What a conversation

Me: Ganbatte on your marking......remember to eat your lunch....and if you appreciate lunch kaki then let me know... :)
Smoky: Sure. but I won't be eating till later during meeting.
Me:yup....  15 minutes cathay sales personal will arrive...you got a moment to touch base
Smoky: What time are you sticking around in school till?
Me: until late or i am thinking of going to sixth avenue to try the Master Tang Wanton Mee, Kopitown Sixth Avenue, 10E, Sixth Avenue, 8am to 4pm, closed on Thursdays
Me: my work is mobile....so I can leave school anytime after 1330....after that lesson....I heard today no spd unless you received the notification
Smoky: I'm staying in school till about 5:30pm. Maybe we talk later on phone?
Smoky: After my meeting.
Smoky: What is it regarding? Tomorrow too late to talk?
Me: It not too late to talk.  Just depends on the things to be talked about. And do I need to prepare anything beforehand. If you want face to face I can stay
Smoky: No need. Tomorrow then?
Smoky: what is it regarding? CCA/performance?
Me: Settled with you face to face. Next time when M from Cathay photo, comes will let you know again

It is her show as she is the setter. Well it is a busy day for her....so I just message her instead.. say a hi....a more routine daily thing. It is also a relaxing day for me. I was working on the event data and the number of manhours. Then looking around and reading articles here and there....keeping myself relaxed. Only till about noon when the shipment is in the above conversation took place. Talk...I was like thinking at this busy time, what have I message that she wants to talk about. In my mind is what is it important that needs to talk about. It is just touch base only. It almost gave me a scare like is there something soooooo serious that need to talk about..?? or did she realise that I already cut the emotional linkage of my heart and let my mind be in control instead. No longer my emotion or desire drive it now. I wonder will this stop all the twitching of my forehead when I am really excited with her around. I wonder what kind of sign is that. Well, the only way to find out is to observe in the future then. Anyway, I am getting the sensing that she really like her new date and somehow I am begin to believe it by the days.....well patience it is.....in the end working colleague, close working colleague. I guess I am just reluctant. However with the lost of desire and things, perhaps there is just a working relationship left. A routine without any emotion. Doing it because it has become a routine. Doing it without thinking or feeling about it.

I remember that there are always up and downs, times of neutral emotion. Well, this is a peak period for both of us. A period where she is busy and I am also busy too. I am think I may have already made a decision somehow without thinking about it. But wanting to control the uncontrollable emotion, twitches, I some how cut off the feed of emotions that links with the pursue. With the chase. So this is the feeling about chasing a girl that you like to be with.  Or I like to spend time with. Perhaps this is a cool off period. No one know... Only God know. Let God decide then...anyway...as June come closer, it is a preparation to get closer to God. I wonder what have God prepared for me. I wonder how much have I missed God for? And the amount of things I give thanks to Him. One thing for sure I like to give thanks to Him....for letting me go through this journey with Ms Smoky. So regardless the outcome, give thanks to God. For she will be in good hands. she smiles and is happy with someone who is in the chat. So am I jealous of it. or envious of it? well to some extent yes and to some extent I am glad she can find someone whom she can smile upon know the person message her. How can I be in the way? All the thing about giving attention, or does that attention matters to me. Perhaps this is what some call the friend zone. well at least she is a friend. In my heart, I do am aware there are that are accepted and there will be there how do I go about with the accepted facts about her. Smoky smoky her.

Well let this period of time past....after MYE then....perhaps things will return to normal, that depends on what is normal. So what is the journey to be continued? It is unknown. Should I find out who is the person? Or does it matters? Well let it be bah.....  Perhaps reading more with practice it will come about. Let it progress as it is then....