Beware Accounts! Beware Accounts! They are All MINE!

BEWARE! Articles posted under the catogery "Accounts" are deeper, more personal articles that are posted here for my own accountabilities. Thus no reference are to those articles. Although blog is a public domain, I beseech readers to take a responsible role to manage what you read. If you can handle that, just skip those articles under "Accounts" or perhaps you can teach me how to post but not allow people to read it unless with permission.... without making this blog totally private

Fantasy Flight Games

Sunday, November 20, 2005

A verse that started it all

DATE: 11/20/2005 07:01:34 PM

This is the verse that started it all, the verse that was given when I just came out of retrenchment and moving on with a new life. From a broken life that was led, a new life to be reborn. Just like the phoenix, set ablaze when it fades off and ends its life, but in the ashes of the remains, it births of new life and from the new life, with the ever present ability of its tears to heal, it is re-born, so CUTE! :)



Now the verse is found in Isaiah 30:15-26. a passage that was given my cell leader, in which was a great assurance and blessing to me, an encouragement for me to step forth in faith with the little faith that I have. As of like me, I will do a verse by verse analysis:



Verse 15- This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.



In the NASB version, instead of but you would have none of it, "But you were not willing". Unwillingness is the key factor that prevents one from receiving salvation and strength from the Lord. Without repentance and rest (upon on the Lord), where repentance here may refers to repentance from sin and rest is to seek rest in the Lord, where the home is in the heavens. From these two, where a taste of salvation can be received. Have none of quietness and trust and strength where it will not be drawn from the Lord. "Your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on me--(The Message) A simplified explaination of the verse. Where strength comes from settling down in complete dependence on God.



Strength and salvation are what the Lord offers in the beginning, however, in verse 16, something otherwise, You said, 'No, we will flee on horses.'
Therefore you will flee!
You said, 'We will ride off on swift horses.'
Therefore your pursuers will be swift!



Reluctance and unwillingness will lead in to the much easies thing to do - Flee or hide. Just like in Genesis 3:10 Adam answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid." As fast as we flee from the things that we try to avoid, the faster they seems to pursue. This is true due to the fact that it is not about the fleeing away from problems, personal problems, problem of life, but as they are all personal, it is in the person, within the person that they are found. Thus in the first place, how can one person flee from himself?



Not only will one person "tries" to flee from "himself", in verse 17: A thousand will flee at the threat of one; at the threat of five you will all flee away, till you are left like a flagstaff on a mountaintop, like a banner on a hill." Even in strength and with overwhelming odds over the enemies, they will still flee. Perhaps this may be due to the fact that fleeing is already a habit and they do not recognise the strength that is within them. And when the threat is increased, all, not any part left, will all flee. The extent of fleeing is full and complete and without left to be considered. What is only left that only the leftover, the footmarks, the "were" of whoever had being there. A lonely sight, a sight of saying " I was here". A flagstaff, to signify the presence of an army. But witn only a flagstaff left, it either means the army was defeated or it fleed/retreated. In Exodus 17:15:-Moses built an altar and called it The LORD is my Banner.



All these are said to reflect the situation of fleeing aimlessly and instinctively, and like fighting the war alone, with just the flagstaff, with the banner alone. This it may be, however God is God and for he is gracious and there is a "yet".





v18: Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
he rises to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!



Despite all the fleeing and everything, God is still gracious. Not only that, he long to be gracious. He is one who is gracious and yearns to be gracious. In the Message, "GOD takes the time to do everything right--everything", in NLT "For the LORD is a faithful God". Blessed are all who wait for him. Blessed are those whose faith are upon him. In this verse, it show God's desire and the beginning of his promise. It shows how gracious God is, despite all, he still loves his people. How wonderful that God is so willing to take time to do everything right for us, for people that is sometimes lack of faith, that is so worthy. It is just so marvellous and assuring to know the Lord is a faithful God and he makes an effort to do things right.



More to come even after v18 which as come to v19:



O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. Weeping can be of joy or of pain. But I believe in this context, it is of pain. The Lord here have heard the cries of his people. Cry for help, cry of whatever of life, for all these now, you will no more. No only then we will cry no more, but he will be gracious when we cry for help. Furthermore, as perhaps "his angels hear them", he will answer you. This has great implication that God will reply once he gets the message, and since he will be there when you cry out for help, that may also means that he will answer you immediately in some context. God will no longer be one that is so far away, but one that is no longer hidden. This is how our God's grace will be even we choose to flee from him in the first place. That is how great His love for us be. :)



More better things in v20: Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them.(NIV)



In the MSG version- Just as the Master kept you alive during the hard times, he'll keep your teacher alive and present among you. Your teacher will be right there, local and on the job.



Not enough that The Lord provides the food that our spirit man needs to go through tough times of life, or just to be-lieve on a life in Christ, our teacher, the holy spirit is one we can see now, seeing meaning available, right there and on the job with us doing with us.



Furthermore, the Lord does not only stop there. In v21:Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." (NIV)



No only my teacher is visible, he is audible. Whichever the way we go, his voice will be the guide.



There can be 2 immediate interpretation of this verse alone. One is regardless of which direction one chooses in line to turn to, God's voice will be there. The other interpretation is that God's voice will direct which way is the correct way regardless of whether we are turning right or left, or not sure of which way to go. The voice behind also means that he is always there supporting and we has to take the lead, take the initiative and be at the forefront of it.



When all the above promise are proclaimed and believed, in verse 22: Then you will defile your idols overlaid with silver and your images covered with gold; you will throw them away like a menstrual cloth and say to them, "Away with you!"



In NSAB version: And you will defile your graven images overlaid with silver, and your molten images plated with gold You will scatter them as an impure thing, and say to them, "Be gone!"



In NLT version: Then you will destroy all your silver idols and gold images. You will throw them out like filthy rags. "Ugh!" you will say to them. "Begone!"



My initial understanding is the revealing of things unpure in one's life. But it is more than that. It is recognising them and start throwing them out of one's life. The idols in one's life, the images that one have place upon oneself, as they are trampled over once God reign in one's life. Thrown away after descrating them, and not re-using them again. For away they will leave and no expectation to return.



After taking away the idols of one's life, having a close relationship with the Holy spirit of guidance, there are even more exciting blessing coming along in which from v23-26, I at this moment only understand what does v23 means personally.



In v23: He will also send you rain for the seed you sow in the ground, and the food that comes from the land will be rich and plentiful. In that day your cattle will graze in broad meadows. (NIV)



The seeds that we sow, it depends a number of factor for it to grow. Firstly is the soil condition in which I will not elaborate here as it is well explained in the parable of the sower. The other is rain is need to provide water to the seed. Also water may in some case, be the activating component for the seed to start germinating. These seed may represent the seeds sow into people hearts. Not only after that, the food, the harvest after that will be plentiful and rich. Rich, perhaps in this case in in terms of the quality and re-emphasizing the quanitity of the harvest. The other view is the amount of food avaible to feed those who will in time feed on them. Not only the harvest is rich and plentiful, it is wide and far, just like the broad meadows. Clear pastures, clear view of the sun and the moon. Clear view of the horizon.



This passage is really the passage the so describe my life at that moment of time. Week 15 that I started to investigate into it. Just days after I decided and returned to church after 1 month of losing sight of my objective, burden by pain, failures and bondage, perhaps curses too. But now I can say one important thing, this verse is really true in my life and God is more real to me than before. He will fulfil promise and I begin to believe and be-living in his promise.



Friday, November 18, 2005

The 3 mistakes that I have made

DATE: 11/18/2005 10:22:04 AM

It has being a while that I have yet to post a spiritual blog;....guess I have not being that spiritual as before.....do you believe in that?.



This is just for myself to account for the 3 mistake that I believe are mistake that I have made and will be accountable to me and myself. They are things that I should not have done and should not do in the first place. However, they are already done and hereby, I record them down so that I will be able to keep a record, a document that I know what I have done and how much I am ready to face the situation.



1. Apr 2005 - Here is where all it begins. Just with a thought to know that person more, CSI, an action of just trying to bless, but I know I should not and try to control but failed to. Guess the failure to do so really hurts abit and shaken things abit, especially only days after my comeback from spiritual retrenchment. Just a simple act of trying to give pandols could mean so much to me....just how much and deep rooted the problem is that I may have forgotten most of it already. Now it is the time to resurface them to meet new challenges ahead, a new calling and to a new level of faith and service. That was also the time that I first ever though of stalking someone, after almost 7years, other 2 other people.



2. Sep19 2005 BBQ. Another stupid mistake by me, adding a very simple word which is just "always". A word that just come out so fluent, acting out, or of truth in mind. Regardless of which reason, the situation ahead seems different, from my own point of view. Or perhaps nothing have changed in the first place. But just I have being too sensitive. Am I just as always, picking on someone?



3.Last of the 3, the most prevailing one, and also the one that really shock me up thinking, am I out of control of the situation already? Stalking thought as usual, now coupled even worse, a type of feeling that I have not really ready to handle....something that was new to my life this 3-5 years, jealousy. Before that, I have never had really such issue. Perhaps I was so broken that the word does not even apply to me. But now, in a different situation and status, perhaps, me afraid to lose again, some sort of jealously have arised. Perhaps the words does not encompass the whole meaning of the current situation, but just plain fact that I am not ready for it. Or perhaps I should abandon the whole idea totally?



Anyway, mistakes are just moment of time where God can still move. As long as one is willing to be changed by God. For it is all these mistakes that I have made that make me so unique from the rest, haa haa UNIQUE. For Christ is whom defines me, and his way is which pings me, and his love is what assures me. As a quote I remember, a unreflected life is a life not worthy of going through. As i spare the limited time that I have to reflect upon my life, I realise God's grace and provision upon me. In all the mistakes I made, God is still there always. And even now, HE is always there, was and will always be.


-----

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

It's coming again, all over again with 3

DATE: 11/16/2005 11:01:50 PM

It is coming and it has come. Perhaps in the first place it should not even exist but it seemingly exist. It may be a flicker of my imagination, of the mind that is trying to overpower the heart, make the heart "think" the way the mind. Or it could be just calling that now is the things to get things settled.



Just a day before my first paper of the semester and 7months since I am back in business, the attacks of the mind is getting stronger and stronger. It has come to the sense that I now doubt, whether in the first place, I may have made a wrong decision to just wanna to find out more about the person. Now I am in a situation that I feel that I have already achieved what I reached out, what I set out for, but why am I still holding on. That is not good. I am not focus on the objective that I have set up and deviating from the things that I should be considering to be in place. But anyway, these are also the times that I do serious reflection. Time that forces me to think deep, force me to re-think my actions and my way of thoughts. Also it test my faith and will of choice. Easily I could just flee, but I wonder why did I stay on. Why did i so called stay on to continue "torturing" myself in such situation. But I realise that without me going through it now, I will have to face it in a later part of my life. Thus sooner or later, I still have to face it and the situation, circumstance will be different from now. Thus, this time round, I wish to do it well, at least know that I have walked the path faithfully and leave the rest to God whom will be in control of all things.



The second thing that I will leave a note here is regarding the issue of stalking. It is the 3rd time round I found myself guilty of it. And still I don't fully understand or fully accept the fact or the truth. I remember what my cell leader told me that somethings human are just so simply need so many lesson to learn a lesson. With this remark, I ponder whether am I too, guilty of it and takes a few occasion to make me able to learn and intergrate the lesson into my life??? Puzzling it may be, but it is true. There are somethings in my life that still the Lord to teach and guide me. Blind spots they are called by some, as they are blind to the person who have them. Nevertheless, God is still gracious and merciful as HE will send people, brother and sister in christ, speaking through them and reveal the blind spots of my life. This is not to disgrace or disvalue me, but with the ultimate purpose that I will know HIM more, allow me to change to the person that God have intended in his plan for me, for the service to his kingdom. For one have said, it take easy to remain silent, but hard to "rebuke" constructively.



Ultimately, I still hold on to 2 truth. One from 1 Corinthians 1:4-9(NIV) :



I always thanks God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. For in in him you have been enriched in every way - in all your speaking and in all your knowledge- because our testimony about Christ was confirmed in you. Therefore you dod not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. HE will keep you strong till to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.



2 from 2 Corinthians 2:3-7 (NIV):



Praise be to God and Father of our Lord JEsus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves haver received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patien endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just a syou share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.



2 passages that although I have not really followed up every often for the past 4 years, but they are two passages among the few that I will hold on.................the 2 passage that I will use to testify for baptism, may they be.


-----

Thursday, November 10, 2005

A seemingly similiar but different exams

DATE: 11/10/2005 05:20:52 PM

It looks like a very similiar situation as before, as of last semester. Reading week and here I am, mugging in library. With thoughts and interest that seems the same as before, however, there are some difference I believe since then and now. There is a greener and clear vision of what to do now, with what objective to set and what are the boundaries that are there. However, within such situation, there is still always a God that is always in control. At this point, there are a couple of observation that are different, which I will try my best to elaborate on them as I remember.



1. Cell groups is going through a tranformation, a time of challenge and a time of building up in faith of one voice. There is a deeper calling for everyone to work closer and more united, in a community in tune with the calling of God in mind of all that will come about. Although the roles are being spelt out, I believe since the recent prayer meeting, there seems to be something still lacking, a level of a different that is the gap between what we wish to do and what we hope to achieve. However, I believe with all my heart that God is always and will be in control and will speak clear to everyone in the cell group. The only question in mind that I have is for God, what do I need to do now and what role and aspect do I play in such a progress. Well these are just thought swhich I dun think anyone will know as noone will read this blog. Thus, I could safely say this, I really want to see some change, united in spirit and to see God move powerfully in the cell group. And also, I dun really wish to do it seemingly alone with the preception that I am alone in this. It is tough unless I know clearly that God is in the mist and I am being called clearly for it. OH GOD !!!!



2.The very strange question to ask myself, am I indifferent now or I am just merely suppressing it. Or I am afraid to admit the truth or I have not yet surrenderred it? Does missing someone means anything? There are question that are remained unanswered and remain questioned, but however, there is a difference now. There is a change of priority and there is a clear goal in mind to walk towards. That is an area of ministry. I believe and will continue to believe that God will speak to me clearly when I have continued to perserve now till next semester, continously listening to HIM and learning to obey HIM. As like a blind man without sight should not lead another blind man, for me, I should hear and see God's instruction and move in according to his instruciton with full faith and openess that he is in control and all-knowing with the heart giving the best for me. Although it may remain incomprehensible, unclear and this moment, persist in the promise that God has given and not stride astray. Now with more people knowing who the person is, perhaps due to myself, well, now I must have created such an outcome for myself to bear with.





Luke 11:35-36 (NIV) See to it, then the light within you is not darkness. Therefore, if your whole body is full of light, and no part of it dark, it will be completely lighted, as when the light of a lamp shines on you.



Happy mugger exam