This is a one day delay...thus I am referring to what has happened yesterday.
Yesterday , I got a phone call....a low energy/low volume phone call....ask me to go out to be pei-ge....so since I have almost done most of what I need to do, so I agree. I was delayed in going out as I was watching Naruto....which quite interesting and addictive.....thus I didn't get to photocopy what I wanted to give Miss Chia....Sharon Chia Pei Yu... :)....potential partner, Biz and employer. So I went directly to Bugis as usual. As I was personally delayed, I was there 5 minute later than arranged time of 1545. This is due to the fact that I will need to walk from the bus stop I alighted to the arranged meeting place at the bus stop, bugis village. In the end I was early as Miss E has not arrived. So I waited for 15 minutes before going to Iluma to shop and for aircon. Thanks that I saw a Couple Lab there and managed to ask pricing, workmanship charges as according to the design I was looking at..
This is the inside of the ring design
This is the external of the ring design
The person who attended to me, after I briefed her about the requirement of the design, initially mentioned the limitation and can/can't but what comforts me is she mentioned she will ask her boss again.... that is nice of her service.....whether or not it is feasible
Thus after that...about 1615-30 I think, after my short tour on the Abode? shop on level 3, gift shop, Miss E arrived. So met up with her...so she do her rounds at 2nd level of Bugis Looking for bag, looking at clothes....asking me about how I view what type of fashion trend and clothes she would wear and not wear....also discussed about what type my ex and possible YP will....haha...talking about fashion...something I am interested to hear....and also honing my skills and senses.
After that, went off to Bugis Junction, I carry her bag with her netbook and my own book(usual weight) ...walking around in Bugis Junction. We went to the Silver ring at Lvl 1 escaltor.....No service until I asked for it...they only sold ring but no engravement service.....too bad.....the funny thing is we stood there for a while and no one serve us.....faintz...
Later she went to find out about wireless modem.....Starhub, Singtel and M1......exchanges our knowledge of the market share in Telecommunication...was surprised to know Wireless Modem that M1 may be a major market share...... the event that was the last straw/trigger after I didn't had a good night rest the night before... as we were looking at the M1 wireless plan....perhaps also due to the way I was apprehensive on the gift a wireless router for only a normal mobile wireless plan which affect the way I expressed myself. Thus for that, I was being treated with a raised voice which somehow it was piercing to my heart....not the ears. My emotions were stirred and it seems like the bubble within me has pierced and burst. It was not an easy feeling and I had to control myself and my emotion. It was just that short stint and it really affected me. How does it? After sending her off for her school, I took bus back....and I felt really drained....somehow I felt tired....my mind, body, emotion is all stirred and shaken. It all seems to be like a complusive reaction to a so familiar reaction. It all seems to be like in the past that I had encounter it before...Now it has returned to haunt me. I even missed my bus stop despite how much I tried to remember that my stop is nearing. Well it was seemingly a really tough night ahead for me. Thus I made all efforts to restore myself back....Restoration is the top priority. I tried to avoid...as I am still introverted...and tried to hide my emotions. I tried excuting measures that I know...talk, smile, encourage.....whatever tricks that I know to keep myself going. These are the times that I how I also wished that I were a girl, and then there was a shoulder for me to lean on and cry my heart out. By the truth, that is not and I still had to go through it.
God is still gracious and faithful. He is tender to those who are heart broken and attentive to those who are crying out to Him. He hears His People's cries and I thank God that He heard mine. He is faithful to restore me back to where I am now that I can have the energy, restored and being able to type this blog now, even part was done at home, part was done outside with my laptop with me, roaming around.
Looking back at the evening and doing an analysis of it, I have a couple of findings. Firstly, I still sense that Miss E, may still plays, in my view, plays a significant person in my life. And also how I react I believe also shows who she is to me in my prespective and also her weight within my heart. Perhaps it is the amount of brotherly love that I have for her. Perhaps it is the amount of time and effort I spent with her. Perhaps it is just human feelings responding to this. Also perhaps there is something installed for me and also me for her? No one knows until God reveals. That is the mystery and uniquenss of God. God just know us before we are borned because He is our creater and create us in His imagine. This situation has so much to speak of itself. It speaks of the how vunearable I am; how I see and handle such situation; rooms for improvement; issue to reflect upon; strength to reinforce; weakness to restructure and re-examine.
Second, it is how much I am still feel for Miss E. However that is quite a reflected thing in my life. And now I am still constantly looking for systems, litmus paper to test and still try. System that will help me realise myself and her too...the interaction.....purify and enable a better time always when we are together. At this moment, at her stage of life and my expectation and needs of my life, it is difficult and so difference. However at this very moment, I am quite sure of one thing which I had spoken to her mum and only God can change, because it is only God who can change her now: I will not marry her. I will treat her as my sister... Marry is Love. Sister is also about love. The only thing is my way of view the two aspect and how love is different is in the two aspect. It is still boils down to how I view how I would love a wife and a sister.
A wife: co-worker, life partner. Sister: Same Family. Will not be my wife. Thus perhaps this is the easiest way I can put it in words why. And I am just too lazy to fill up the explaination as there are so many things that are still uncertain and unsure; many more to learn. So if you wish to find out, you will have to find out from me. I have already listed out the list of qualitites that I wish to see in my future mate. And I will sort of stick to that to ease my selection process and place my faith that God will provide me the best one. Indeed I had to agree with Sharon Chia - I am someone who wish to marry...a person with marry in my dictionary. She isn't, Sharon isn't...she is a career woman. Well, she has just contribute another quality for me to ponder over: Interaction Communcation Engagment level and depth. ICEld in short...haha...that sums up most.
Recovery and restoration process...I managed to chat Miss E and my lab manager back in HK on MSN and FB...then just roaming around FB...commenting to people....sharing a bit of my feelings....that helps and is therauptic. It show the grace of God and also how much I can talk to Nat Siu, my lab manager in HK. Hahaha....how weird and yet so blessing....so in the end, I help her and assure her as much as I can and we chat via the CMI chat system of FB till 2am.....we started chatting when she asked me what happened when I posted a status on FB. : xxxx. I shared with her what I know about Wing....and how she can shock Eric Ho, assessor for ISO. We chat until she said she was too excited to sleep...haha...I offered to help her in LIS via remote control....so I see how it can be done. I tried to offer as much help as possible from where I am now....I do really miss Pik Yuk and the rest...and it warms my heart that they also miss me....I wish I could be back there to help out....I wish that the work permit was no an issue....well all these had to happen ...has to happen....For God is in control and He knows what is best for me. I only look forward in future to go back, at least once per year. We also chatted about friends.....expiry date of friendship and relationship......interesting way to describe friendship...expiry date...I like it and perhaps in future I will use that term in many ways.
In concluding words, I wish to pray that Miss E will grow and heal her wounds. Nat will pulled through, learn and grow from the situation....finally no need to scold everyday. I also wish to pray that my family that we can pull through this situation together. I also wish to pray for my dad for speedily recovery. My nephews and niece that they can be touched by God and be transformed to make the home a better place for their parents = my brother and sister-in-law. Also for the pregnant XR to take care and his husband Lionel. Pray also for Sharon to remain soft hearted and open and alert to arrival of Jesus at the door. In all, I just pray too for myself.....squeeze God hard and hold on to him in all situation.
Thus after that...about 1615-30 I think, after my short tour on the Abode? shop on level 3, gift shop, Miss E arrived. So met up with her...so she do her rounds at 2nd level of Bugis Looking for bag, looking at clothes....asking me about how I view what type of fashion trend and clothes she would wear and not wear....also discussed about what type my ex and possible YP will....haha...talking about fashion...something I am interested to hear....and also honing my skills and senses.
After that, went off to Bugis Junction, I carry her bag with her netbook and my own book(usual weight) ...walking around in Bugis Junction. We went to the Silver ring at Lvl 1 escaltor.....No service until I asked for it...they only sold ring but no engravement service.....too bad.....the funny thing is we stood there for a while and no one serve us.....faintz...
Later she went to find out about wireless modem.....Starhub, Singtel and M1......exchanges our knowledge of the market share in Telecommunication...was surprised to know Wireless Modem that M1 may be a major market share...... the event that was the last straw/trigger after I didn't had a good night rest the night before... as we were looking at the M1 wireless plan....perhaps also due to the way I was apprehensive on the gift a wireless router for only a normal mobile wireless plan which affect the way I expressed myself. Thus for that, I was being treated with a raised voice which somehow it was piercing to my heart....not the ears. My emotions were stirred and it seems like the bubble within me has pierced and burst. It was not an easy feeling and I had to control myself and my emotion. It was just that short stint and it really affected me. How does it? After sending her off for her school, I took bus back....and I felt really drained....somehow I felt tired....my mind, body, emotion is all stirred and shaken. It all seems to be like a complusive reaction to a so familiar reaction. It all seems to be like in the past that I had encounter it before...Now it has returned to haunt me. I even missed my bus stop despite how much I tried to remember that my stop is nearing. Well it was seemingly a really tough night ahead for me. Thus I made all efforts to restore myself back....Restoration is the top priority. I tried to avoid...as I am still introverted...and tried to hide my emotions. I tried excuting measures that I know...talk, smile, encourage.....whatever tricks that I know to keep myself going. These are the times that I how I also wished that I were a girl, and then there was a shoulder for me to lean on and cry my heart out. By the truth, that is not and I still had to go through it.
God is still gracious and faithful. He is tender to those who are heart broken and attentive to those who are crying out to Him. He hears His People's cries and I thank God that He heard mine. He is faithful to restore me back to where I am now that I can have the energy, restored and being able to type this blog now, even part was done at home, part was done outside with my laptop with me, roaming around.
Looking back at the evening and doing an analysis of it, I have a couple of findings. Firstly, I still sense that Miss E, may still plays, in my view, plays a significant person in my life. And also how I react I believe also shows who she is to me in my prespective and also her weight within my heart. Perhaps it is the amount of brotherly love that I have for her. Perhaps it is the amount of time and effort I spent with her. Perhaps it is just human feelings responding to this. Also perhaps there is something installed for me and also me for her? No one knows until God reveals. That is the mystery and uniquenss of God. God just know us before we are borned because He is our creater and create us in His imagine. This situation has so much to speak of itself. It speaks of the how vunearable I am; how I see and handle such situation; rooms for improvement; issue to reflect upon; strength to reinforce; weakness to restructure and re-examine.
Second, it is how much I am still feel for Miss E. However that is quite a reflected thing in my life. And now I am still constantly looking for systems, litmus paper to test and still try. System that will help me realise myself and her too...the interaction.....purify and enable a better time always when we are together. At this moment, at her stage of life and my expectation and needs of my life, it is difficult and so difference. However at this very moment, I am quite sure of one thing which I had spoken to her mum and only God can change, because it is only God who can change her now: I will not marry her. I will treat her as my sister... Marry is Love. Sister is also about love. The only thing is my way of view the two aspect and how love is different is in the two aspect. It is still boils down to how I view how I would love a wife and a sister.
A wife: co-worker, life partner. Sister: Same Family. Will not be my wife. Thus perhaps this is the easiest way I can put it in words why. And I am just too lazy to fill up the explaination as there are so many things that are still uncertain and unsure; many more to learn. So if you wish to find out, you will have to find out from me. I have already listed out the list of qualitites that I wish to see in my future mate. And I will sort of stick to that to ease my selection process and place my faith that God will provide me the best one. Indeed I had to agree with Sharon Chia - I am someone who wish to marry...a person with marry in my dictionary. She isn't, Sharon isn't...she is a career woman. Well, she has just contribute another quality for me to ponder over: Interaction Communcation Engagment level and depth. ICEld in short...haha...that sums up most.
Recovery and restoration process...I managed to chat Miss E and my lab manager back in HK on MSN and FB...then just roaming around FB...commenting to people....sharing a bit of my feelings....that helps and is therauptic. It show the grace of God and also how much I can talk to Nat Siu, my lab manager in HK. Hahaha....how weird and yet so blessing....so in the end, I help her and assure her as much as I can and we chat via the CMI chat system of FB till 2am.....we started chatting when she asked me what happened when I posted a status on FB. : xxxx. I shared with her what I know about Wing....and how she can shock Eric Ho, assessor for ISO. We chat until she said she was too excited to sleep...haha...I offered to help her in LIS via remote control....so I see how it can be done. I tried to offer as much help as possible from where I am now....I do really miss Pik Yuk and the rest...and it warms my heart that they also miss me....I wish I could be back there to help out....I wish that the work permit was no an issue....well all these had to happen ...has to happen....For God is in control and He knows what is best for me. I only look forward in future to go back, at least once per year. We also chatted about friends.....expiry date of friendship and relationship......interesting way to describe friendship...expiry date...I like it and perhaps in future I will use that term in many ways.
In concluding words, I wish to pray that Miss E will grow and heal her wounds. Nat will pulled through, learn and grow from the situation....finally no need to scold everyday. I also wish to pray that my family that we can pull through this situation together. I also wish to pray for my dad for speedily recovery. My nephews and niece that they can be touched by God and be transformed to make the home a better place for their parents = my brother and sister-in-law. Also for the pregnant XR to take care and his husband Lionel. Pray also for Sharon to remain soft hearted and open and alert to arrival of Jesus at the door. In all, I just pray too for myself.....squeeze God hard and hold on to him in all situation.
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