The 10 Most Irritating, Least Helpful Parenting Tips Ever.
by Redbook, on Fri Feb 4, 2011 7:39am PST
I have nothing against friends and family offering advice when you come to them with a dilemma. It's the people who pipe up, unbidden, because they see you with a child and assume you have no idea what you're doing. Too often these people are elderly great-aunts. Fortunately those ladies are afraid of the Internet, so I can rail against them and they'll be none the wiser! Thanks, ladies.
1. "Sleep now, because once that baby comes you'll never sleep again." Technically this is a pregnancy tip, of course, but I'm shoving it in here anyway. Yes, Great-Aunt Hildy, I will sleep throughout my entire third trimester. Because I am part bear.
2. "Sleep when the baby sleeps." Everyone gives you this one — annoying relatives, pediatricians, the cashier at the drugstore where you were buying newborn diapers. Are these people all robots, capable of instantly dropping off to sleep whenever their child is unconscious? Do they not have other things to do, like bathe, or simply relish the rare moments of silence you get when you have an infant?
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3. "I think your baby's hungry." Whether you're nursing or bottle-feeding, everyone assumes you don't know how to feed your child. And every time your child cries, whines, grimaces, or squirms, they are going to assume you are starving your poor baby and you need reminders to feed it. Lest you forget! This advice is especially maddening when they turn out to be correct.
4. "Relish every moment of your baby's first years, because they'll be grown before you know it." You mean, time only moves forward? I had no idea! I thought we'd be like this forever and ever! This sort of advice, obvious and innocuous as it seems, always put me on the defensive, as if I had just been carrying my baby under my arm like a football, muttering, "Grow up already, why don't you. Just GROW UP."
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5. "I hope you're sleep training that child. Do you WANT him to be spoiled?" Oh, distant relative/person whose aisle I shared at the supermarket, I'm so glad you know exactly my child needs. And that you know, from your years of scientific research, that any child not allowed to cry it out will be a horrible waste of flesh! (See #6 for this parenting tip's counterpart.)
6. "I hope you're not doing that 'crying it out' thing. It's so barbaric. Enjoy your baby all through the night!" Again, kudos to you, whoever you are, for knowing what's best for our unique family situation! I will be calling you at 4 a.m., so you can enjoy our baby as well.
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7. "Why are you bringing your child outside when it's so cold out?" It never ceased to amaze me that, no matter what my child's age, total strangers will express alarm and revulsion that I dared expose him to the elements. "And WHY ISN'T BE WEARING MITTENS? He's going to get consumption!"
8. "Your child isn't really sad/angry/injured. He's just manipulating you." There's no doubt that children can push our buttons as if they've had professional training in it, but the notion that my kid's authentic feelings are in fact manufactured to elicit a reaction really chaps my hide. If that were always true, he'd be a pint-sized sociopath. I'm pretty sure that's not the case.
Related: Read 7 Hilarious Tantrum Tales Here
9. "Schools are just glorified prisons. If you loved your child, you'd homeschool." Oh, if only I loved my child enough to abandon my livelihood, tear him away from the community he so enjoys, separate him from the professionals who have dedicated their careers to childhood education, and forced him to stay home all day with me, where we'd be at each other's throats for hours! If only! Please note: I am not opposed to homeschooling, at all — in fact I wish it would work for us, but it would not.
10. "If I were you, I'd just—" OH NO YOU DON'T. I know where this is going. Listen, unnamed distant acquaintance who last parented in the 19th century (it's true — I often get my unwanted advice from ghosts) you don't know diddly about my kid, and our relationship, and what works for us.
Quoted: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/the-10-most-irritating-least-helpful-parenting-tips-ever-2448391/
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Think a kiss is just a kiss? New book tells all
Think a kiss is just a kiss? New book tells all
Reuters - Saturday, February 12SendIM StoryPrint.By Elaine Lies
TOKYO - Ever wondered about the political uses of a kiss, the kiss's changing status or legendary movie kisses? Do you find yourself needing to say the word in Albanian, Icelandic or even, perchance, Maori?
Fear not. "A Compendium of Kisses," the guide to everything oscular -- that's "of or pertaining to kissing" for the unenlightened -- tells all about one of the world's most universal gestures, whether simple greeting or sublime.
"When I came to look at the kiss, the romantic side is such a small part of it," said British novelist and actress Lana Citron, who compiled the book.
"I love how when you're born, the first thing is, you're kissed, you're welcomed into the world. It's this little gesture that follows you throughout life, through all the most important parts of your life."
Citron's interest in kisses began with a short story she wrote a decade ago about a lonely woman who collected kisses in jars -- such as one for the lover who spurned her, one that was full of yearning -- and labeled them.
That led to her invitation to do an installation of kisses in jars, all labeled, as part of an art exhibition. The response of viewers sent her to the internet, searching out books on kisses and deciding to write her own when nothing seemed just right.
"It was almost like opening a Pandora's chest and just being overwhelmed by all the different ways a kiss is expressed, the meanings attached to it and the things it symbolizes," she said.
"I fell in love with it, I really did. I was submerged in the world of kisses for a year and came out of it with a book."
Her compendium mingles brief kiss anecdotes with kiss factoids and scraps of poetry to cover evolutionary kisses, bonding kisses, artful kisses, screen kisses, bike shed kisses or first kisses, passionate kisses, Kama Sutra kisses, animal kisses and even The Death Kiss, to name just a few.
She also traces the evolution of kissing through history, from its use in Christian religious ceremonies -- "greet ye one another with a kiss" -- to its social role as a greeting on many levels, including between kings and the vassals they ruled.
"Then the kiss suddenly becomes eroticized, also compounded by advances made in dentistry. Once it becomes eroticized, it also becomes highly contentious socially," she said.
While she finds it difficult to pick one favorite fact about kisses, Citron does acknowledge being fascinated about the use of kisses in politics and history, from its involvement in accusations about witchcraft down to the present day.
"Superficially, you have sex scandals, kiss and tell scandals, which many politicians fall prey to," she said.
Though most of the book is written in a tongue-in-cheek style, Citron becomes practical when asked for kissing advice.
"Basic hygiene, I think, is the only thing I'd say."
Quoted: http://sg.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20110212/tod-odd-us-books-kisses-odd-a929486.html
Reuters - Saturday, February 12SendIM StoryPrint.By Elaine Lies
TOKYO - Ever wondered about the political uses of a kiss, the kiss's changing status or legendary movie kisses? Do you find yourself needing to say the word in Albanian, Icelandic or even, perchance, Maori?
Fear not. "A Compendium of Kisses," the guide to everything oscular -- that's "of or pertaining to kissing" for the unenlightened -- tells all about one of the world's most universal gestures, whether simple greeting or sublime.
"When I came to look at the kiss, the romantic side is such a small part of it," said British novelist and actress Lana Citron, who compiled the book.
"I love how when you're born, the first thing is, you're kissed, you're welcomed into the world. It's this little gesture that follows you throughout life, through all the most important parts of your life."
Citron's interest in kisses began with a short story she wrote a decade ago about a lonely woman who collected kisses in jars -- such as one for the lover who spurned her, one that was full of yearning -- and labeled them.
That led to her invitation to do an installation of kisses in jars, all labeled, as part of an art exhibition. The response of viewers sent her to the internet, searching out books on kisses and deciding to write her own when nothing seemed just right.
"It was almost like opening a Pandora's chest and just being overwhelmed by all the different ways a kiss is expressed, the meanings attached to it and the things it symbolizes," she said.
"I fell in love with it, I really did. I was submerged in the world of kisses for a year and came out of it with a book."
Her compendium mingles brief kiss anecdotes with kiss factoids and scraps of poetry to cover evolutionary kisses, bonding kisses, artful kisses, screen kisses, bike shed kisses or first kisses, passionate kisses, Kama Sutra kisses, animal kisses and even The Death Kiss, to name just a few.
She also traces the evolution of kissing through history, from its use in Christian religious ceremonies -- "greet ye one another with a kiss" -- to its social role as a greeting on many levels, including between kings and the vassals they ruled.
"Then the kiss suddenly becomes eroticized, also compounded by advances made in dentistry. Once it becomes eroticized, it also becomes highly contentious socially," she said.
While she finds it difficult to pick one favorite fact about kisses, Citron does acknowledge being fascinated about the use of kisses in politics and history, from its involvement in accusations about witchcraft down to the present day.
"Superficially, you have sex scandals, kiss and tell scandals, which many politicians fall prey to," she said.
Though most of the book is written in a tongue-in-cheek style, Citron becomes practical when asked for kissing advice.
"Basic hygiene, I think, is the only thing I'd say."
Quoted: http://sg.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20110212/tod-odd-us-books-kisses-odd-a929486.html
Self
Are you the most important person in your life? If asked this question, our reaction is to respond with a strong, "No!" But if someone could observe all of our thoughts, actions and decisions we make throughout the day, I think the majority of us would be guilty of living for ourselves. We are so inclined to self-preservation that even the Bible tells us that true love is not self-seeking. In J.A.James's sermon, "The Great End of Life," he states that:
Self-love is the most active and reigning principle in fallen nature! Self is the great idol which mankind is naturally disposed to worship; and selfishness is the grand interest to which they are devotedly attached! Selfishness is contrary to the habitual temper of our Lord Jesus Christ. "For even Christ did not please Himself." The perfection of all virtue lies in unselfish love. The nearer we approach to this state of mind, the nearer we come to sinless moral excellence.
There must be less of us and more of God for us to fully experience the grace, blessings and mercies God has in store for us each day. Do you consider what you have to be more precious than what God can give you in all of His heavenly riches? God is waiting to give you more of Him so that you can experience the fullness of what life is meant to be. Would you lay down yourself today and ask for more of Him today?
Living Life
Self-love is the most active and reigning principle in fallen nature! Self is the great idol which mankind is naturally disposed to worship; and selfishness is the grand interest to which they are devotedly attached! Selfishness is contrary to the habitual temper of our Lord Jesus Christ. "For even Christ did not please Himself." The perfection of all virtue lies in unselfish love. The nearer we approach to this state of mind, the nearer we come to sinless moral excellence.
There must be less of us and more of God for us to fully experience the grace, blessings and mercies God has in store for us each day. Do you consider what you have to be more precious than what God can give you in all of His heavenly riches? God is waiting to give you more of Him so that you can experience the fullness of what life is meant to be. Would you lay down yourself today and ask for more of Him today?
Living Life
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