Refreshing worship, renewing faith, rebuilding love

Refreshing worship. It was indeed one that was long due for a while for me, personally on Friday, 28 Mar 2008. Also a day in which was a little surprising for me as just a small note that just to mention that my mum birthday, it turned out to be a day off for her....Praise God...And Thank God for it. Nothing is better than to enjoy in His presence and fill up with His love.

Renewing Faith. It was really an renewing experience. I was doing my last HT duty. Managed to speak with YP with a few words...knowing she is on leave for this week.....woah...I wish I can be on leave too.... but well for me ....on leave = no pay......

Well this is not the main point....the key point was after I left expo to meeting Miss E for dinner at Tiong Bahru. As I was early, I was walking around and was alittle tired. In addition, my heart was a little itchy. I was assuming at that point, may I thinking too much of this girl or that girl...or why is it that I am feeling this way... Thus as I look around for a place to sit down, I finally settled to sit at Yakun, not knowing where it will be. Despite not sure of the place, I still finally found it, order my bread and sat down beside someone who is reading a book...that quoted some bible verses.

So finally I sat down. I took a peek at the book beside me....and after I intending to open my usual book - 10 Passion of Man's Soul. A question just asked. "Are you a Christian?" That started off the conservation. Her name is Ruth. A faithful servant of God. The only christian in her family. She is non-chinese, indian. She was not feeling well, and miss service due to that. She is comfortably sitten there in that usual seat. As she was feeling stressed about the situation that happened in her family while God is opening the door mircalously for her into a bible school, on a counselling course on Bible school. With the course just starting in 2 weeks, she felt lost. Just needed a listening year. A 9 year-old christian, however being faithful and her faith level is really of a different level. It was an encouragement to meet to be there as I was really touched by God that He will use me in such accord, such situation just to hear another sister in christ. I was really reminded and touched and convinced with one fact: God, you are awesome. You really love your people. You really love to use your people to bless your people. I couldn't imagine that you will use me in such a way. Lord I cried out....let my heart be tender. Let my heart be obedient to your prompting. It is a joy to serve you.....even in such small ways.

Lastly Rebuilding love. After that dinner, a chat with Miss E. And then went off with her, together with her beloved one, back to her home. The first time after knowing her for like 3 years. However it will turn out to be a night of a difference. As both J and I tried to help her give her article review inputs, her allergy rashes start to appear. As stress builds up, the itch increasingly becomes unbearable, the last straw was upon her then. A & E.....she just want to go A & E....increased frustation and intorelance. It became a challenge for me to keep calm and really encourage and encourage and encourage and encourage. Stress management during such times of high emotional interaction. I thank God that He has input such stability and calmness into me. So both of us, after doing a substantial amount of the work, sent her to the hospital. After medication and seeing that there is no real need to admit her to the hospital, also there isn't any sure and good way too, the doctor sent her home with 3 day MC. It was really heart-felt feelings seeing her going through all the pain and discomfort. However, as I strongly believe, being positive and just be "in control" is the best approach to such a situation. Seeing how one react so impatiently due to discomfort is really stressful. Every act of hurting self.....really like piercing into my heart. But I know, and I told God......this is your area. I am clueless and helpless....You are the only one who can help her. Through this situation, it taught me. "How much do I really love someone"...."If I love someone deeply, to what extent will I remain calm and not be panic" To love someone in distress really test one's love for the person. I only one thing to cry out to God.....not for me to be able to love that person more....but to ask for more capacity to love others more. God enlarge my capacity.

Through these 3 R.....it was really a fruitful week. And in just 3 days, God just taught me so many things. I just only have one simple thing. God dun forsake me and teach me more of you.....

A great re-union and a poking

A delayed report on Thur 27 Mar 2008. I finally saw her..... yup after so many years...... since 2002...a total of 6 years But this time she is not getting away....sounds so subjective.... Well I saw Esther, one of my long lost JC mates when she went for an event at Settler's Cafe. Instantly we connected and as she enjoyed herself.......

Really as I looked back and as I had already "dated" (just ask out for just a dinner), I recalled back the goodness of God. He knows in my heart that a breakthrough, in this session of reconcilation of relationship. He knows how much she, as a person, is my life of heart. Thus in all things, I still give thanks to God. I look forward to the dinner appointment, though I am uncertain and unsure where to eat, what to wear. 15 Apr 2008. That will be a day to remember.

The other thing will be the poking thing.....as for the 2nd time in a round, I left out my good brother Zhongyu from a CPD-related thing. Thus this time round, coming wednesday, I will be asking him along, hopefully that my schedule allows. Thus have to keep him in the loop of such events that is coming up.

Anyway, all these things, I just want to thank God. And praise God....coz He is a God that really take care of all our needs. He is tender and sensitive. Yet He is lovely to disciple us and never let us go in times of trouble and needs. No God is like Him. He is the God of Gods, the fathers of all fathers. Blessed

A simple incident today with just a simple word

I was travelling down intending to attend the Family Festival Free Lunchtime Talk@ One Raffles Quay. The lunchtime talk is organised by TCS Family Service in conjunction with the theme of Strengthening marriage and touching family talk, on progress towards Marriage Convention. The topic in the early part of lunch time was about Happy Ever After: How to make a Right Choice?

However there was suddenly another invitation for the weekly prayer meeting at CBD area. Thus I asked the Lord for direction. Which to go? As both seemingly to me some have personal agenda in it. By His grace, He gave me a very simple word from Matthew 6:21 - For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Indeed I fully agree as it was a message that was preached at service before. Where our treasures are,our heart will follow suit. However on a deeper level of thinking, both choices contain treasure. As another form of interpretation, it can be said in another way, where our heart is, there is where our treasure is. Thus I was sufficiently contented about the 1-verse answer and I seek for more. The talk was definitely some that will help me gain more knowledge. The prayer meeting, one invited and told by YP, will be one that is gaining prayerful ground in the marketplace and others personal grounds too. Thus making sure that my heart is right, I seek again.

This time, God just send another word, "Look carefully, observe the Word before." I remembered that as we read and interpret God's word, we have to read them in the context. Thus I read the verse preceeding verse 21. Verse 20: But store up for yourselves treasure in heaven, where moth and rust do not desroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. That required a bit of my thinking and asking. What are treasures in heaven? Knowledge is something that is gained for purpose and use on Earth. Slowly as I grinded the Word, and sense the enlightenment. Prayer is really building treasure in heaven in another way. This is due to the fact that we are faithfully asking for spiritual breakthrough. Or in other words, spiritual clouds that will rain blessing upon the area that we asked and prayed for. That assure and focus my heart, that although I was still a bit conscious, after the release of the Word, I was assure more of my purpose. Thus I went ahead for the prayer meeting instead.

Indeed it was a fruitful prayer meeting. Where I learnt a few things, some personal one and other Godly ones. Firstly, I was panickic afte realising where did I misplace my organiser. Thus I was thinking about during the prayer meeting. That distraction led me to learn as I read the book 10 Passion of a Man's Soul, on the chapter on Self-Perservation. There was a statement of truth takeaway that mentioned: Emotional maturity is being able to handle and process the instability of life with adequate resources. As I recalled, that is something where a few component are required, faith, trust and just pure knowledge of own identity in Christ. This is where growth begins, spiritual and emotionally. Indeed it was a lesson reinforced.

Thus in conclusion, where one is like flies around the counter on a mis-sent SMS. Where one luckily didn't added like a jokingly love for someone. However all these unknown and uncertainity, it really takes a pure heart, a clear mind, an attentive ear and sharps eyes to realise where and to know where God is directing. As in simple, God's plans are higher than mine; His way is higher than mine; His Best is indeed the best of the best.

To Remember the 3 days of Santification

1st day......was dozing off I guess.....but God just restor that focus for me to him.......felt me with the love and restored me..........was really touched and refreshed by his love....


2nd day....when Ps talks about hubby.....and guys....selfish and ....the things......God spoke to me how I communicated to this sister in christ who stays near my house.....and affirmed how my words can really evoked the beauty of others......I was convicted and convinced......God help me to be that man.....coz you know my heart.....I really want to love ......and teach me in all way


today, 3rd day.......was dis-focus from phone calls that I missed......committed an event proposal to God for the cafe to handle as it was relating to my ex-boss......and Praise God......things cooled down abit....and things are back in God's hand....the love of God just kept my tears when I witness the feet washing 1st point =
self-image n security...trying to relate it as I know it was a time I was surrendering the work to him. The work that he completed after the service. Security and self-image......to know who I am in Christ....to endure the 4 -5 special F words but yet say thank you and remember God loves me for who I am. Praise to be God. I think I was reminded about Shuhui, Grace Gan and the sister and people ( whom are mainly Sister ...faintz) who played some part, by God's grace and timing and position......to crave and mould the person I am.....continue that work God !!!!

Remind me to write about the experience in RL288 retreat

This is written so that in time I will write down and remember the RL288 retreat experience. So stay due, me, I will get that done.......

Yup now.....after many months 28 Sept 2008.

What I can remember of the camp....

Night of a call - Yup a call came in....and need to talk and calm someone. Well it will quite obvious who....

The notes and message: Family John 15. How remain in the vine. Pruning. Fruitfulness.....woah hopefully all these are integrated already.

Hope I will remember to find those notes to look through....

Remind me to write about the experience in RL288 retreat

This is written so that in time I will write down and remember the RL288 retreat experience. So stay due, me, I will get that done.......

Special Sunday

Today was a special sunday......a day where there is combined meeting....the last day of IT show that I didn't went at all. A day after a 16 hours shift work. A day that my HP hung on me.......the alarm that hung on me. Without the alarm......I woke up only to know that I have 55 minutes to reach Expo for the combined Family service. 55 minutes to travel, bath, brush my teeth. Strongly doubt I could make it in time for service....even if I did....not sure whether will I be admined into the hall.....where like the whole church is in one 7,000 seater hall.....it has to be a grand sight....7000 people worship at the same place.

Stayed at the home the whole day.....didn't managed to finished up much. Looking at my accounts just now.....really something that will be a challenge of faith as I overspend like 400. This month already spend 300. I like post-drafting my accounts.....but I thank God it is still maintaining about the 1000 mark. Any kind people who see this...can sponsor abit to me.........wierd idea.....though how true are things to come.

Journey has a starting point.....and all journeys along the road there are choices, as presented in cross road......especially ones that are in the desert where everywhere looks about the same....thus the way to know where to go is to know what to go to. This is something that will what some says the faith direction. Or direction of faith. More to come and more to go.

Wierd Thursday

Today is one day that will be very wierd........Check my schedule and realise that I was not suppose to be where I was.....at home thinking that I was not on shift. Thus I had to rush down to cafe via cab........for a not busy night....but I guess it is worth the effort. Getting to see Amy and Evonne as they had their wine appreciation night at WineBose. Also I get to learn 2 games today, Ilad and Fury of Dracula.

Today also heard an interesting news.....seems like TMK is attached already....with who....well...that is something I am not sure about.....well....since noone will read this blog....so no one will know who is TMK.....and no one will ask who TMK is......let history come in to replace the present. No wonder today was a night of a difference........rarely see TMK wear in that way......so not usual....well....at that status....things are just different

Fruitful Week 24/29

2 Meal gathering. One on 24 Feb 2008 Dinner at Wakaru? Japanese restaurant(? ? ?) to have a short time of dinner. Although the main guest was unable to make it for Family commitment, still all had a great time. 3 FCBC including myself and another B.D = from another church. Rain. Haha.... Only my CGL was talking to Rain's friend = from adult network.....they seems to click quite well....or perhaps they found a common topic. Always interesting to hear people talk. Well for my side.....as I was un-conditioned for late nights 2 nights in the row....so a little tired....so does Rain too......just came down from Airshow. But in the end, though the food was a little too much for me.....the overall was good....at least managed to get some private time though.......5 minutes which is a lot......I think the 5 minutes we spoke a majority or the 1 hr plus there. Overall, it was a great time of catching up, in the end, no agenda fulfilled....but all thanks to God.

The second one, which spinned off from this previous one....was a surprise quick-speed to me. Like sunday just called Joanna.....then drop YP a msg....then like wednesday setting friday lunch.....very fast.....although in the end I seems to be the target board of all the questions....well, at least get to catch up with them, Joanna and YP. Hearing how's the working life in Govt. sector. So different from mine. Well I wonder did I let off too much info....not about myself. But about others.....but well...all are in safe hands for my future is in the hands of a all knowing God. Looks like there is quite a chance to have lunch together quite often. Now comes the control system part....how often....well....I guess once every month such be ok......though I still miss someone, 2 to be exact....one for 1 yr coming 2, the other since before Uni. Really hope to see both of them, in whom one is a teacher, the other is an accountant. Seems like I have some affinity/affilation/with opportunity with accountants. I already know like 8 accountants, using like 30 seconds of memory power. Well, what say who, who say where, and where say why, JYP..... Combined name. Crazy.......

In conclusion of both, there is just one very important thing that sums up both gathering....that is a daily pslams with a disciple to fast one meal a day really increase the enjoyment....coz all relationship evolves from the first relationship, relationship between God and Man. Thus, as reading Pslams daily, it really brings joys and comfort, with encouragement and strength to continue the days of trials, the days of faith. believing where God wants to place me. To Him, all glory and grace behold.