potter - Deathly Hollows Part 1. There are scents of kissing, of jealousy, of rage. - in relationship to love. That is what touches audience heart. It present what is so true to most people in a form of media that arouse the inner feeling but not too overwhelming.
That I believe what is so popular in the past about Taiwan drama and Hong Kong Family drama. Those that caught people chasing episode, one after another. I believe, as long one is free to watch drama, regardless whether loved or more room to be loved, a virtual reality appeals and stimulate our emotion and thoughts. Like at times I still frustrated on certain scene within drama...why A want to do this to B...or Triangle love relationship....Oh...Girl is doing harm to Guy when Girl like Guy...such and sort.
In what other areas does Love sells.
Think about Valentine Day. When I was younger, Valentine Day seems already quite popular and surrounding certain themes. I only know that was a card in a Card game that entitled - St Valentine's Massacre from a Game called Family Business
More on the Game Family Business: Check out: http://www.boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/170/family-business
Massacre.....on Valentine's Day...St Valentine. I did some research in the past. At this moment I don't really remember what. I will find out or Wiki it when I am free.
There is a though in my mind. What is so special about Valentine's Day. Now it is a marketing opportunity I agree, and I think it started off publicaly as an event too.
Half of the article and there are so much thoughts with me. I will leave you to think what is your opinion on the statement:
"Love is the biggest Seller".
I believe there are can many interpretation of the statement. Let my mind roam freely with the statement and of its usage....
Just like there are 2 more years to go...coz of End of the World 2012...haha
The Article quoted in case the link fails:
FEATURE: Heartbreak in Facebook world
ANN - Sunday, December 19
Kuala Lumpur (The Star/ANN) - "Goodbye, my friend, goodbye My love, you are in my heart."
Russian poet Sergei Esenin wrote this suicide note in his own blood and passed it to his friend the day before he hanged himself.
That was in 1925; imagine what he would have done if he had killed himself today.
When Alviss Kong, 22-year-old from Malaysia, decided to take his life after his girlfriend of four months left him last week, he posted a farewell status on his Facebook page together with a teary photo of himself.
The status at 11.15pm read "Count Down For 45 Mins...What should I do in this 45 mins?"
In the ensuing minutes, up to 204 Facebook members "liked" his suicidal status post on his Facebook wall, but no one stopped him or alerted his family on his suicidal intentions.
Only his sister Chelvin Kong, 28, reportedly tried to talk him out of the suicide, but Alviss assured her that he was joking.
A few hours later, his body was found sprawled on a car, fallen from the 14th floor of his apartment building in Cheras, Kuala Lumpur.
This tragic tale has been getting a lot of media coverage especially in the Chinese press, begging the question -- what do you do when someone tells you that he or she wants to commit suicide?
Student Ariel Yong*, 17, believes that many thought that Alviss' message was a prank and simply played along.
"Sometimes when my friend and I wait for the LRT train, we make stupid jokes about throwing ourselves in front of the train. But we know it's just a joke. I suppose on Facebook, it is difficult to know what somebody really means unless you are also friends outside."
She feels this shows the significance of "friend" or "community" on Facebook: "Most are not real friends. My real friends would really know if I am joking or serious or if I am depressed or happy."
International survey firm TNS last month reported that Malaysians had the most "friends" on Facebook and spent nine hours a day on average surfing the site of more than 500 million members.
Real friends or not, Kim Chua*, 19, hopes Alviss got some comfort from those who responded to his wall posting.
"They may not be his real friends or close friends, but no one wants to die alone," she says.
The psychology student says studies show that an estimated 12--20% of suicides are accompanied by a note and people write it to ease their pain, not as a cry for help.
Paul Jambunathan, consultant clinical psychologist at Monash University Malaysia and Sunway Medical Centre describes those who "liked" Alviss' Facebook status as "emotional voyeurs".
"People love to hear about what is happening to others and how they are suffering," he says, linking it to the trends in today's popular culture.
"This culture includes suicide as an option to past history within the family or significant others, movies, lyrics and media sensationalism. They all have an effect that makes suicide an option when really it should never be," he says.
But ultimately, no one can be blamed for Alviss' death except himself. It was irresponsible of Alviss to put up the posting on Facebook, says Jambunathan.
"He expected society to be responsible for him. He killed himself because he was depress�ed, and became helpless and hopeless. It is unfair to pin this on the girl when the only person responsible is himself, his choices in life and the kind of friends he kept."
Jambunathan believes that Alviss might not have jumped if there was any inkling of help or hope.
Consultant psychologist Valerie Jacques agrees that Alviss was deeply depressed and put his hopes in the relationship to make him happier.
"Nothing external will make a person happier when they are depressed from deep inside," she says.
What is clear -- and somewhat comforting -- is the notion that love and the way people deal with its ups and downs have not changed over time.
Jambunathan concurs, saying that les affaires du coeur (affairs of the heart) have been known to drive men to "madness."
He explains that very deep-level emotions are involved from even the early stages of love such as infatuation right to the latter stages of mantaining a functional relationship.
"How angry are you when you are hitting on a girl you have just met, and someone else is doing the same? (Love) evokes and stimulates the very basic and deep-rooted issues in people.
"These emotions lead to aggressive behaviour that can lead people to harming others or themselves," he says.
This is probably why people act uncharacteristically when love is the core issue at stake. As they say, "love makes the world go round" or on the opposite end "love hurts."
Jambunathan points out that while suicide seems to be an extreme option, others regularly indulge in self-destructive behaviour because of failures in their relationships. The "broken-hearted" might turn to alcohol to try and forget their relationship or sleep around to make themselves feel better, he adds.
Julia*, 30, remembers when she drove to see her then boyfriend after they had a fight over the phone. She was at a party and had been drinking a lot.
In any other circumstance, she wouldn't have driven but at that moment she really had to see her boyfriend.
"I had many near misses on the road. I almost drove off a bridge but in the end I arrived at my destination. It was a very stupid thing to do," she recalls.
She says that while career and financial issues are important, they are not as important as her romantic relationships.
Nazmi Johan*, 35, says that even tough-looking males can be "over-sensitive" when their relationships fail.
"It's quite funny to see a grown man cry because of a girl but it happens," he says.
"Love is the biggest seller. In almost every movie, there is always some sort of love element. People always believe that there is someone out there made for them and they will live happily ever after," he muses.
Gregory Tan* who has been "dumped" a couple of times admits that he felt lost and turned to alcohol when his heart was broken.
"When that "one" person rejects you, it's as if the whole world is rejecting you," says Tan.
These days, he tries to be more philosophical about things. "I try to take an 'everything happens for a reason' attitude. When I fail at a relationship, I would say to myself that I would find someone more compatible," he says.
Jacques believes love, not relationships, is a big reason why people consider suicide. In Alviss's case, she believes that the root problem was that he did not feel loved.
"Even though his family love him dearly, he had a deep belief that no one loved him and so he was not lovable. So, any external sign of rejection or break up can trigger bad feelings," she says.
*Not their real names
This is a quote from a news article that I saw just now.
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/ann/20101219/tap-feature-heartbreak-in-facebook-world-aee7c44.html
Just putting some of my thoughts on the above statement.
Love in ways is the biggest seller.
Look at the media around us. TV, drama. Where will there be an absence of Love or love related matter. Just like the latest Movie blockbuster, Harry Potter - Deathly Hollows Part 1. There are scents of kissing, of jealousy, of rage. - in relationship to love. That is what touches audience heart. It present what is so true to most people in a form of media that arouse the inner feeling but not too overwhelming.
That I believe what is so popular in the past about Taiwan drama and Hong Kong Family drama. Those that caught people chasing episode, one after another. I believe, as long one is free to watch drama, regardless whether loved or more room to be loved, a virtual reality appeals and stimulate our emotion and thoughts. Like at times I still frustrated on certain scene within drama...why A want to do this to B...or Triangle love relationship....Oh...Girl is doing harm to Guy when Girl like Guy...such and sort.
In what other areas does Love sells.
Think about Valentine Day. When I was younger, Valentine Day seems already quite popular and surrounding certain themes. I only know that was a card in a Card game that entitled - St Valentine's Massacre from a Game called Family Business
More on the Game Family Business: Check out: http://www.boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/170/family-business
Massacre.....on Valentine's Day...St Valentine. I did some research in the past. At this moment I don't really remember what. I will find out or Wiki it when I am free.
There is a though in my mind. What is so special about Valentine's Day. Now it is a marketing opportunity I agree, and I think it started off publicaly as an event too.
Half of the article and there are so much thoughts with me. I will leave you to think what is your opinion on the statement:
"Love is the biggest Seller".
I believe there are can many interpretation of the statement. Let my mind roam freely with the statement and of its usage....
Just like there are 2 more years to go...coz of End of the World 2012...haha
The Article quoted in case the link fails:
FEATURE: Heartbreak in Facebook world
ANN - Sunday, December 19
Kuala Lumpur (The Star/ANN) - "Goodbye, my friend, goodbye My love, you are in my heart."
Russian poet Sergei Esenin wrote this suicide note in his own blood and passed it to his friend the day before he hanged himself.
That was in 1925; imagine what he would have done if he had killed himself today.
When Alviss Kong, 22-year-old from Malaysia, decided to take his life after his girlfriend of four months left him last week, he posted a farewell status on his Facebook page together with a teary photo of himself.
The status at 11.15pm read "Count Down For 45 Mins...What should I do in this 45 mins?"
In the ensuing minutes, up to 204 Facebook members "liked" his suicidal status post on his Facebook wall, but no one stopped him or alerted his family on his suicidal intentions.
Only his sister Chelvin Kong, 28, reportedly tried to talk him out of the suicide, but Alviss assured her that he was joking.
A few hours later, his body was found sprawled on a car, fallen from the 14th floor of his apartment building in Cheras, Kuala Lumpur.
This tragic tale has been getting a lot of media coverage especially in the Chinese press, begging the question -- what do you do when someone tells you that he or she wants to commit suicide?
Student Ariel Yong*, 17, believes that many thought that Alviss' message was a prank and simply played along.
"Sometimes when my friend and I wait for the LRT train, we make stupid jokes about throwing ourselves in front of the train. But we know it's just a joke. I suppose on Facebook, it is difficult to know what somebody really means unless you are also friends outside."
She feels this shows the significance of "friend" or "community" on Facebook: "Most are not real friends. My real friends would really know if I am joking or serious or if I am depressed or happy."
International survey firm TNS last month reported that Malaysians had the most "friends" on Facebook and spent nine hours a day on average surfing the site of more than 500 million members.
Real friends or not, Kim Chua*, 19, hopes Alviss got some comfort from those who responded to his wall posting.
"They may not be his real friends or close friends, but no one wants to die alone," she says.
The psychology student says studies show that an estimated 12--20% of suicides are accompanied by a note and people write it to ease their pain, not as a cry for help.
Paul Jambunathan, consultant clinical psychologist at Monash University Malaysia and Sunway Medical Centre describes those who "liked" Alviss' Facebook status as "emotional voyeurs".
"People love to hear about what is happening to others and how they are suffering," he says, linking it to the trends in today's popular culture.
"This culture includes suicide as an option to past history within the family or significant others, movies, lyrics and media sensationalism. They all have an effect that makes suicide an option when really it should never be," he says.
But ultimately, no one can be blamed for Alviss' death except himself. It was irresponsible of Alviss to put up the posting on Facebook, says Jambunathan.
"He expected society to be responsible for him. He killed himself because he was depress�ed, and became helpless and hopeless. It is unfair to pin this on the girl when the only person responsible is himself, his choices in life and the kind of friends he kept."
Jambunathan believes that Alviss might not have jumped if there was any inkling of help or hope.
Consultant psychologist Valerie Jacques agrees that Alviss was deeply depressed and put his hopes in the relationship to make him happier.
"Nothing external will make a person happier when they are depressed from deep inside," she says.
What is clear -- and somewhat comforting -- is the notion that love and the way people deal with its ups and downs have not changed over time.
Jambunathan concurs, saying that les affaires du coeur (affairs of the heart) have been known to drive men to "madness."
He explains that very deep-level emotions are involved from even the early stages of love such as infatuation right to the latter stages of mantaining a functional relationship.
"How angry are you when you are hitting on a girl you have just met, and someone else is doing the same? (Love) evokes and stimulates the very basic and deep-rooted issues in people.
"These emotions lead to aggressive behaviour that can lead people to harming others or themselves," he says.
This is probably why people act uncharacteristically when love is the core issue at stake. As they say, "love makes the world go round" or on the opposite end "love hurts."
Jambunathan points out that while suicide seems to be an extreme option, others regularly indulge in self-destructive behaviour because of failures in their relationships. The "broken-hearted" might turn to alcohol to try and forget their relationship or sleep around to make themselves feel better, he adds.
Julia*, 30, remembers when she drove to see her then boyfriend after they had a fight over the phone. She was at a party and had been drinking a lot.
In any other circumstance, she wouldn't have driven but at that moment she really had to see her boyfriend.
"I had many near misses on the road. I almost drove off a bridge but in the end I arrived at my destination. It was a very stupid thing to do," she recalls.
She says that while career and financial issues are important, they are not as important as her romantic relationships.
Nazmi Johan*, 35, says that even tough-looking males can be "over-sensitive" when their relationships fail.
"It's quite funny to see a grown man cry because of a girl but it happens," he says.
"Love is the biggest seller. In almost every movie, there is always some sort of love element. People always believe that there is someone out there made for them and they will live happily ever after," he muses.
Gregory Tan* who has been "dumped" a couple of times admits that he felt lost and turned to alcohol when his heart was broken.
"When that "one" person rejects you, it's as if the whole world is rejecting you," says Tan.
These days, he tries to be more philosophical about things. "I try to take an 'everything happens for a reason' attitude. When I fail at a relationship, I would say to myself that I would find someone more compatible," he says.
Jacques believes love, not relationships, is a big reason why people consider suicide. In Alviss's case, she believes that the root problem was that he did not feel loved.
"Even though his family love him dearly, he had a deep belief that no one loved him and so he was not lovable. So, any external sign of rejection or break up can trigger bad feelings," she says.
*Not their real names
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