5 things that keep you from settling down
By Julie H. Case
Disney movies bring us romantic tales of glass slippers and coma-reviving kisses. Hollywood shows us we’ll be so overwhelmed we won’t be able to resist it. Our friends say, “When it’s right, you’ll just know.” And yet, years into a relationship, many men and women haven’t a clue whether they are dating the person they should make their spouse... or just another great someone.
For many of us, falling in love — and deciding that yes, this time it’s meant to last forever — is not as easy as it seems.
It’s easy to get stuck in relationship limbo...
“I always thought I’d have this magical moment where I would meet someone and there’d be this instant clicking and we would literally be married six months later,” says Katja, a D.C.-based program manager for the Department of State while referring to her long-term boyfriend, Rob. “I never, ever thought I’d be the girl that was dating the guy for six years and going nowhere,” she admits.
It’s not that there’s a lot wrong with Rob. Quite the opposite, in fact. “He’s the person I’ve been waiting to meet forever,” Katja says. “We have tons in common; I’ve never gotten bored of him.” And yet, Katja remains seriously into her boyfriend, but maybe not enough to marry him.
So, what keeps so many seemingly smart men and women from deciding that the person they’re with is The One?
1. Your list of “must-haves” for a romantic partner is unattainable
One of the biggest sticking points for people, says counseling psychologist Dr. Linda Young, is having a long list of characteristics that are considered essential for both a partner and the relationship. This lengthy list of essentials can be self-defeating, since it’s unlikely you’ll meet anyone who meets every requirement on that list.
“People have a lot of difficulty accepting a person or a relationship that is good enough,” says Young. By good enough, Young does not mean settling. She means recognizing someone who shares your values and characteristics.
After spending all our 20s and parts of our 30s hearing, “I can have it all!” we can’t help but believe that means the whole pie, perfection à la mode, no compromising. Few potential mates, it seems, can measure up to such standards. Or, more succinctly, a lot of people have become too picky, and too picky has become the standard.
“We expect so much from ourselves at work; we expect a lot from ourselves even recreationally,” says Young. “We rank and rate everything, especially since the Internet has become the norm — and we rank partners, even — without realizing that something can be good enough without being 95 percent of what we want.”
2. You’re unwilling to compromise in relationships
Many of us don’t focus hard enough (or long enough) on what makes a relationship truly satisfying and sustainable over a lifetime. Being more forgiving of a partner’s faults or more flexible about another person’s annoying habits may be difficult, but the ability to compromise matters. Instead, many of us are looking to wherever the grass appears to be greener.
Love, it seems, has torn a page out of the economics textbook. It’s a classic case of maximizers versus satisfiers. Maximizers are always looking for the newest and best thing available. If, one thinks, I stop looking for the best possible option, if I accept this person’s flaws, I won’t have the best partner I could possibly have.
Those are the people who might have trouble committing to anything, says Young, “whether it’s a house, a stereo or a person, because they are constantly looking for ways to tweak it — to make it better.”
On the other hand, the satisfier is someone who recognizes the things that make something — or someone — great, and doesn’t keep looking for something bigger or better.
3. You’re afraid of intimacy
The other challenge for many may be in letting another person in. After spending much of our 20s and early 30s building a career, honoring the idea that it’s important to be successful and dating with the knowledge that most relationships will end, we build up a defense mechanism. When we finally decide we do want to settle down, we have to take down the walls we’ve built up. “One of the ways we protect ourselves is to learn how to not go all in, and then when you want to get married you have to figure out how to go all in,” says Young.
Take, for example, Katja and Rob. Both are incredibly independent people, Katja most of all. That love of independence might be hindering their progression as a couple. “It gets in the way of my relationships sometimes,” Katja says, a twinge of regret cutting through her laugh.
And all that independence can lead to some serious indecision, which is something Laurel from Seattle, WA, knows a thing or two about. Seven years into her relationship, she wondered if her boyfriend was husband material. So, how did Laurel decide that he was The One?
“I spent some time imagining my life without him,” says Laurel, “and I didn’t like it one bit.” Now, eight years into her marriage, the 42-year-old and her husband are trying for a second child.
Deciding you’d rather be with someone than without is a good, realistic place to start. It’s also important to figure out what the few, really critical criteria are in choosing a potential mate — such as religion or a shared culture. In the end, it’s values that matter, not attributes.
4. You pick partners that share your interests, but not your values and goals
Young admits she’s fascinated by online dating profiles, where many people list “important traits” that are actually things they themselves prefer to do: “Must like hiking. Must enjoy ska music. Must love long walks on the beach at sunset.” Young points out that “those things are not very important when it comes down to a long-term, satisfying relationship. The really important stuff is how your basic character traits and personality features complement each other, and where you are similar on the things that matter most to you. You really need to know what your values are before you can know if someone else shares them.”
Shared fundamental values — from the way you express affection, to religion, to how you handle responsibility or are accountable to others — are the most important criteria.
People tend to discount how much these values matter, argues Young. Daters say that honesty is important, but then other things they want — not value, but want — get in the way of making good decisions. If you’re single and you find someone charming, confident and successful, then suddenly the characteristics that make a relationship work come in a distant second.
And, she says, don’t dismiss physical chemistry if you’re looking for the Americanized version of love, which includes a lifetime of romance. Yes, physical attraction can grow over time, but if you have none to begin with it’s not going to manifest itself over time. You can’t construct something out of nothing.
5. You believe there’s only one soul mate out there waiting for you
“I think some people still have this fantasy notion that there’s going to be just one Mr. or Ms. Right. So when they have someone they’ve been with who displays many of these characteristics and they get along just fine together, these daters still think, ‘well, it doesn’t feel magical, like having a soul mate is supposed to feel’,” says Young. “It’s not always going to feel that way.”
But, she argues, by taking a good look at your own place in the world and your values, you can recognize whether you’re dating the person you’re going to stay with long-term — or simply dating around.
Julie H. Case is a freelance writer based in Seattle. Her work has appeared in magazines such as Sunset, Alaska Airlines Magazine and Wired.
Quoted: http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=11523&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=723940
Monday, January 31, 2011
Love Conquers All
You are greatly loved. You are greatly loved by the Creator of the heavens and the earth, the God of all majesty. How much of this truth are you aware of when you are serving the body of Christ? Christ's love gives us strength to overcome the hardest of trials because we know that He works for our good and has plans to prosper us and not to harm us. In Daniel's life, we see that he was very much aware of this truth. Despite being thrown into the lion's den or having visions that made him sick because it foreshadowed the antichrist succeeding in the destruction of the saints (Daniel 8:24), Daniel still carried himself as a man strengthened by the Lord. This image of Daniel, according to John Piper, is the image of those who serve in the church. "That is the way it is in ministry. From one day to the next, the news changes. Some hits home so close it makes you sick. Some is global and makes the heart tremble. But we press on in the work we are given to do. How can we do this? One way is to know that we are "greatly loved." Do you know that your are greatly loved? Lift up a prayer and ask God to reveal His amazing love to you today.
Living Life
Living Life
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Quote
If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place. ————不去追逐你所渴求，你将永远不会拥有。不开口问，回答永远是No。不往前走，就将永远停留。转载
Saturday, January 29, 2011
What Causes Cancer? 7 Strange Cancer Claims Explained
What Causes Cancer? 7 Strange Cancer Claims Explained
By Megan Johnson, US News
Wed, Jan 26, 2011
Bras, deodorant, and mouthwash—just a few of the everyday products that have been linked to cancer at some point during the past several decades. Preposterous? Not at the time, and new suspects have been added to the list. The following slides reveal the real story behind ordinary household items that have come under scrutiny.
Artificial Sweeteners
The link: Calorie watchers scored a win when diet sodas were introduced in the early 1950s. Then lab studies suggested that the sweetener cyclamate caused bladder cancer in rats, and the U.S. Food and Drug Administration banned its use. Then saccharin, the replacement of choice, was also shown to cause tumors in rats. Although saccharin was never banned, all products containing the sweetener were required to carry a cancer warning on their packaging.
The reality: No evidence has since emerged that either cyclamate, which is used in other countries, or saccharin causes cancer in humans, according to the National Cancer Institute. Although cyclamate is still banned, saccharin was taken off the government's list of possible carcinogens in 2000, the same year in which saccharin products shed the warning label. The sweetener aspartame has come under suspicion, but scientists have found no increased risk of cancer in humans.
Mouthwash
The link: A handful of studies since the late '70s have tied mouthwash that contains ethanol to oral cancer. Investigators theorize that it may make oral tissues more vulnerable to known carcinogens, such as those in cigarettes.
The reality: The evidence against mouthwash is weak, according to the American Dental Association. Studies don't show, for example, that brands with higher alcohol content present a greater risk than those with lesser amounts. Mouthwash is safe when used as directed, says the ADA, which, depending on the product, may mean swishing once or twice daily and not swallowing. People who smoke, have a family history of oral cancer, or have other risk factors may want to choose alcohol-free brands to be on the safe side, the ADA says.
Statins
The link: Could these cholesterol-lowering drugs raise the risk of cancer? A 2007 study inspired this belief when researchers investigating the side effects of certain statins—lovastatin, simvastatin, pravastatin, fluvastatin, and atorvastatin—found that participants taking high doses were more likely to be diagnosed with various cancers, including those of the breast, colon, and prostate.
The reality: A 2008 review of 15 clinical trials involving statins cast doubt on the initial results; low LDL cholesterol levels, the reviewers found, were associated with cancer, whether or not participants were taking statins, suggesting that cholesterol levels, not the drugs, were to blame. "This study should reassure those taking statins that they are not increasing their risk of cancer by trying to reduce their risk of cardiovascular disease," senior author Richard Karas of Boston's Tufts University School of Medicine said in a statement. A separate review of research involving roughly 170,000 participants found no link between statins and cancer.
Cell Phones
The link: In 1993, a man suing the manufacturer of his wife's mobile phone claimed on Larry King Live that the device was responsible for her brain cancer. The broadcast provoked a public outcry, a rash of similar lawsuits, and millions of dollars poured into studying whether radio waves emitted by cell phones could be harmful.
The reality: The largest study to date, published in 2010, could neither confirm nor dismiss a connection between cell phones and cancer. Scientists tracked nearly 13,000 adults for a decade and found a slightly higher rate of one of four cancers—gliomas, a particularly aggressive variety of brain cancer—among frequent cell users. But cell users overall had a lower rate of the cancers than never-users. Participants gave their own estimates of how much time they spent talking, which may have muddied the results. Researchers have now embarked on an even larger study in Europe.
Antiperspirant and Deodorant
The link: A decade ago, an E-mail warning women that using antiperspirant could cause breast cancer went viral. Since then, some research has suggested that aluminum in antiperspirants and preservatives called parabens in both antiperspirants and deodorants mimic the hormone estrogen, which in high amounts can increase a woman's breast cancer risk.
The reality: There is no evidence that antiperspirants or deodorants cause cancer. Although a 2004 study heightened concern when researchers found parabens in breast cancer tissue samples, suggesting the chemicals may have caused the tumors, the investigators did not check for the presence of parabens in healthy tissue. Evidence suggests that 99 percent of us are exposed to parabens from numerous sources, including various cosmetics and foods, according to the American Cancer Society. Little evidence indicates they may be harmful. The organization says more study is needed to be certain that there is no risk. A 2002 study of hundreds of women with and without breast cancer, found no sign the antiperspirants or deodorants upped cancer risk.
Bras
The link: Women got a shock in 1995 when "Dressed to Kill," written by a husband and wife team of medical anthropologists, alleged that those who regularly wore bras had a much higher risk of cancer than women who didn't wear them. They theorized that bras promote the buildup of cancer-causing toxins in the breast.
The reality: Experts stress that a link between bras and breast cancer has never been proven. Considerable evidence points to other variables affecting a woman's risk of breast cancer, such as weight, age, and family history. Women who don't wear bras tend to weigh less or have less dense breast tissue, both of which reduce breast cancer risk. Those factors alone, according to the American Cancer Society, "would probably contribute to any perceived difference in risk."
Hair Dye
The link: In 2008 researchers from the World Health Organization's International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) revived concern of a hair dye-cancer connection after finding a pattern of bladder cancer in male hairdressers and barbers. They found too little evidence to say whether people who used the products every so often at home were also at risk.
The reality: The IARC finding was based on studies conducted at different times, so any increased risk could result from heavy exposure to chemicals that were discontinued decades ago after scientists discovered they caused cancer in rodents. It's unclear whether the chemicals used in current dyes cause cancer, according to the National Cancer Institute. Most evidence, however, does not support a link.
Quoted: http://health.yahoo.net/articles/cancer/what-causes-cancer-7-strange-cancer-claims-explained
By Megan Johnson, US News
Wed, Jan 26, 2011
Bras, deodorant, and mouthwash—just a few of the everyday products that have been linked to cancer at some point during the past several decades. Preposterous? Not at the time, and new suspects have been added to the list. The following slides reveal the real story behind ordinary household items that have come under scrutiny.
Artificial Sweeteners
The link: Calorie watchers scored a win when diet sodas were introduced in the early 1950s. Then lab studies suggested that the sweetener cyclamate caused bladder cancer in rats, and the U.S. Food and Drug Administration banned its use. Then saccharin, the replacement of choice, was also shown to cause tumors in rats. Although saccharin was never banned, all products containing the sweetener were required to carry a cancer warning on their packaging.
The reality: No evidence has since emerged that either cyclamate, which is used in other countries, or saccharin causes cancer in humans, according to the National Cancer Institute. Although cyclamate is still banned, saccharin was taken off the government's list of possible carcinogens in 2000, the same year in which saccharin products shed the warning label. The sweetener aspartame has come under suspicion, but scientists have found no increased risk of cancer in humans.
Mouthwash
The link: A handful of studies since the late '70s have tied mouthwash that contains ethanol to oral cancer. Investigators theorize that it may make oral tissues more vulnerable to known carcinogens, such as those in cigarettes.
The reality: The evidence against mouthwash is weak, according to the American Dental Association. Studies don't show, for example, that brands with higher alcohol content present a greater risk than those with lesser amounts. Mouthwash is safe when used as directed, says the ADA, which, depending on the product, may mean swishing once or twice daily and not swallowing. People who smoke, have a family history of oral cancer, or have other risk factors may want to choose alcohol-free brands to be on the safe side, the ADA says.
Statins
The link: Could these cholesterol-lowering drugs raise the risk of cancer? A 2007 study inspired this belief when researchers investigating the side effects of certain statins—lovastatin, simvastatin, pravastatin, fluvastatin, and atorvastatin—found that participants taking high doses were more likely to be diagnosed with various cancers, including those of the breast, colon, and prostate.
The reality: A 2008 review of 15 clinical trials involving statins cast doubt on the initial results; low LDL cholesterol levels, the reviewers found, were associated with cancer, whether or not participants were taking statins, suggesting that cholesterol levels, not the drugs, were to blame. "This study should reassure those taking statins that they are not increasing their risk of cancer by trying to reduce their risk of cardiovascular disease," senior author Richard Karas of Boston's Tufts University School of Medicine said in a statement. A separate review of research involving roughly 170,000 participants found no link between statins and cancer.
Cell Phones
The link: In 1993, a man suing the manufacturer of his wife's mobile phone claimed on Larry King Live that the device was responsible for her brain cancer. The broadcast provoked a public outcry, a rash of similar lawsuits, and millions of dollars poured into studying whether radio waves emitted by cell phones could be harmful.
The reality: The largest study to date, published in 2010, could neither confirm nor dismiss a connection between cell phones and cancer. Scientists tracked nearly 13,000 adults for a decade and found a slightly higher rate of one of four cancers—gliomas, a particularly aggressive variety of brain cancer—among frequent cell users. But cell users overall had a lower rate of the cancers than never-users. Participants gave their own estimates of how much time they spent talking, which may have muddied the results. Researchers have now embarked on an even larger study in Europe.
Antiperspirant and Deodorant
The link: A decade ago, an E-mail warning women that using antiperspirant could cause breast cancer went viral. Since then, some research has suggested that aluminum in antiperspirants and preservatives called parabens in both antiperspirants and deodorants mimic the hormone estrogen, which in high amounts can increase a woman's breast cancer risk.
The reality: There is no evidence that antiperspirants or deodorants cause cancer. Although a 2004 study heightened concern when researchers found parabens in breast cancer tissue samples, suggesting the chemicals may have caused the tumors, the investigators did not check for the presence of parabens in healthy tissue. Evidence suggests that 99 percent of us are exposed to parabens from numerous sources, including various cosmetics and foods, according to the American Cancer Society. Little evidence indicates they may be harmful. The organization says more study is needed to be certain that there is no risk. A 2002 study of hundreds of women with and without breast cancer, found no sign the antiperspirants or deodorants upped cancer risk.
Bras
The link: Women got a shock in 1995 when "Dressed to Kill," written by a husband and wife team of medical anthropologists, alleged that those who regularly wore bras had a much higher risk of cancer than women who didn't wear them. They theorized that bras promote the buildup of cancer-causing toxins in the breast.
The reality: Experts stress that a link between bras and breast cancer has never been proven. Considerable evidence points to other variables affecting a woman's risk of breast cancer, such as weight, age, and family history. Women who don't wear bras tend to weigh less or have less dense breast tissue, both of which reduce breast cancer risk. Those factors alone, according to the American Cancer Society, "would probably contribute to any perceived difference in risk."
Hair Dye
The link: In 2008 researchers from the World Health Organization's International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) revived concern of a hair dye-cancer connection after finding a pattern of bladder cancer in male hairdressers and barbers. They found too little evidence to say whether people who used the products every so often at home were also at risk.
The reality: The IARC finding was based on studies conducted at different times, so any increased risk could result from heavy exposure to chemicals that were discontinued decades ago after scientists discovered they caused cancer in rodents. It's unclear whether the chemicals used in current dyes cause cancer, according to the National Cancer Institute. Most evidence, however, does not support a link.
Quoted: http://health.yahoo.net/articles/cancer/what-causes-cancer-7-strange-cancer-claims-explained
Dating insights from the opposite sex
Dating insights from the opposite sex
By Andrea Barbalich
When it comes to dating advice, women usually turn to their girlfriends, while guys seek out their more-evolved buddies. But who is better at giving the inside scoop on the opposite sex than… the opposite sex? We tracked down five pairs of platonic friends and asked: What was the best piece of dating advice you got from each other? Enlightening answers lie ahead!
Jill and Kevin’s advice: Keep things real
“The best thing my friend Kevin ever told me is that it’s very important to do ‘everyday life’ things with my date early on. Instead of always having plans (like going to dinner or the theater), just have a day of doing errands or going to the grocery store. You’ll learn quickly whether he is a helpful guy or not.”
— Jill, 42, managing director of an asset-management firm, Litchfield, CT
“Jill is constantly reminding me that you have to look below the surface to find something great. In fact, she is pretty blunt. She says, ‘Stop looking at anything superficial, including her figure.’”
— Kevin, 42, investment banker, New York City
Bryan and Nancy’s advice: Let chemistry guide you
“Bryan’s best advice? That moving too quickly with guys can be a deal-killer. Try to be light and breezy on dates without backing him into a corner to find out how he feels about you, the relationship, or where things are headed.”
— Nancy, 43, loan officer, Stoneham, MA
“Nancy’s motto is, ‘If you don’t feel it, don’t fake it.’ When it’s right, it’s right, she always tells me, and if there’s no chemistry, you just need to accept it and move forward.”
— Bryan, 38, portfolio manager, Dorchester, MA
Audrey and Jim’s advice: Maintain some perspective
“Jim says to ask yourself: Does this person value the same things you value? Do you want similar things out of life? At the end of the day, that’s what counts.”
— Audrey, 31, writer, Washington, D.C.
“Audrey reminds me that you need to give your dates the benefit of the doubt. It’s very easy when something comes up to just assume the worst about the other person, but try turning that around and assuming the best instead.”
— Jim, 32, physical therapist, De Forest, WI
Patrick and Sheila’s advice: Take charge of your own love life
“Patrick always says you should change your scenery by going to different places. If you want to find somebody you’re compatible with, go to a place where you can be yourself, relax and have fun.”
— Sheila, 25, magazine editor, River Vale, NJ
“Sheila’s words of wisdom? You just need to be decisive. The little games people play, like waiting three days or five days before you call, forget it. If you’re going to pursue someone, put all that to the side and go for it!”
— Patrick, 25, real-estate manager, Crestwood, NY
Lowell and Allegra’s advice: Keeping things light helps love bloom
“My friend Lowell says you need to give things time. I will complain that a guy is being a jerk and he’ll say, ‘Yeah, he is, but give him space. Let things be for a bit, and they’ll probably work themselves out.’ That advice has served me well!”
— Allegra, 25, public relations director, New York City
“The best advice Allegra gave me is to find someone who makes me laugh — and make the other person laugh as much as possible, too.”
— Lowell, 26, student, Los Angeles
Andrea Barbalich is an editor and writer in Westchester County, New York. Some of the best advice she’s received on dating has come from her platonic guy friends.
Quoted: http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=9253&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=723937
By Andrea Barbalich
When it comes to dating advice, women usually turn to their girlfriends, while guys seek out their more-evolved buddies. But who is better at giving the inside scoop on the opposite sex than… the opposite sex? We tracked down five pairs of platonic friends and asked: What was the best piece of dating advice you got from each other? Enlightening answers lie ahead!
Jill and Kevin’s advice: Keep things real
“The best thing my friend Kevin ever told me is that it’s very important to do ‘everyday life’ things with my date early on. Instead of always having plans (like going to dinner or the theater), just have a day of doing errands or going to the grocery store. You’ll learn quickly whether he is a helpful guy or not.”
— Jill, 42, managing director of an asset-management firm, Litchfield, CT
“Jill is constantly reminding me that you have to look below the surface to find something great. In fact, she is pretty blunt. She says, ‘Stop looking at anything superficial, including her figure.’”
— Kevin, 42, investment banker, New York City
Bryan and Nancy’s advice: Let chemistry guide you
“Bryan’s best advice? That moving too quickly with guys can be a deal-killer. Try to be light and breezy on dates without backing him into a corner to find out how he feels about you, the relationship, or where things are headed.”
— Nancy, 43, loan officer, Stoneham, MA
“Nancy’s motto is, ‘If you don’t feel it, don’t fake it.’ When it’s right, it’s right, she always tells me, and if there’s no chemistry, you just need to accept it and move forward.”
— Bryan, 38, portfolio manager, Dorchester, MA
Audrey and Jim’s advice: Maintain some perspective
“Jim says to ask yourself: Does this person value the same things you value? Do you want similar things out of life? At the end of the day, that’s what counts.”
— Audrey, 31, writer, Washington, D.C.
“Audrey reminds me that you need to give your dates the benefit of the doubt. It’s very easy when something comes up to just assume the worst about the other person, but try turning that around and assuming the best instead.”
— Jim, 32, physical therapist, De Forest, WI
Patrick and Sheila’s advice: Take charge of your own love life
“Patrick always says you should change your scenery by going to different places. If you want to find somebody you’re compatible with, go to a place where you can be yourself, relax and have fun.”
— Sheila, 25, magazine editor, River Vale, NJ
“Sheila’s words of wisdom? You just need to be decisive. The little games people play, like waiting three days or five days before you call, forget it. If you’re going to pursue someone, put all that to the side and go for it!”
— Patrick, 25, real-estate manager, Crestwood, NY
Lowell and Allegra’s advice: Keeping things light helps love bloom
“My friend Lowell says you need to give things time. I will complain that a guy is being a jerk and he’ll say, ‘Yeah, he is, but give him space. Let things be for a bit, and they’ll probably work themselves out.’ That advice has served me well!”
— Allegra, 25, public relations director, New York City
“The best advice Allegra gave me is to find someone who makes me laugh — and make the other person laugh as much as possible, too.”
— Lowell, 26, student, Los Angeles
Andrea Barbalich is an editor and writer in Westchester County, New York. Some of the best advice she’s received on dating has come from her platonic guy friends.
Quoted: http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=9253&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=723937
Seven things you should never do on Facebook
Seven things you should never do on Facebook
By Ewen Boey – January 28th, 2011
There are some things that you should never do on social networking site, Facebook. Ever. (AFP file photo)
By Stuart Miles (Yahoo! News)
1) Never settle for the default settings
The people behind Facebook are keen for you to share your details with the world. The more you share, the more people you connect to, the more people want to sign up. However, sharing everything with all and sundry isn’t a good idea. To check and opt out of the recommended settings, open your Facebook page, click on ‘Account’ in the top right of the screen and then ‘Privacy settings’.
The ‘Recommended settings’ mean that your status, photo, posts, bio, favourite quotation, family and relationship details are shared with everyone. Photos and videos you’re tagged in, religious and political views and birthdays are shared with Friends of friends. Permission to comment on your posts, places you check in to, and contact information are shared with Friends only.
Change all to Friends only, and you’re safe from the prying world.
2) Never agree to have yourself listed on search engines
Telling your Facebook mates what’s going on in your life is one thing, but letting any old Tom, Dick or Harriet see your Facebook page via a web search is another.We would recommend opting to never have your Facebook details shared with other search engines.
To make sure you aren’t go to your Facebook page, ‘Account’, ‘Privacy Settings’, ‘Apps and websites’, then ‘Public Search’. De-tick the ‘Enable Public Search’ button.
3) Never put your address and phone number on Facebook
Unless you want app developers knowing where you live and how to contact you we wouldn’t recommend putting any real details in to Facebook for the time being. That means no home address and no phone number.
4) Never let apps lie dormant
One for the advanced Facebook user: Never let an app continue to suck your information once you’ve done with it.Remember the days when you played Zombies or maybe Vampires? Well those apps are most likely still active on your account and sucking in your personal data. Scary, huh?
Nip over to your Facebook page, go to ‘Account’, ‘Privacy Setting’ and then ‘Apps, games and websites’, and remove the ones you don’t want.
5) Never let your mum see your tagged photos
You’ve had one too many drinks and been tagged for all your friends, colleagues and family to see you not looking too hot. Not good. To avoid this, go to your Facebook page, ‘Account’, ‘Privacy Settings’, and make sure Photos and videos you’re tagged in is set to Friends only.
Taking this to the next level, you can also block individual people on top of those groups of people. Go to ‘Customise settings’, ‘Photos and videos I’m tagged in’ and chose to edit settings. Here from the drop-down menu chose ‘customise’ again and then start listing the people you want to hide your photos from.
6) Never give out your date of birth
What’s one of the first security questions you are ever asked when you deal with your bank? What’s your date of birth? And yet here you are giving it away on your Facebook page for all to see. You should never let people see the year you were born.
Go to your Facebook page, ‘Profile’, then ‘Edit profile’. In the first pane (‘Basic information’) chose as to whether you want to ‘Show my full date of birth in my Profile’, ‘Show only day and month in my Profile’ or ‘Don’t show my birthday in my profile’. If you still want birthday wishes go for the second option.
7) Never broadcast that you’re going on holiday
Always be careful about what you say on your status updates and never give out any personal information that you don’t want getting into the wrong hands.
Burglars prey on stuff like the fact that you’ve gone on holiday and left the keys under the flowerpot near the front door and the combination to the safe is…
Quoted: http://sg.yfittopostblog.com/2011/01/28/seven-things-you-should-never-do-on-facebook/
By Ewen Boey – January 28th, 2011
There are some things that you should never do on social networking site, Facebook. Ever. (AFP file photo)
By Stuart Miles (Yahoo! News)
1) Never settle for the default settings
The people behind Facebook are keen for you to share your details with the world. The more you share, the more people you connect to, the more people want to sign up. However, sharing everything with all and sundry isn’t a good idea. To check and opt out of the recommended settings, open your Facebook page, click on ‘Account’ in the top right of the screen and then ‘Privacy settings’.
The ‘Recommended settings’ mean that your status, photo, posts, bio, favourite quotation, family and relationship details are shared with everyone. Photos and videos you’re tagged in, religious and political views and birthdays are shared with Friends of friends. Permission to comment on your posts, places you check in to, and contact information are shared with Friends only.
Change all to Friends only, and you’re safe from the prying world.
2) Never agree to have yourself listed on search engines
Telling your Facebook mates what’s going on in your life is one thing, but letting any old Tom, Dick or Harriet see your Facebook page via a web search is another.We would recommend opting to never have your Facebook details shared with other search engines.
To make sure you aren’t go to your Facebook page, ‘Account’, ‘Privacy Settings’, ‘Apps and websites’, then ‘Public Search’. De-tick the ‘Enable Public Search’ button.
3) Never put your address and phone number on Facebook
Unless you want app developers knowing where you live and how to contact you we wouldn’t recommend putting any real details in to Facebook for the time being. That means no home address and no phone number.
4) Never let apps lie dormant
One for the advanced Facebook user: Never let an app continue to suck your information once you’ve done with it.Remember the days when you played Zombies or maybe Vampires? Well those apps are most likely still active on your account and sucking in your personal data. Scary, huh?
Nip over to your Facebook page, go to ‘Account’, ‘Privacy Setting’ and then ‘Apps, games and websites’, and remove the ones you don’t want.
5) Never let your mum see your tagged photos
You’ve had one too many drinks and been tagged for all your friends, colleagues and family to see you not looking too hot. Not good. To avoid this, go to your Facebook page, ‘Account’, ‘Privacy Settings’, and make sure Photos and videos you’re tagged in is set to Friends only.
Taking this to the next level, you can also block individual people on top of those groups of people. Go to ‘Customise settings’, ‘Photos and videos I’m tagged in’ and chose to edit settings. Here from the drop-down menu chose ‘customise’ again and then start listing the people you want to hide your photos from.
6) Never give out your date of birth
What’s one of the first security questions you are ever asked when you deal with your bank? What’s your date of birth? And yet here you are giving it away on your Facebook page for all to see. You should never let people see the year you were born.
Go to your Facebook page, ‘Profile’, then ‘Edit profile’. In the first pane (‘Basic information’) chose as to whether you want to ‘Show my full date of birth in my Profile’, ‘Show only day and month in my Profile’ or ‘Don’t show my birthday in my profile’. If you still want birthday wishes go for the second option.
7) Never broadcast that you’re going on holiday
Always be careful about what you say on your status updates and never give out any personal information that you don’t want getting into the wrong hands.
Burglars prey on stuff like the fact that you’ve gone on holiday and left the keys under the flowerpot near the front door and the combination to the safe is…
Quoted: http://sg.yfittopostblog.com/2011/01/28/seven-things-you-should-never-do-on-facebook/
Veilded Prophecy
Have you ever wondered upon what prophecy is? In its simplest form, it is the Word of God, spoken to encourage, challenge, rebuke or warn us. Therefore, in essence, prophecy is something that is very useful and helpful for us. But why is it that sometimes God speaks and we are more confused after the words were given to us than before it? This is also God's means of encouraging and protecting us. He is encouraging us to pray and protecting us until the time is right for His words to be received and brought to fruition. Daniel was a mighty man of God who communed with the Lord intimately, but even he had prophetic dreams and visions that confused and even ailed him. The following is what Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary interpreted Daniel's situation to the unique words of prophecy he received in Daniel 8. "Daniel heard the time of this calamity limited and determined; but not the time when it should come. If we would know the mind of God, we must apply to Christ, in whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge; not hid from us, but hid for us. There is much difficulty as to the precise time here stated, but the end of it cannont be very distant. God will, for his own glory, see to the cleansing of the church in due time. Christ died to cleanse his church; and he will so cleanse it as to present it blameless to himself." As stated here, the ultimate goal for words of prophecy is for the body of Christ to prepare herself for the coming of her Bridegroom. In the end, words of encouragement or rebuke are God's way of cleansing and purifying us for the great wedding day.
Living Life
Living Life
Friday, January 28, 2011
A short blog
Wednesday I got the book, today friday, I finished the book. The book of the 4th Dimension => A world of Answered Prayer. And it is just Vol 1 of a 3 part series...I wonder are there 2 others... hmmm... Someone will know.
I thank God, as I was able to make it for cell group on wednesday with the postponing of the Market Research. Thursday, no business presentation meeting...thus went for Chingay Meeting...which is 7.30pm till 10pm in which the meeting is only 9-10pm. officially....sigh....what precious time. Well since committed....do and do, rule on rule.
Friday, I declared myself day off....or is there such a thing. Went to WH...thank for the prompting and a phone call.....finally found the place....woah....it is so much different. From the previous place. But less food...
Lunch was great...Soup spoon., I took the same thing....plus Naan upgrade which is SGD1.50...woah......but it is just normal to me...nothing really special. I think I will just take the normal bread. Yum yum.
I guess the one incident that left the biggest impression and still lingers in my mind now as I type this blog. Believeable unbelieveable, I went to visit a catholic church. It is really seemingly as I think it is. The last time I was in any mass was like ages ago....where to me it is very ritualisitic which I think it is good...however, as all went to take the bread. The message I know is the bread is in memorance of Jesus.....so I am not a Catholic or something (dun remember what the elder said or I just didn't get the hint), I can't take the bread. Fine with me....haha...though it just make me wonders...and think thru. I am glad nothing too big happen... I only have one question for God => What You have for me in this to know more about you? What You have installed for me? Teach me. I seek wisdom for those who lack, seek and it will be given. In Your Timing. I ask and pray. In Jesus' Name.
Amen
I thank God, as I was able to make it for cell group on wednesday with the postponing of the Market Research. Thursday, no business presentation meeting...thus went for Chingay Meeting...which is 7.30pm till 10pm in which the meeting is only 9-10pm. officially....sigh....what precious time. Well since committed....do and do, rule on rule.
Friday, I declared myself day off....or is there such a thing. Went to WH...thank for the prompting and a phone call.....finally found the place....woah....it is so much different. From the previous place. But less food...
Lunch was great...Soup spoon., I took the same thing....plus Naan upgrade which is SGD1.50...woah......but it is just normal to me...nothing really special. I think I will just take the normal bread. Yum yum.
I guess the one incident that left the biggest impression and still lingers in my mind now as I type this blog. Believeable unbelieveable, I went to visit a catholic church. It is really seemingly as I think it is. The last time I was in any mass was like ages ago....where to me it is very ritualisitic which I think it is good...however, as all went to take the bread. The message I know is the bread is in memorance of Jesus.....so I am not a Catholic or something (dun remember what the elder said or I just didn't get the hint), I can't take the bread. Fine with me....haha...though it just make me wonders...and think thru. I am glad nothing too big happen... I only have one question for God => What You have for me in this to know more about you? What You have installed for me? Teach me. I seek wisdom for those who lack, seek and it will be given. In Your Timing. I ask and pray. In Jesus' Name.
Amen
Top 5 Fashion Mistakes Men Make
Top 5 Fashion Mistakes Men Make
Tuesday January 25, 2011 08:11 pm PST
By Fazillah Abdul Gaffa
We’re sure Singaporean men are good at a lot of things – being dads, filing taxes, figuring out which LAN gaming centre gives the best bang for the buck… But there are some things, however, that Singaporean men are infamously bad at, and the evidence is easily apparent: their sense of style – or the lack of it.
Mostly, the Singaporean fashion crimes are most guilty of are:
1. Absence of the The Right Fit
Singaporean men are not the only culprits – a lot of men take a good, heaven-sent attribute, like the fit of clothes, and exaggerate it to preposterous proportions. On top of the fact that they’ve decided their shirt tails should hang out, they’ve also picked a shirt big enough for two people to sleep in.
How many times have you seen a man sashaying down Orchard Road in a pair of skinny jeans so tight you could name his man bits? Or the opposite end of the spectrum, with men who look like they’re not wearing shirts, but instead, a short dress paparazzi-flashing Lindsay Lohan would approve?
Do these guys a favour if you’re friends with them – help them buy something in their size.
2. Collar Popping
Here’s the truth: you do not look cool with your collars popped. You look like an overgrown frat boy who’s trying too hard to get laid. This collar-popping phenomenon started in 1929 when René Lacoste, the French seven-time Grand Slam champion, designed a cotton shirt that he would wear with its collar turned up to block the sun from his neck when playing tennis. In a time where sunblock is available at Watson’s for $5.90, you don’t need to pop your collar to block the sun.
Correcting the crime: Pop their collar down before they head out the door.
3. Wearing sunglasses indoors or at night
Comedian Larry David put it best… "You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assh*les." Unfortunately, a lot of Singaporean men do that. Whether it’s just simple laziness of putting back your sunnies where it belongs, or feeble attempt at looking cool, wearing sunglasses indoors or at night is probably one of the most wrist-slitting fashion mistakes you can make. And it’s so simply not to do it.
4. Carrying women’s bags
There is a line between being gentlemanly, and being completely stupid. Carrying your wife’s or your girlfriend’s $4,000 Chanel bag that you’ve paid for on her birthday falls into the latter category. Carry her shopping bags, open doors for her, but draw the line at carrying her designer handbag.
5. Sports jerseys
We understand your undying passion for Manchester United Football Club, we just don’t understand why you have to declare that love all the time. There are a lot of other things you can wear – like t-shirts, or shirts that are not scarlet red and emblazoned with the logo of a multi-billion dollar insurance company. If somebody’s advertising is on you, it only makes sense to have them pay you, not the other way around.
While the Don Drapers in this world are few and far between, those who want to take sensible fashion pointers can turn to the inaugural Singapore Men’s Fashion Week 2011. The five-day men’s fashion event will showcase the Autumn/Winter 2011 collections of up to 15 renowned brands; to date, the labels that will be rocking the runway include Boss Black by Hugo Boss, Canali, Dress Camp, Emmanuel, Etro, G.I.L. Homme, Raoul, Shanghai Tang and Versace.
Quoted: http://sg.promotion.yahoo.com/weekend-edition/hype
Tuesday January 25, 2011 08:11 pm PST
By Fazillah Abdul Gaffa
We’re sure Singaporean men are good at a lot of things – being dads, filing taxes, figuring out which LAN gaming centre gives the best bang for the buck… But there are some things, however, that Singaporean men are infamously bad at, and the evidence is easily apparent: their sense of style – or the lack of it.
Mostly, the Singaporean fashion crimes are most guilty of are:
1. Absence of the The Right Fit
Singaporean men are not the only culprits – a lot of men take a good, heaven-sent attribute, like the fit of clothes, and exaggerate it to preposterous proportions. On top of the fact that they’ve decided their shirt tails should hang out, they’ve also picked a shirt big enough for two people to sleep in.
How many times have you seen a man sashaying down Orchard Road in a pair of skinny jeans so tight you could name his man bits? Or the opposite end of the spectrum, with men who look like they’re not wearing shirts, but instead, a short dress paparazzi-flashing Lindsay Lohan would approve?
Do these guys a favour if you’re friends with them – help them buy something in their size.
2. Collar Popping
Here’s the truth: you do not look cool with your collars popped. You look like an overgrown frat boy who’s trying too hard to get laid. This collar-popping phenomenon started in 1929 when René Lacoste, the French seven-time Grand Slam champion, designed a cotton shirt that he would wear with its collar turned up to block the sun from his neck when playing tennis. In a time where sunblock is available at Watson’s for $5.90, you don’t need to pop your collar to block the sun.
Correcting the crime: Pop their collar down before they head out the door.
3. Wearing sunglasses indoors or at night
Comedian Larry David put it best… "You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people and assh*les." Unfortunately, a lot of Singaporean men do that. Whether it’s just simple laziness of putting back your sunnies where it belongs, or feeble attempt at looking cool, wearing sunglasses indoors or at night is probably one of the most wrist-slitting fashion mistakes you can make. And it’s so simply not to do it.
4. Carrying women’s bags
There is a line between being gentlemanly, and being completely stupid. Carrying your wife’s or your girlfriend’s $4,000 Chanel bag that you’ve paid for on her birthday falls into the latter category. Carry her shopping bags, open doors for her, but draw the line at carrying her designer handbag.
5. Sports jerseys
We understand your undying passion for Manchester United Football Club, we just don’t understand why you have to declare that love all the time. There are a lot of other things you can wear – like t-shirts, or shirts that are not scarlet red and emblazoned with the logo of a multi-billion dollar insurance company. If somebody’s advertising is on you, it only makes sense to have them pay you, not the other way around.
While the Don Drapers in this world are few and far between, those who want to take sensible fashion pointers can turn to the inaugural Singapore Men’s Fashion Week 2011. The five-day men’s fashion event will showcase the Autumn/Winter 2011 collections of up to 15 renowned brands; to date, the labels that will be rocking the runway include Boss Black by Hugo Boss, Canali, Dress Camp, Emmanuel, Etro, G.I.L. Homme, Raoul, Shanghai Tang and Versace.
Quoted: http://sg.promotion.yahoo.com/weekend-edition/hype
The Precious Soul
With the creation of man, God carefully crafted our soul. Within the believer's body that is the temple of God, resides the soul that was purposed for its Creator. How precious our soul must be if our God created it for His glory! Here is what Thomas Watson had to say about the "Preciousness of the Soul." "The soul is the glory of the creation. The soul is a beam of God; it is a sparkle of celestial brightness, as Demascen calls it. There is in the soul, an idea and resemblance of God, an analogy of similitude of God. If David so admired the rare texture and workmanship of his body (Psalm 139 14-15" 'I am fearfully and wonderfully made.') If the cabinet is so curiously wrought, what is the jewel! How richly and gloriously the soul is embroidered! It is divinely inlaid and enameled. The body is but the sheath. Daniel 7:15: 'I was grieved in the midst of my body.' In the Chaldean version, it is 'in the midst of my sheath.' The most beautiful body is but like a velvet sheath; the soul is the blade of admirable metal. The soul is a sparkling diamond set in a ring of clay. The soul is a vessel of honor. God Himself is served in this vessel. The soul is the bird of paradise which soars aloft; it may be compared to the wings of the cherubim; it has a winged swiftness to fly to heaven. The soul is capable of communion with God and angels. The soul is God's house that He has made to dwell in (Hebrews 3:6). The understanding, will, and affections are the three stories in this house. What a pity it is, that this goodly building should be rented out- and the devil become a tenant in it!" Be always vigilant to protect your soul. The enemy prowls and lurks and leaps at the opportunity to capture your soul. Even the enemy knows that your soul is precious; do you?
Living Life
Living Life
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Ready For the Dog Days of Winter?
Ready For the Dog Days of Winter?
by Gwendolyn Bounds
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
provided by
Is a $175 Bella Lucca faux mink coat for dogs medically necessary?
Pricey couture is optional, but some breeds do need outerwear in the winter, veterinarians say. Small, short-haired, inactive dogs without a thick fur undercoat are more susceptible to cold weather.
[More from WSJ.com: Emerging Nations Tackle Food Costs]
Breeds include the Chihuahua, dachshund, Boston terrier, shih tzu, bichon frise, miniature pinscher and the xolo, a Mexican hairless dog.
"There's no question in winter with rain, snow and ice that these dogs are more at risk because of their size and inability to keep body heat," says Rene Carlson, president-elect of the American Veterinary Medical Association.
| Ice-Melt Poses Pet Risks When protecting dogs from harsh winter conditions, don't overlook the paws. Rock salt (sodium chloride), a common ice-melting agent, can irritate pets' paws, mouths and gastrointestinal systems and trigger seizures when ingested in large quantities. Alternative ice- and snow-melt products, with names like "Safe Paw," "Safe-T-Pet" and "Ice Melt for Pets," may be less irritating, but still can pose risks. Some include magnesium, calcium, potassium or urea, which also can pose problems when consumed in large amounts, says Camille DeClementi, senior toxicologist for the Animal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. "We worry that if pets ingest a fair amount, it will change the electrolyte balance in their bloodstream," Dr. DeClementi says. Among the possible effects: dehydration, kidney failure, heart arrhythmia and seizures. What puts pets at risk? Piling product on sidewalks rather than sprinkling as directed, or accidentally leaving open bags where they're accessible to pets. In cases of concentrated ingestion, a urea or calcium-based product generally poses less risk than products with other common ingredients, Dr. DeClementi says. She recommends wiping pets' paws down after walks and keeping fur between paw pads trimmed but not too short. If an animal exhibits lethargy, vomiting, diarrhea, twitching or trembling, call the veterinarian or Animal Poison Control Center (888-426-4435) and have product label nearby for reference. -- Gwendolyn Bounds |
Normal dog body temperature runs 101 to 102 degrees. A drop in body temperature of five or six degrees can put dogs at risk of low blood pressure and kidney damage, as well as decreased blood flow to the liver and brain, which can possibly lead to hypothermia.
Elderly or ailing animals may need to don extra layers, regardless of their breed, says Stephen Zawistowski, science adviser to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
There are plenty of pet apparel purveyors these days. Outdoor retailer REI sells $40 "Adventure Dog Boots" with recycled tire rubber soles, while etsy.com offers a crocheted acrylic/wool cap for toy breeds.
[More from WSJ.com: Airlines Revamp Sites to Push Extras]
Bigger breeds bred for outdoor life and work, such as the Labrador retriever, German shepherd and Siberian husky, typically can stick it out in the buff, so long as they are active on walks or have a sheltered spot with lots of bedding and a nutritious, plentiful diet if left outdoors, vets say.
"When we think of the working and sporting dogs, these are the ones less likely to need protection," Dr. Zawistowski says. "Lap dogs need it the most."
Useful garb may include: wool and polyester sweaters, fleece or waterproof jackets and booties to protect from ice and salted streets and sidewalks. Indoors, extra layers can help, too.
There are also bed warmers, such as the Pet-zzz-pad, an American Kennel Club-licensed item, with cords encased in steel chew-resistant casing.
[More from WSJ.com: Why Rich Parents Don't Matter]
Less useful, Dr. Carlson says: hats and goggles, which can throw off an animal's equilibrium. "Dogs have a very good blinking response and a third eyelid that comes up if there's need for protection."
Keeping Fido warm doesn't have to cost a fortune. A child's sweatshirt from a thrift shop cut to fit and bundled under a dog's belly with a zip tie can do the trick.
"When you're spending $250 on a designer coat, that's so you can be seen with the dog in the coat, not for the dog," says Dr. Zawistowski says.
Write to Gwendolyn Bounds at wendy.bounds@wsj.com
Quoted: http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/111933/ready-for-the-dog-days-of-winter
The Father's Arms
When you think of our heavenly Father, how do you picture him? Many of us might see our earthly fathers, and project our own disappontments or expectations upon Him; however, we cannot be more wrong when we do such things. Our heavenly Father is perfect. When He embraces us, there is a complete perfection of comfort and love that comes with being in His arms. It is when we are completely abandoned to Him that we can experience the fullness of such an embrace. But as we read about the ascension of Christ, through Daniel's vision, we need to see how the Father might have embraced His one and only Son, Jesus, when He came into His throne room to receive His Kingdom. John Flavel pictures it this way. "the Father received him with open arms, rejoicing exceedingly to see him again in heaven; therefore God is said to 'receive him up into glory.' (1Tim3:16). For that which, with respect to Christ, is called ascension, is,with respect to the Father, called assumption. He went up, and the Father received him. Yes, received so as none ever was received before him, or shall be received after him." But there is a great joy reserved for us as believers as well, that on our day of reunion, our heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, will both be in Heaven waiting ofr our ascension so that they can embrace us and welcome us home.
Living Life
Living Life
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
The Son of Man
Daniel's vision in Chapter 7 introduces the greatest hope of all mankind, Jesus Christ. It is in this vision that he sees the Son of Man on clouds in heaven going before the throne of the Ancient of Days. This scene signifies how Jesus receives His promised "dominion, and glory, and a kingdom." According to William Plumer, "the terms 'dominion, glory, and a kingdom,' denote the extent, grandeur, and permanency of the posession purchased by Christ, and secured to him by covenant. What Daniel therefore saw was, 'that in the vigor of the Roman empire Jesus Christ ascended to his God and Father, the Ancient of days, and took his seat at his right hand, and received a title to and entered on the possession of a kingdom - grand, glorious, and permanent.' " The hope that we have in Christ is an everlasting hope that is established by God. Jesus is referred to as teh Rock of our salvation because of its weight and foundation that cannot be shaken. Therefore, put your trust in the Lord for He will remain faithful until the end.
Living Life
Living Life
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
10 Easy Ways to Become a Better Person.
10 Easy Ways to Become a Better Person
Making a change in the world can be an easy part of your everyday life. Here are 10 ways you can make a difference. From Most Good, Least Harm: A Simple Principle for a Better World and Meaningful Life by Zoe Weil
1. Commit to the 3 I’s: Inquire, Introspect, live with Integrity. Expose yourself to information and ideas about most good (MOGO) living by talking to and learning from people from all walks of life -- especially people who are also trying to do the most good and the least harm; by reading widely and deeply; by visiting websites aimed at making a difference; and by viewing relevant films. You can find a list of regularly updated websites, books, magazines, and films in the resources section at HumaneEducation.org. Then introspect: identify your values, consider what is most important to you, assess your talents and interests, and seek out ways to put these together practically and productively. Finally, live with integrity. To the best of your ability, put your values into practice.
2. Work for change. Give some of your time, resources, and talents to create systemic change that benefits all. Choose the issues that most concern and compel you, get involved, and relish the joy that such generosity brings to yourself and others. If you can, make your career one that is MOGO.
3. Rethink, Reuse, Repair, and Recycle. As much as possible, rethink your use of products that are unnecessary, inhumane, produced through exploitive business practices, non-recyclable, over-packaged, toxic, and/or unsustainable. When you do make purchases, choose the most sustainable, efficient, humane, fairly traded, and healthy versions. Then reuse what you can, repair what is reparable, and recycle when you are through. And in the midst of these 4 Rs, consider what you could borrow instead of buy, and what you could share with friends and neighbors so that they can better rethink unnecessary products, too.
4. Eat for life. As much as possible, choose plant-based foods produced close to where you live, grown organically, and unprocessed. This will improve your health, the environment, the lives of animals, and the wellbeing of other people.
5. Reduce your ecological footprint. Drive less, carpool, walk, bike, car-share, and use public transportation more. If you need to own a car, choose one with the best fuel efficiency to meet your needs. Choose the most energy efficient and ecologically friendly options for homes, home repair, appliances, lighting, heating, and cooling. Choose your recreation and vacations with MOGO in mind as well: an ecotourism excursion over a cruise; cross-country skiing instead of downhill skiing; canoeing more often than motor boating.
6. Transform education. People need relevant information, tools for critical thinking, and motivation to lead meaningful lives that contribute to a better world. Whether you are a parent, student, teacher, elder, or concerned citizen, help make living sustainably and peacefully the very purpose of education at all levels by engaging in dialogue with lawmakers, educators, and school and university administrators.
7. Invest your money ethically. If you are going to rely on a mutual fund for retirement or college, choose a socially responsible investment fund. Ask for a portfolio and assess whether the company invests in the kinds of businesses you want to support. Seek out community banks and credit unions, and consider micro-lending and investment in social businesses as a means of using your money to help others.
8. Build community. Find others who share your desire to make MOGO choices by joining existing groups or creating your own group, and invite people to join you. You will enjoy the friendship and camaraderie, and help make a difference at the same time. Don’t forget the communities of which you are already a part. Get to know your neighbors, and work with them to make your neighborhood healthy, supportive, and safe.
9. Teach others. Share what you know with others and engage them in the challenge of living a MOGO life by using positive communication that does not judge or blame. Listen as often as you speak. Teaching and learning happen everywhere: one on one, in schools, in religious congregations, at camps, in families, in print and film, at learning centers, on social networking internet sites, at senior facilities, and so on. Model your message, and speak your truth in kind and inspiring ways wherever you are and with whomever you’re in contact.
10. Strive for balance. Set reasonable goals for yourself, and remember that the “most good, least harm” equation includes you. You are a role model for a MOGO life, so find the balance that lets you live joyfully, enthusiastically, and compassionately.
Learn how change starts with you with Zoe Weil's Most Good, Least Harm.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Zoe Weil, author of Most Good, Least Harm: A Simple Principle for a Better World and Meaningful Life (Copyright © 2009 by Zoe Weil), is the co-founder and president of the Institute for Humane Education. She created the first M.Ed degree and certificate programs in humane education in the United States. Zoe leads MOGO and humane education workshops throughout the Unite States and Canada. She lives in coastal Maine. Visit zoeweil.com for information on workshops and presentations.
Quoted: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/10-easy-ways-to-become-a-better-person-2441741/
11 Obvious Signs Of You Falling In Love
11 Obvious Signs Of You Falling In Love
Saturday, 23 May, 2009 Written By: LoB~
Have you ever feel that you are in love but worried that your senses might be playing prank on you? How sure are you about falling in love?
Could it be another self deceiving theory or just a passing monsoon rain? Rather than try to guess your feeling, why not look at these following signs to ascertain if you are indeed in love.
Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.”
Here are 11 signs that can tell you if you are really falling in love.
Saturday, 23 May, 2009 Written By: LoB~
Have you ever feel that you are in love but worried that your senses might be playing prank on you? How sure are you about falling in love?
Could it be another self deceiving theory or just a passing monsoon rain? Rather than try to guess your feeling, why not look at these following signs to ascertain if you are indeed in love.
Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.”
Here are 11 signs that can tell you if you are really falling in love.
- When you’re on the phone with them late at night and they hang up, but you already started missing them even it just a few minutes.
- You read their SMS texts over and over again.
- You walk really slowly when you’re with them and just hope the time could be paused at that moment.
- You feel shy but comfortable whenever you’re with them.
- Every time you think about them, your heart beats faster and faster.
- You smile and immediately search for them when you hear their voices.
- When you look at them, you can’t see the other people around them, all that is in your vision is him/her.
- You start listening to slow songs, while thinking of them.
- You think of them every single second and just hope they will just appear in front of you.
- You get high just from smelling their scent.
- You realize that you’re always smiling to yourself when you think about them.
It pretty easy for others to tell if you are in love, but for one to feel it, we have to sit down and observe ourself in detail. Falling in love is a great feeling and we should really enjoyed this wonderful process. What symptom do you show when you are in love?
Quoted: http://lovebirds.sg/2009/05/23/11-obvious-signs-of-you-falling-in-love/
What Women Says And What They Really Means
What Women Says And What They Really Means
Thursday, 25 June, 2009 Written By: LoB~
Sometimes or should I say most of the times, women don’t meant what they say. It could be really frustrating that we can’t grasp hold on what the women are thinking but at times it’s fun to study them.
Women are complex, perhaps the most in this world, but we do not need to be a psychic to read what they are thinking. Experience and a little bit of attentiveness in a relationship will assist us in exploring the truth communication between women.
"Women like silent men. They think they’re listening.”
Here are some of the things that they say but has a different meaning
What She Says: I like you, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship.
What She Means: I have zero interest in dating you. Not now, not ever, so don’t even bother asking again.
What She Says: Do we really have to go to that party tonight?
What She Means: I’d rather chew on nails than make conversation with your loser friends.
What She Says: Do I look fat in this?
What She Means: Please tell me you find me the most hottest and sexist woman in your life and my body is so great and slim that you can’t keep your eyes or hands off me.
What She Says: Do you think she’s pretty?
What She Means: Do you think she’s prettier than I am? And even if you do, don’t you dare say yes.
What She Says: Are you seeing anyone right now?
What She Means: How fast can you break up with your current girlfriend?
What She Says: Where do you see this going?
What She Means: Am I just a booty call or wife material?
What She Says: Are you wearing that?
What She Means: Please change immediately before someone sees you and I die of embarrassment.
What She Says: Where have you been?
What She Means: You’re f**king late and you better do some groveling. Now!
What She Says: Are you telling the truth?
What She Means: You’re lying, you cheating sack of sh*t. Spill it before I kill you!
What She Says: Oh, how do you know her?
What She Means: Did you sleep with that slut?
Enough said. There’ll be definitely more to the lines and may meant differently however it’s up to you how to handle them. If you just can’t win them, silence maybe the best solution. Good luck.
Quoted: http://lovebirds.sg/2009/06/25/what-women-says-and-what-they-really-means/
Thursday, 25 June, 2009 Written By: LoB~
Sometimes or should I say most of the times, women don’t meant what they say. It could be really frustrating that we can’t grasp hold on what the women are thinking but at times it’s fun to study them.
Women are complex, perhaps the most in this world, but we do not need to be a psychic to read what they are thinking. Experience and a little bit of attentiveness in a relationship will assist us in exploring the truth communication between women.
"Women like silent men. They think they’re listening.”
Here are some of the things that they say but has a different meaning
What She Says: I like you, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship.
What She Means: I have zero interest in dating you. Not now, not ever, so don’t even bother asking again.
What She Says: Do we really have to go to that party tonight?
What She Means: I’d rather chew on nails than make conversation with your loser friends.
What She Says: Do I look fat in this?
What She Means: Please tell me you find me the most hottest and sexist woman in your life and my body is so great and slim that you can’t keep your eyes or hands off me.
What She Says: Do you think she’s pretty?
What She Means: Do you think she’s prettier than I am? And even if you do, don’t you dare say yes.
What She Says: Are you seeing anyone right now?
What She Means: How fast can you break up with your current girlfriend?
What She Says: Where do you see this going?
What She Means: Am I just a booty call or wife material?
What She Says: Are you wearing that?
What She Means: Please change immediately before someone sees you and I die of embarrassment.
What She Says: Where have you been?
What She Means: You’re f**king late and you better do some groveling. Now!
What She Says: Are you telling the truth?
What She Means: You’re lying, you cheating sack of sh*t. Spill it before I kill you!
What She Says: Oh, how do you know her?
What She Means: Did you sleep with that slut?
Enough said. There’ll be definitely more to the lines and may meant differently however it’s up to you how to handle them. If you just can’t win them, silence maybe the best solution. Good luck.
Quoted: http://lovebirds.sg/2009/06/25/what-women-says-and-what-they-really-means/
The Dissection Of Why Women Always Fall In Love With The Wrong Men
The Dissection Of Why Women Always Fall In Love With The Wrong Men Friday, 2 October, 2009 Written By: LoB~
Everyone told you he was the wrong guy for you, but you could not see it until after he dumped you. Is this what they called, love is blind? And has all flaws become beauty in the eyes of love? What is it that makes women fall in love with the wrong men?
Anyone could claim to be how strong they are when it comes to loves, but in actual facts, humans are very fragile and vulnerable to be hurt by loves. This is the way of life no matter who you are.
Love is not blind; it simply enables one to see things others fail to see.”
Here, we dissect the reasons why you might think Mr. Totally Wrong is the Right One for you.
Why Women Always Fall In Love With The Wrong Men
Everyone told you he was the wrong guy for you, but you could not see it until after he dumped you. Is this what they called, love is blind? And has all flaws become beauty in the eyes of love? What is it that makes women fall in love with the wrong men?
Anyone could claim to be how strong they are when it comes to loves, but in actual facts, humans are very fragile and vulnerable to be hurt by loves. This is the way of life no matter who you are.
Love is not blind; it simply enables one to see things others fail to see.”
Here, we dissect the reasons why you might think Mr. Totally Wrong is the Right One for you.
Why Women Always Fall In Love With The Wrong Men
- He says all the right things at the right time. It’s hard to think someone is a tug when they are telling you that you are pretty, and smart, and that they really like you. A smooth talker can make you believe that even your closest friends are wrong.
- He does small things that make you think he cares. However, if you start to notice, these small gestures don’t really cost him very much.
- He is a sex machine and can really fulfill you in bed. Yes, sometimes great sex is all it takes for a woman to keep a man that is not right for her.
- He is handsome. You feel really good about being in the arm of a man who turns heads. Who does not want to have the hottest boyfriend around? But there is more to a relationship than looks.
- You do not want to be the only single one in your group of friends. If everyone else is married or seeing someone, you don’t want to feel left out or be the third wheel.
- Your friend set you up on a blind date, and now you feel like you owe it to them to keep dating him as you pity him too.
- You are thirty (or some other magic age) and feel like it is time to settle down. Do not let age define you, and do not settle for someone just because you feel like you should be married.
- You do not think anyone else is interested. Again, this is a very bad excuse for staying with someone. Do not let yourself fall for someone just because you do not think there is someone better out there.
- Being with someone who is not quite right is better than being alone. Do not let yourself think this, you deserve to be with someone who makes you completely happy.
- I can change him to be better! You really cannot change him even if you tried. Love someone as he is doesn’t mean that you have to accept all his abuse and flaws. If he is wrong for you, he is wrong for you. Move on before you find yourself so far into him that getting out simply becomes very difficult.
Love is a mysterious and especial thing. Words simply cannot define love and it always mean differently for all of us. Sometimes when we are so engrossed in love, it needs someone else to remind or instill some senses into us. After all, we can’t just fall in love blindly.
Quoted: http://lovebirds.sg/2009/10/02/the-dissection-of-why-women-always-fall-in-love-with-the-wrong-men/
7 Signs that Show Your Man is Only Lusting Over You
7 Signs that Show Your Man is Only Lusting Over You Thursday, 5 November, 2009 Written By: LoB~
Someone who make love to you does not need to love you. I mean get serious, ever heard of one night stand or just a depress sex tool? So if you think that because a man has made love to you, he will be caught up emotionally as you are, think again!
So if the man you now dating is telling you all the things he knows you want to hear so that he can get under your bush, then you have to beware. Here are seven signs that you can do to find out if he is in love with you or merely lusting after you
"True love never dies for it is lust that fades away. Love bonds for a lifetime but lust just pushes away.”
7 Signs That Show Your Man Want To Go Into You
Someone who make love to you does not need to love you. I mean get serious, ever heard of one night stand or just a depress sex tool? So if you think that because a man has made love to you, he will be caught up emotionally as you are, think again!
So if the man you now dating is telling you all the things he knows you want to hear so that he can get under your bush, then you have to beware. Here are seven signs that you can do to find out if he is in love with you or merely lusting after you
"True love never dies for it is lust that fades away. Love bonds for a lifetime but lust just pushes away.”
7 Signs That Show Your Man Want To Go Into You
- He always calls you at the last minute to ask you out. If for some reason you don’t hear from him most of the week and he calls on Thursday night to ask you to hang out with him or just simply ask you to come over to his home, then you can conclude that he is not really in love with you, he just wants you for sex.
- He forgets your birthdays. When you ask him to meet your friends and family members he finds creative ways to avoid those opportunities. If a man is in love with you, they will be very glad to meet your family members.
- He never gives you any special gifts. Even if he does not have a lot of money in the bank, he should be able to afford one red rose or a pair of sterling silver earrings — something that shows you that he is thinking about you.
- He only takes you to places where you will drink and hopefully get drunk so that he can take advantage of the fact that you may have drank more than your fare share.
- He always wants to hang out with you at night and never during the day. If a guy is in love with you, it does not matter what time of day or night he hangs out with you.
- When you are together he does not like to talk too much. His conversations with you are usually short and tend to always suggest sex or things along those lines.
- When you go over to visit him, he has a tendency to take you to his bedroom. Sure, even a guy that is in love with you will want to talk you into going to his bedroom, but he will only suggest that if he senses that you are in the mood for lovemaking.
So if the guy you are dating now is showing any of these signs, you really want to think about what you want from him. If you just want to have a sex partner without the emotional commitment that love demands, then you can hang around the guy you have now. However, if love is what you are looking for, then you may want to put an end to the relationship now.
Quoted: http://lovebirds.sg/2009/11/05/7-signs-that-show-your-man-is-only-lusting-over-you/
10 Top Dating Myths Debunked!
10 Top Dating Myths Debunked!
Friday, 29 October, 2010 Written By: LoB~
Dating and the human brain offer such a complex array of idiosyncrasies that it’s sometimes difficult to distinguish truth from myth. Thankfully, we always have research to turn to when trying to solve the complex puzzle of the human brain. Let’s look at the top ten dating myths that have been (at least somewhat) debunked by science.
Most women labor under an unbelievable number of delusions as to why guys do what they do.
Myth 1: Bedroom Talk
There’s a lot of talk about lying in relationships, and many relationship experts claim that one of the best places to quietly discuss matters with a new lover is in the privacy of one’s bedroom. What research has found, however, is that the bedroom is actually where the greatest number of lies are told. If you want to find out what somebody is really thinking, studies show that talking around the breakfast table is the closest you’ll ever come to a truth serum.
Myth 2: Girls Are Crazy About Sensitive Men
There is a movement suggesting that what really drives women crazy is sensitive men. While women may believe that sensitive men are great, studies show that what initially catches their eye is rugged, masculine looks (square jaw, large nose, etc.) and a carefree attitude. The only time a sensitive guy (small chin, raised eyebrows, caring) might have the upper hand is when a woman is looking for a marriage partner – but too much sensitivity (being a pushover, indecisiveness) can count against him.
Myth 3: No Such Thing as Being Too Picky
If you don’t mind the possibility of keeping your own company for the duration of your life, then this may indeed be true. Otherwise, you are living in the popular myth that there is a perfect person out there for each of us. There is a very fine line between being picky and compromising the reality of your relationships. Popular research suggests that we can be perfectly happy with only 80 percent of our needs met.
Myth 4: Doesn’t Matter What They Say, I’m the Only One Who Knows
When we are newly in love or infatuation, our brains are usually so clouded with morphine-like chemicals that it’s hard to see any bad in the world, much less the bad in our new love. Usually, the people who can see the situation clearly are our friends and family, so while you may think you know better than they do, it is certainly at least worth listening to their concerns.
Myth 5: Living Together Irons Out the Wrinkles
It’s common belief that living together prior to marriage helps couples iron out the small wrinkles of joint living, but what research has found is that it actually increases your chances of divorce. Couples who choose to live together are, one, slightly hesitant about the union, and two, comfortable in the fact that if it doesn’t work out they can move on. This is the wrong mindset for a long and happy marriage.
Myth 6: Third Time’s the Charm
A lot of multiple-divorce couples like to chant “Third time’s the charm” when getting married for their third, and hopefully last, time. They feel comforted by this phrase, as does their partner in cahoots. The truth of the matter is, however, that a second marriage has a 60 to 67 percent chance of failure, while a third marriage has a dismal 73 to 75 percent chance. Don’t kid yourself.
Myth 7: Pickup Lines Never Work
Research shows that humorous and complimentary pickup lines work on some men and women if delivered with honesty, creativity and sincerity.
Myth 8: Impossible to Love Two People At Once
If an individual falls for two people who possess two very opposing, yet complimentary personalities, together they may add up to the ultimate partner. This is why it’s easier than some people think to fall in love with two people.
Myth 9: All Men are Cheaters
There is research out there stating that men are the bigger cheaters, and that it is also easy to find research pointing to men and women as cheating fairly equally, as well as evidence concluding that women are the bigger cheaters. If there is anything we can conclude from this, it’s that it is the person who cheats, and not the gender, so we should look at the individual and the signs they give (male or female) in order to decipher their potential as a mate.
Myth 10: Cold Shower
Some people believe that after a particularly heated date that ends without a bang, it’s a good idea to relieve any pent up, lingering sexual energy by taking a cold shower. What research has found, however, is cold showers actually stimulate the production of hormones and sexual desire, thereby producing the opposite effect of what one would hope.
So now these 10 top dating myths has been debunked. Are they any other dating myths that need debunking? Share with us here!
Quoted: http://lovebirds.sg/2010/10/29/10-top-dating-myths-debunked/
Friday, 29 October, 2010 Written By: LoB~
Dating and the human brain offer such a complex array of idiosyncrasies that it’s sometimes difficult to distinguish truth from myth. Thankfully, we always have research to turn to when trying to solve the complex puzzle of the human brain. Let’s look at the top ten dating myths that have been (at least somewhat) debunked by science.
Most women labor under an unbelievable number of delusions as to why guys do what they do.
Myth 1: Bedroom Talk
There’s a lot of talk about lying in relationships, and many relationship experts claim that one of the best places to quietly discuss matters with a new lover is in the privacy of one’s bedroom. What research has found, however, is that the bedroom is actually where the greatest number of lies are told. If you want to find out what somebody is really thinking, studies show that talking around the breakfast table is the closest you’ll ever come to a truth serum.
Myth 2: Girls Are Crazy About Sensitive Men
There is a movement suggesting that what really drives women crazy is sensitive men. While women may believe that sensitive men are great, studies show that what initially catches their eye is rugged, masculine looks (square jaw, large nose, etc.) and a carefree attitude. The only time a sensitive guy (small chin, raised eyebrows, caring) might have the upper hand is when a woman is looking for a marriage partner – but too much sensitivity (being a pushover, indecisiveness) can count against him.
Myth 3: No Such Thing as Being Too Picky
If you don’t mind the possibility of keeping your own company for the duration of your life, then this may indeed be true. Otherwise, you are living in the popular myth that there is a perfect person out there for each of us. There is a very fine line between being picky and compromising the reality of your relationships. Popular research suggests that we can be perfectly happy with only 80 percent of our needs met.
Myth 4: Doesn’t Matter What They Say, I’m the Only One Who Knows
When we are newly in love or infatuation, our brains are usually so clouded with morphine-like chemicals that it’s hard to see any bad in the world, much less the bad in our new love. Usually, the people who can see the situation clearly are our friends and family, so while you may think you know better than they do, it is certainly at least worth listening to their concerns.
Myth 5: Living Together Irons Out the Wrinkles
It’s common belief that living together prior to marriage helps couples iron out the small wrinkles of joint living, but what research has found is that it actually increases your chances of divorce. Couples who choose to live together are, one, slightly hesitant about the union, and two, comfortable in the fact that if it doesn’t work out they can move on. This is the wrong mindset for a long and happy marriage.
Myth 6: Third Time’s the Charm
A lot of multiple-divorce couples like to chant “Third time’s the charm” when getting married for their third, and hopefully last, time. They feel comforted by this phrase, as does their partner in cahoots. The truth of the matter is, however, that a second marriage has a 60 to 67 percent chance of failure, while a third marriage has a dismal 73 to 75 percent chance. Don’t kid yourself.
Myth 7: Pickup Lines Never Work
Research shows that humorous and complimentary pickup lines work on some men and women if delivered with honesty, creativity and sincerity.
Myth 8: Impossible to Love Two People At Once
If an individual falls for two people who possess two very opposing, yet complimentary personalities, together they may add up to the ultimate partner. This is why it’s easier than some people think to fall in love with two people.
Myth 9: All Men are Cheaters
There is research out there stating that men are the bigger cheaters, and that it is also easy to find research pointing to men and women as cheating fairly equally, as well as evidence concluding that women are the bigger cheaters. If there is anything we can conclude from this, it’s that it is the person who cheats, and not the gender, so we should look at the individual and the signs they give (male or female) in order to decipher their potential as a mate.
Myth 10: Cold Shower
Some people believe that after a particularly heated date that ends without a bang, it’s a good idea to relieve any pent up, lingering sexual energy by taking a cold shower. What research has found, however, is cold showers actually stimulate the production of hormones and sexual desire, thereby producing the opposite effect of what one would hope.
So now these 10 top dating myths has been debunked. Are they any other dating myths that need debunking? Share with us here!
Quoted: http://lovebirds.sg/2010/10/29/10-top-dating-myths-debunked/
Persecution of the Righteous
When we think about trials and hardships, like Job's friends in the Bible, we think that is must have had to be a consequence of our sins. God is upset about the sins we are committing so He is punishing us. However, we see through Daniel's life that persecution is also a natural territory for the righteous. "Daniel's persecution did not come about due to his sin, but rather because of his righteous. He suffered because he was godly. When Daniel was found guilty under the law of the Medes and the Persians, the king was unable to save him. But God's hand was not hindered. Darius believed God would deliver Daniel; he assured him of God's protection as he went to the lion's den. God sent His angel and shut the lion's mouths. He also brought about the destruction of Daniel's enemies. The account of Daniel's deliverance was written to assure the saints of every age that God is able to deliver His people, even when men are unable to do so. What the king of the most powerful kingdom on earth could not do, God did. God knows how to deliver his own from judgment and how to deliver His enemies to judgment." When we are being persecuted the only way we can stand is to remain blameless and our God will do the rest. God is a just God and His justice not only rescues the righteous, but places a sentence that must be paid by the unrighteous. Be blameless in the eyes of our Lord, so that in days of great trial, we might be able to wait on our God, with confidence, to deliver us.
Living Life
Living Life
Monday, January 24, 2011
List of Christian Bookstores in Singapore
Central
Baptist Book Store
1 Goldhill Plaza #01-25 Singapore 308899
Tel: 62537578 Fax: 62524450
Email: bbsbooks@singnet.com.sg
Crest Christian Book Corner
14 Scotts Road, #05-58,Far East Plaza, Singapore 228213
Tel: 62358593 / 67381097
Faith Hope Love
61 Stamford Road, #01-01, Stamford Court, Singapore 178892Tel: 63349908 / 63349602
FEBC Bookroom
9A Gilstead RoadSingapore 309063Tel: 62549188 Fax: 62513891Email: febcbkrm@febc.edu.sg
Integrity Media Asia
95 Kallang Avenue#05-00, AIS Industrial BuildingSingapore 339420
Mount Zion
Raffles Place MRT Station #B1-07/08Tel: +65 6532 4252
The Rock Bookstore
Suntec City Mall #03-063/065Telephone Number 63338856 Zone
Tecman Holdings Pte Ltd
#04-47 (wedding & Chinese)#04-01 (Main Retail)Bras Basah ComplexBlk 231 Bain StreetSingapore 180231Tel: 6338-6763/4 Fax: 6338-8236
Trumpet Praise Pte Ltd
Plaza Singapura #B2-0568 Orchard Rd Singapore 238839Tel : 63344507 Fax : 63399932
Novena Square(Velocity) #03-37238 Thomson Road S(307683)
Emmanuel Books & Gifts Pte Ltd60 Stevens Road Singapore 257854.Web: http://www.emmanuel-books.com/Email: emmanuelbooks@gmail.com
North
Trumpet Praise Pte LtdJunction 8 Shopping Centre,9 Bishan Place #04-06 S(579837)
Campus Crusade Asia Limited – Mass Media1 Lorong 2 Toa Payoh#01-02 Yellow Pages Building Singapore 319637
Mount Zion
Sun Plaza Shopping Centre #03-09Tel: +65 6481 3550
SouthActs Lifestyle Pte Ltd
18 Cross Street B1-05,China Square Central,Singapore 048423Tel : 64385585
SKS Books Warehouse315 Outram Road, Tan Boon Liat Building, #09-03, S(169074).Tel: 62279700 Fax: 62214595 Email: enquiry@sksbooks.com
Bible Witness Bookroom
Block 531 Upper Cross St. #02-48Hong Lim Complex Singapore 050531Tel: 6438-0578 Email: biblewit@singnet.com.sg
Biblical Graduate School of Theology Bookroom31 Tanjong Pagar Road,Singapore 088454.
East
Attributes Pte Ltd Singapore Expo Hall 8
Bethesda Book Centre
Blk 126 Lorong 1 Toa Payoh #01-551Singapore 310126Tel : 65-6253 1971Fax: 65-6255 2374Email: enquiries@bethesdabookcentre.com.sg
Blk 80 Marine Parade Central #01-784Singapore 440080Tel: 65-6348 3775
Mount Zion Century Square Shopping Centre #04-02Tel: +65 6789 3330
NavPress Warehouse117 Lorong K, Telok Kurau, Singapore 425758Tel: 63444133 Email: info@navmedia.com
True Vine Christian Bookroom
(Katong)865 Mountbatten Road, #B1-57, Katong Shopping Centre, Singapore 437844Tel: 63447808 / 678803933
Simei St 6 #04-10,Eastpoint MallSingapore 528833Tel: 67871424 Fax: 67880393
Trumpet Praise Parkway Parade
80 Marine Parade #03-32 S(449269)
North-East
Shalom Christian Media8 New Industrial Road, #03-01,LHK 3 Building, Singapore 536200Tel: 63834341 Fax: 63834661Email: contactscm@shalomrb.com
TULIP Reformed Book CentreHougang Central Post OfficeP.O.Box 336, S(915312)Email: contact@etulip.orgHP: 81231635
[Beng Kui]Xi An Bookstore212 Hougang St 21 #01-339 Singapore 530212Tel : 62834357WestAttributes Pte LtdNo. 1, Jurong West Street 91Singapore 649041Tel: (65) 6795-7787Fax: (65) 6795-7737
Source: marked by faith blog
Quoted: http://forums.sgclub.com/singapore/list_christian_bookstores_183569.html
Crucial characteristics of lasting love
Crucial characteristics of lasting love
By Dee Anne Merriman
First comes that split second of physical attraction. Next, that thrilling feeling of chemistry. But when the veil of romance starts to lift, what’s life really like off the dance floor?
Too often, love is blind
When Jenny and Michael met, they were instantly attracted to each other. Those electrifying sparks started flying. In an exciting whirlwind of parties and romantic dates, they swept each other off their feet. They decided to get married and live happily ever after. Years later the hormones had calmed down (and so had the fireworks). When the smoke cleared, the mismatches started to emerge. Her passion to shop and his questionable money decisions created constant financial stress. He liked to hang with the guys and play sports. She loved to go to the theater with friends. They disagreed on children and family values, especially religion. Communication broke down. Eventually, they grew apart.
Sound familiar?
A physical match is essential at the start, but the excitement of a budding new romance eventually wears off. Making thoughtful dating decisions can mean the difference between revolving relationships and finding lasting love.
Dating experts outline seven match areas to consider:
1. Physical appearance
While physical appearance and attraction draw two people together at first, these aspects will affect the rest of their lives. If working out and staying fit is important to you, will it bum you out if your mate doesn’t share your quest for rock-hard abs?
2. Emotional maturity
Is this person emotionally mature and centered or still lugging around some trunk-sized baggage? How does your sweetheart relate to family and friends? Is he or she emotionally supportive or have control issues? Is your mate aware of his or her own issues and interested in addressing them?
3. Lifestyle choices
This includes career and social lives, common interests, leisure time activities and energy levels. Would she rather join the bowling league or the metropolitan symphony? Does he have lots of energy for activities with friends while she’d rather rest and chill out at home?
4. Financial compatibility
This is a hot bed for most couples. It includes income levels, savings goals and views on handling money. How do you each want to spend, save and invest? Is one person a spender while the other saves? Is one person financially responsible while the other plays catch-up with child support and bills?
5. Value structure
This area is often overlooked but has a tremendous impact on your life. It includes the big values: honesty, integrity, loyalty, views on family and children, religion and spirituality, life goals and the treatment and care for others. Does your mate follow through on promises made? Would you say this person is trustworthy? Will you always be there for each other in a pinch?
6. Marriage and intimacy
Everyone does not share the same idea of marriage. The big questions to address are: What do you and your mate expect from marriage? Is he or she looking for a soul mate? Do you both want close intimacy beyond the physical aspect, including with your friendships and in private communications with each other?
7. Intelligence
Having similar education levels increases your chances of sharing matching school and social experiences, intellectual interests and career goals. What topics do you and your honey like to talk about? Conversation limited to sports or shopping may get boring to someone who likes to ponder philosophy and bluster about business. While you don’t have to match exactly in each area, look at the big picture and make sure you match closely enough in the important areas of your life to up your chances of finding a love that will go the distance.
Dee Anne Merriman is a freelance writer who often covers relationship issues.
Interested in taking Dr. Helen Fisher’s personality test? Visit Chemistry.com today!
Quoted: http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=9862&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=682742
By Dee Anne Merriman
First comes that split second of physical attraction. Next, that thrilling feeling of chemistry. But when the veil of romance starts to lift, what’s life really like off the dance floor?
Too often, love is blind
When Jenny and Michael met, they were instantly attracted to each other. Those electrifying sparks started flying. In an exciting whirlwind of parties and romantic dates, they swept each other off their feet. They decided to get married and live happily ever after. Years later the hormones had calmed down (and so had the fireworks). When the smoke cleared, the mismatches started to emerge. Her passion to shop and his questionable money decisions created constant financial stress. He liked to hang with the guys and play sports. She loved to go to the theater with friends. They disagreed on children and family values, especially religion. Communication broke down. Eventually, they grew apart.
Sound familiar?
A physical match is essential at the start, but the excitement of a budding new romance eventually wears off. Making thoughtful dating decisions can mean the difference between revolving relationships and finding lasting love.
Dating experts outline seven match areas to consider:
1. Physical appearance
While physical appearance and attraction draw two people together at first, these aspects will affect the rest of their lives. If working out and staying fit is important to you, will it bum you out if your mate doesn’t share your quest for rock-hard abs?
2. Emotional maturity
Is this person emotionally mature and centered or still lugging around some trunk-sized baggage? How does your sweetheart relate to family and friends? Is he or she emotionally supportive or have control issues? Is your mate aware of his or her own issues and interested in addressing them?
3. Lifestyle choices
This includes career and social lives, common interests, leisure time activities and energy levels. Would she rather join the bowling league or the metropolitan symphony? Does he have lots of energy for activities with friends while she’d rather rest and chill out at home?
4. Financial compatibility
This is a hot bed for most couples. It includes income levels, savings goals and views on handling money. How do you each want to spend, save and invest? Is one person a spender while the other saves? Is one person financially responsible while the other plays catch-up with child support and bills?
5. Value structure
This area is often overlooked but has a tremendous impact on your life. It includes the big values: honesty, integrity, loyalty, views on family and children, religion and spirituality, life goals and the treatment and care for others. Does your mate follow through on promises made? Would you say this person is trustworthy? Will you always be there for each other in a pinch?
6. Marriage and intimacy
Everyone does not share the same idea of marriage. The big questions to address are: What do you and your mate expect from marriage? Is he or she looking for a soul mate? Do you both want close intimacy beyond the physical aspect, including with your friendships and in private communications with each other?
7. Intelligence
Having similar education levels increases your chances of sharing matching school and social experiences, intellectual interests and career goals. What topics do you and your honey like to talk about? Conversation limited to sports or shopping may get boring to someone who likes to ponder philosophy and bluster about business. While you don’t have to match exactly in each area, look at the big picture and make sure you match closely enough in the important areas of your life to up your chances of finding a love that will go the distance.
Dee Anne Merriman is a freelance writer who often covers relationship issues.
Interested in taking Dr. Helen Fisher’s personality test? Visit Chemistry.com today!
Quoted: http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=9862&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=682742
18 Common Work E-mail Mistakes
18 Common Work E-mail Mistakes
Andrew G. Rosen, On Wednesday 19 January 2011, 3:10 SGT
Most of us rely on e-mail as one of our primary communication tools. And given the number of messages we send and receive, we do it with remarkable success.
But as with anything, the more e-mails we send, the more likely we are to screw one up. And simple e-mail mistakes can be disastrous. They can cost us a raise, promotion--even a job.
With a new year upon us, this is the perfect time to go through some of the worst e-mail mistakes employees make and how to avoid them.
1. Sending before you mean to. Enter the recipient's e-mail address only when your e-mail is ready to be sent. This helps reduce the risk of an embarrassing misfire, such as sending an important e-mail to the wrong person or e-mailing a half-written note.
[See 9 Little-Known Ways to Damage Your Reputation at Work.]
2. Forgetting the attachment. If your e-mail includes an attachment, upload the file to the e-mail before composing it. This eliminates the embarrassing mistake of forgetting it before hitting "send," and having to send another e-mail saying you forgot to attach the document.
3. Expecting an instant response. Don't send an e-mail and show up at the recipient's desk 30 seconds later asking if they've received it. They did, and they'll answer at their convenience. That's the point of e-mail.
4. Forwarding useless e-mails. I've never seen a single e-mail forward at work that was beneficial. Whether it's a silly joke or a heartwarming charity, there's never a time to share an e-mail forward using your work e-mail.
5. Not reviewing all new messages before replying. When you return to the office after a week or more away, review all new e-mails before firing off responses. It might be hard to accept, but odds are, things did march on without you. Replying to something that was already handled by a co-worker creates extra communication, which can lead to confusion, errors, and at the very least, wasted time for everyone involved.
6. Omitting recipients when you "reply all." Unless there's an important reason to omit someone, don't arbitrarily leave people off the response if they were included on the original message.
7. Including your e-mail signature again and again. Nor do you need to include it at the end of an e-mail you send to your long-time co-worker who sits six feet away. If you have your e-mail program set to automatically generate a signature with each new message, take a second to delete it when communicating with someone who knows who you are. It's always wise to include your phone number, but the entire blurb with your title and mailing address is often nothing but clutter.
8. Composing the note too quickly. Don't be careless; write every e-mail as if it will be read at Saint Peter's Square during the blessing of a new Pope. Be respectful with your words and take pride in every communication.
9. Violating your company's e-mail policy. Many companies have aggressive spam filters in place that monitor "blue" language. From that famous four-letter word to simple terms, such as "job search," don't end up tripping the system by letting your guard down.
10. Failing to include basic greetings. Simple pleasantries do the trick. Say "hi" at the start of the message and "thanks" at the end. Be sure to use the recipient's name. Be polite yet brief with your courtesy.
11. E-mailing when you're angry. Don't do it. Ever. Recall buttons are far from a perfect science, and sending a business e-mail tainted by emotion is often a catastrophic mistake. It sounds cliche, but sleep on it. Save the message as a draft and see if you still want to send it the next morning.
[See Don't Make These Interview Mistakes.]
12. Underestimating the importance of the subject line. The subject line is your headline. Make it interesting, and you'll increase the odds of getting the recipient's attention. Our inboxes are cluttered; you need to be creative and direct to help the recipient cut through the noise. You should consistently use meaningful and descriptive subject lines. This will help your colleagues determine what you're writing about and build your "inbox street cred," which means important messages are more likely to be read.
13. Using incorrect subject lines. Change the subject line if you're changing the topic of conversation. Better yet, start a new e-mail thread.
14. Sending the wrong attachment. If you double-check an attachment immediately before sending and decide that you need to make changes, don't forget to update the source file. Making corrections to the version that's attached to the e-mail does not often work, and it can lead to different versions of the same doc floating around.
15. Not putting an e-mail in context. Even if you were talking to someone an hour ago about something, remind them in the e-mail why you're writing. In this multi-tasking world of ours, it's easy for even the sharpest minds to forget what's going on.
16. Using BCC too often. Use BCC (blind carbon copy) sparingly. Even though it's supposed to be a secret, it rarely is. Burn someone once, and they'll never trust you again. Likewise, forwarding e-mail is a great way to destroy your credibility. When people send you something, they aren't expecting you to pass it on to your co-workers. The e-mail might make its way back to the sender, who will see that their original message was shared. They might not call you out on it, but they'll make a mental note that you can't be trusted.
[For more career advice, visit U.S. News Careers, or find us on Facebook or Twitter.]
17. Relying too much on e-mail. News flash! No one is sitting around staring at their inbox waiting for your e-mail. If something is urgent, use another means of communication. A red "rush" exclamation point doesn't compare to getting up from your desk and conducting business in person.
18. Hitting "reply all" unintentionally. This is a biggie. And it's not just embarrassing; depending on what you wrote in that e-mail, it can ruin your relationship with a co-worker or even your boss. Take extra care whenever you respond so you don't hit this fatal button.
Now it's time to fess up: Are you guilty of any of these common work e-mail mistakes? Any you'd like to add to the list?
Andrew G. Rosen is the founder and editor of Jobacle.com, a career advice blog. He is also the author of How to Quit Your Job.
Quoted: http://sg.finance.yahoo.com/news/18-Common-Work-Email-usnews-1004018741.html?x=0
Andrew G. Rosen, On Wednesday 19 January 2011, 3:10 SGT
Most of us rely on e-mail as one of our primary communication tools. And given the number of messages we send and receive, we do it with remarkable success.
But as with anything, the more e-mails we send, the more likely we are to screw one up. And simple e-mail mistakes can be disastrous. They can cost us a raise, promotion--even a job.
With a new year upon us, this is the perfect time to go through some of the worst e-mail mistakes employees make and how to avoid them.
1. Sending before you mean to. Enter the recipient's e-mail address only when your e-mail is ready to be sent. This helps reduce the risk of an embarrassing misfire, such as sending an important e-mail to the wrong person or e-mailing a half-written note.
[See 9 Little-Known Ways to Damage Your Reputation at Work.]
2. Forgetting the attachment. If your e-mail includes an attachment, upload the file to the e-mail before composing it. This eliminates the embarrassing mistake of forgetting it before hitting "send," and having to send another e-mail saying you forgot to attach the document.
3. Expecting an instant response. Don't send an e-mail and show up at the recipient's desk 30 seconds later asking if they've received it. They did, and they'll answer at their convenience. That's the point of e-mail.
4. Forwarding useless e-mails. I've never seen a single e-mail forward at work that was beneficial. Whether it's a silly joke or a heartwarming charity, there's never a time to share an e-mail forward using your work e-mail.
5. Not reviewing all new messages before replying. When you return to the office after a week or more away, review all new e-mails before firing off responses. It might be hard to accept, but odds are, things did march on without you. Replying to something that was already handled by a co-worker creates extra communication, which can lead to confusion, errors, and at the very least, wasted time for everyone involved.
6. Omitting recipients when you "reply all." Unless there's an important reason to omit someone, don't arbitrarily leave people off the response if they were included on the original message.
7. Including your e-mail signature again and again. Nor do you need to include it at the end of an e-mail you send to your long-time co-worker who sits six feet away. If you have your e-mail program set to automatically generate a signature with each new message, take a second to delete it when communicating with someone who knows who you are. It's always wise to include your phone number, but the entire blurb with your title and mailing address is often nothing but clutter.
8. Composing the note too quickly. Don't be careless; write every e-mail as if it will be read at Saint Peter's Square during the blessing of a new Pope. Be respectful with your words and take pride in every communication.
9. Violating your company's e-mail policy. Many companies have aggressive spam filters in place that monitor "blue" language. From that famous four-letter word to simple terms, such as "job search," don't end up tripping the system by letting your guard down.
10. Failing to include basic greetings. Simple pleasantries do the trick. Say "hi" at the start of the message and "thanks" at the end. Be sure to use the recipient's name. Be polite yet brief with your courtesy.
11. E-mailing when you're angry. Don't do it. Ever. Recall buttons are far from a perfect science, and sending a business e-mail tainted by emotion is often a catastrophic mistake. It sounds cliche, but sleep on it. Save the message as a draft and see if you still want to send it the next morning.
[See Don't Make These Interview Mistakes.]
12. Underestimating the importance of the subject line. The subject line is your headline. Make it interesting, and you'll increase the odds of getting the recipient's attention. Our inboxes are cluttered; you need to be creative and direct to help the recipient cut through the noise. You should consistently use meaningful and descriptive subject lines. This will help your colleagues determine what you're writing about and build your "inbox street cred," which means important messages are more likely to be read.
13. Using incorrect subject lines. Change the subject line if you're changing the topic of conversation. Better yet, start a new e-mail thread.
14. Sending the wrong attachment. If you double-check an attachment immediately before sending and decide that you need to make changes, don't forget to update the source file. Making corrections to the version that's attached to the e-mail does not often work, and it can lead to different versions of the same doc floating around.
15. Not putting an e-mail in context. Even if you were talking to someone an hour ago about something, remind them in the e-mail why you're writing. In this multi-tasking world of ours, it's easy for even the sharpest minds to forget what's going on.
16. Using BCC too often. Use BCC (blind carbon copy) sparingly. Even though it's supposed to be a secret, it rarely is. Burn someone once, and they'll never trust you again. Likewise, forwarding e-mail is a great way to destroy your credibility. When people send you something, they aren't expecting you to pass it on to your co-workers. The e-mail might make its way back to the sender, who will see that their original message was shared. They might not call you out on it, but they'll make a mental note that you can't be trusted.
[For more career advice, visit U.S. News Careers, or find us on Facebook or Twitter.]
17. Relying too much on e-mail. News flash! No one is sitting around staring at their inbox waiting for your e-mail. If something is urgent, use another means of communication. A red "rush" exclamation point doesn't compare to getting up from your desk and conducting business in person.
18. Hitting "reply all" unintentionally. This is a biggie. And it's not just embarrassing; depending on what you wrote in that e-mail, it can ruin your relationship with a co-worker or even your boss. Take extra care whenever you respond so you don't hit this fatal button.
Now it's time to fess up: Are you guilty of any of these common work e-mail mistakes? Any you'd like to add to the list?
Andrew G. Rosen is the founder and editor of Jobacle.com, a career advice blog. He is also the author of How to Quit Your Job.
Quoted: http://sg.finance.yahoo.com/news/18-Common-Work-Email-usnews-1004018741.html?x=0
Confidence in God
Do you trust in God to the point of death? There are many times whn we feel we are a danger and decide for ourselves that God does not want us to be bold in those situation. We think that God would never require death of us or even before we can finish that thought, we are running in the other direction. But in Daniel 6, we see Daniel's response to the death sentence he is to receive. "He knew that his life was at stake - and yet he went to his house and kneeled on his knees and prayed as he did aforetime. He did not on the the one hand run into danger, nor did he on the other flinch from it. Here was no carnal policy, no time-serving, no crooked contrivance, no love of expediency. He made a straight path for his feet; he did as usual, neither more nor less; and why? ... he believed in his God. Mark here the fruits of daily communion with God; see how a habit of prayer will product quietness and assurance in the hour of trial and diffculty. There never have been lacking lewd men of the baser sort, who say, 'Where is the use of your praying? What good will it do you? But wait until the days of affliction come upon you, and the Lord will provide you with an answer. A habit of prayer will impart special reliance upon God in time of danger; it will give a special boldness; it will secure a special deliverance, for those who honor God He will honor." There is a direct correlation with prayer and the spirit of fatih that is developed through it. It is through our times of prayers that we grow in our knowledge of the attributes of God and experience the power of answered prayer. If we know that God will never fail us and that He hears all of our prayers, what are we to fear?
Living Life
Living Life
Sunday, January 23, 2011
My Response to God
My response to God today....after the heavy presence of God during church service. I was asked by Lionel..however I find it difficult to answer due to the fact there are somethings I feel reluctant to share. However I will type it here because I felt stronly to following.
Here are my responses, not the process which I had shared purposely during to avoid speaking the truth. Forgive me on that.
So here are my responses:
1. Spend more time hearing God
2. Prayer guide
3. Commit my emotions to the Lord (in particular to LYP which I am reluctant but yet slowly I sense it should be done. However need to do it appropiately - will do final accountability before the final sealing)
4. Be - living God's promise
Reminded:
1. Dine with Jesus :) (Tabernacle Enoucnte at BB/GG camp site at Sembawang)
2. Promises and covenant with God on issues and things of life
Here are my responses, not the process which I had shared purposely during to avoid speaking the truth. Forgive me on that.
So here are my responses:
1. Spend more time hearing God
2. Prayer guide
3. Commit my emotions to the Lord (in particular to LYP which I am reluctant but yet slowly I sense it should be done. However need to do it appropiately - will do final accountability before the final sealing)
4. Be - living God's promise
Reminded:
1. Dine with Jesus :) (Tabernacle Enoucnte at BB/GG camp site at Sembawang)
2. Promises and covenant with God on issues and things of life
Saturday, January 22, 2011
3 good reasons to make the first move
3 good reasons to make the first move
By Theo Pauline Nestor
When my friend Stuart was a teenager, he and his friend were on a mission to find some fireworks. They stumbled into a convenience store where Stuart found himself face to face with a young and attractive clerk. Stuart then meekly inquired, “Do you have any firecrackers here?” The young woman, he recalls, scanned him from head to toe in a slow once-over and then breathily replied, “Just me, honey.”
Shy and flustered, Stuart admits he left the store that day pretty darn fast, but also confesses that most of his relationships throughout his life have been initiated by women because, as he tells it, he’s a “chicken” when it comes to making the first move. While I rather admire the nervy convenience store clerk, I tend to be a little more like Catherine, a 41-year-old nurse who was taught that nice girls don’t make the first move. Two years ago, Catherine decided to challenge the rules she grew up with and contacted a guy on Match.com whose profile caught her eye.
“This was a biggie for me,” Catherine says, “after being raised by a Catholic ex-Marine with four daughters who always said guys will think you are easy if you call them. Of course, he refused to let us pierce our ears or wear makeup because he wasn’t, after all, ‘raising a bunch of harlots.’” Today, she’s still going strong with the man with the intriguing profile. All good-girl Catherine needed to do was take a chance and break out of her ingrained (but outdated) patterns concerning dating stereotypes.
Like Catherine, many women have decided they’re not interested in waiting around and have realized that there are a lot of good reasons why a man might not be making the first move. Here are a few possibilities to consider:
1. He’s not so good at flirting
You might think of it this way: there’s one set of skills that are crucial for initiating relationships (flirting, for example), and there’s a completely separate set of skills for sustaining an established relationship. The man you’re interested in could be very skilled at sustaining a relationship, but have no clue when it comes flirting (and if you think about it, a guy like this might be a very good catch). Remember my friend, Stuart? He belongs to the latter category. “I’ve made the first move a couple of times,” Stuart says, “and they’ve been disasters. One previous girlfriend noted that I have zero flirting skills, which is what most people use to judge the terrain before making a move. Because I just lumber in, it’s usually a disaster. So almost all of my, uh, dates have been initiated by the woman or have been low-risk setups.”
2. He’s just a wee bit intimidated
Remember that annoying “Out of your league” expression? As in, “Don’t even try it, man. She’s waaaaaaaaay out of your league.” Well, as silly as that sort of thinking is to us now that we’re grown, it can linger on in some men’s brains and create confidence-crushing fantasies, such as this one: 1) Glance at beautiful woman; 2) Wonder momentarily if maybe, just maybe, she’d… 3) Have fantasy brutally interrupted by memory of “frenemy” (think Reggie from the Archie comic books or Iago from Othello) jeering: “Forget about it, man. She’s waaaaaay outta your...” and scene. Some fantasy, right?
In fact, I think this is exactly what may have happened to Sara’s future husband, Tom. At the time — some 15 years ago now — Sara and Tom were both working as promoters in the music industry. “People at radio stations all around the country would say to me, in a sing-song voice, ‘Somebody liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes you!’” says Sara, now a 44-year-old psychotherapist. “It actually began to annoy me, because I felt that if he liked me so much he should let me know. I refused to make the next move because I thought the whole thing smacked of high school.”
But when Tom did finally work up the nerve to call Sara, her roommate told him she was in Santa Fe for the weekend. Tom then conjured up the idea that if a beautiful woman like Sara were in Santa Fe, she must be there on a romantic weekend with a boyfriend. So, intimidated and discouraged, Tom decided not to ask Sara out. A year later when Sara spotted Tom at a party, she decided to make the first move. “Are you ever going to ask me out?” asked Sara. “I will now,” Tom replied. And he did. They’ve been married for 15 years.
3. He’s been treated badly in past relationships
Maybe you’re a bit like Sara and you’re thinking, “If he likes me so much, surely he can ask me out!” But before you dismiss him on the grounds of “not stepping up to the plate,” stop to consider what he’s been through. A painful, recent rejection — a long relationship ending suddenly against his wishes, perhaps — might be one reason why he’s hesitant to put himself on the line.
Sometimes, making “the first move” doesn’t even mean asking the guy out. It can be as easy as taking the conversation with an acquaintance to the next level by turning it from what’s happening in the news to what’s happening over the weekend. As Sara recalls, “It worked out well, my making the first move, but there was a lot of groundwork to be put down beforehand that helped me make that move a little bit easier.”
Theo Pauline Nestor is a regular contributor to Happen magazine and author of How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed: A Memoir of Starting Over (Crown 2008).
Quoted: http://yahoo.match.com/cp.aspx?cpp=/cppp/yahoo/article.html&articleid=11461&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=723939&ER=sessiontimeout
By Theo Pauline Nestor
When my friend Stuart was a teenager, he and his friend were on a mission to find some fireworks. They stumbled into a convenience store where Stuart found himself face to face with a young and attractive clerk. Stuart then meekly inquired, “Do you have any firecrackers here?” The young woman, he recalls, scanned him from head to toe in a slow once-over and then breathily replied, “Just me, honey.”
Shy and flustered, Stuart admits he left the store that day pretty darn fast, but also confesses that most of his relationships throughout his life have been initiated by women because, as he tells it, he’s a “chicken” when it comes to making the first move. While I rather admire the nervy convenience store clerk, I tend to be a little more like Catherine, a 41-year-old nurse who was taught that nice girls don’t make the first move. Two years ago, Catherine decided to challenge the rules she grew up with and contacted a guy on Match.com whose profile caught her eye.
“This was a biggie for me,” Catherine says, “after being raised by a Catholic ex-Marine with four daughters who always said guys will think you are easy if you call them. Of course, he refused to let us pierce our ears or wear makeup because he wasn’t, after all, ‘raising a bunch of harlots.’” Today, she’s still going strong with the man with the intriguing profile. All good-girl Catherine needed to do was take a chance and break out of her ingrained (but outdated) patterns concerning dating stereotypes.
Like Catherine, many women have decided they’re not interested in waiting around and have realized that there are a lot of good reasons why a man might not be making the first move. Here are a few possibilities to consider:
1. He’s not so good at flirting
You might think of it this way: there’s one set of skills that are crucial for initiating relationships (flirting, for example), and there’s a completely separate set of skills for sustaining an established relationship. The man you’re interested in could be very skilled at sustaining a relationship, but have no clue when it comes flirting (and if you think about it, a guy like this might be a very good catch). Remember my friend, Stuart? He belongs to the latter category. “I’ve made the first move a couple of times,” Stuart says, “and they’ve been disasters. One previous girlfriend noted that I have zero flirting skills, which is what most people use to judge the terrain before making a move. Because I just lumber in, it’s usually a disaster. So almost all of my, uh, dates have been initiated by the woman or have been low-risk setups.”
2. He’s just a wee bit intimidated
Remember that annoying “Out of your league” expression? As in, “Don’t even try it, man. She’s waaaaaaaaay out of your league.” Well, as silly as that sort of thinking is to us now that we’re grown, it can linger on in some men’s brains and create confidence-crushing fantasies, such as this one: 1) Glance at beautiful woman; 2) Wonder momentarily if maybe, just maybe, she’d… 3) Have fantasy brutally interrupted by memory of “frenemy” (think Reggie from the Archie comic books or Iago from Othello) jeering: “Forget about it, man. She’s waaaaaay outta your...” and scene. Some fantasy, right?
In fact, I think this is exactly what may have happened to Sara’s future husband, Tom. At the time — some 15 years ago now — Sara and Tom were both working as promoters in the music industry. “People at radio stations all around the country would say to me, in a sing-song voice, ‘Somebody liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes you!’” says Sara, now a 44-year-old psychotherapist. “It actually began to annoy me, because I felt that if he liked me so much he should let me know. I refused to make the next move because I thought the whole thing smacked of high school.”
But when Tom did finally work up the nerve to call Sara, her roommate told him she was in Santa Fe for the weekend. Tom then conjured up the idea that if a beautiful woman like Sara were in Santa Fe, she must be there on a romantic weekend with a boyfriend. So, intimidated and discouraged, Tom decided not to ask Sara out. A year later when Sara spotted Tom at a party, she decided to make the first move. “Are you ever going to ask me out?” asked Sara. “I will now,” Tom replied. And he did. They’ve been married for 15 years.
3. He’s been treated badly in past relationships
Maybe you’re a bit like Sara and you’re thinking, “If he likes me so much, surely he can ask me out!” But before you dismiss him on the grounds of “not stepping up to the plate,” stop to consider what he’s been through. A painful, recent rejection — a long relationship ending suddenly against his wishes, perhaps — might be one reason why he’s hesitant to put himself on the line.
Sometimes, making “the first move” doesn’t even mean asking the guy out. It can be as easy as taking the conversation with an acquaintance to the next level by turning it from what’s happening in the news to what’s happening over the weekend. As Sara recalls, “It worked out well, my making the first move, but there was a lot of groundwork to be put down beforehand that helped me make that move a little bit easier.”
Theo Pauline Nestor is a regular contributor to Happen magazine and author of How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed: A Memoir of Starting Over (Crown 2008).
Quoted: http://yahoo.match.com/cp.aspx?cpp=/cppp/yahoo/article.html&articleid=11461&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=723939&ER=sessiontimeout
Abiding with Christ
When we abide in Christ, we are living a higher calling. Throughout the New Testament, it is written that if we say we abide in Him, we must walk like Jesus did upon the earth and we are to follow His commandments. It also states that there is no life outside of abiding in Him. In MacDuff's sermon, "Abiding with God," he challenges us on how to live a life that abides in Christ. "Be active, be industrious, be diligent in your ordinary pursuits. This is your Father's will. Be an example of blameless integrity and of self0denying benevolence-be faithful in the discharge of all the duties which are lawfully required of you, belonging to the station which God's providence has called you to fill . Do all this from a purer and higher principle than wordlings do it, on the high principle of approving yourself to your 'Father in heaven'. Do it with a view to glorify God on earth - that the religion you profess may be honored - that Christ may be glorified - that the cause of the gospel may be advanced. While you aim, as you may lawfully aim, at success in the business of this life - never forget that your birthright it eternal life - that heaven is the home for which you are summoned to prepare - that immortality is the prize for which you ought to be seeking. " One thing we ought to remember is that just as we are called to live according to this calling, God in His all-encompassing grace and mercy will give us the strength to fulfill it. As you lift up prayers to God asking Him to abide with you, witness your life transform as He answers your prayers.
Living Life
Living Life
Friday, January 21, 2011
Your Handbag, Your Self
Your Handbag, Your Self
The Lady Who Luxes
Price: $1,030
A ladylike Louis Vuitton bag is the standard arm candy of a woman who has feminine -- and expensive -- taste. "This woman is a label freak," Collins says. Adds Zoe: "She has a job, but she may not need the money." Minkoff notes: "You'll never find her outside her house without the 'It' heels."
The Pantsuit Executive
Price: $1,150
A leather handbag from a luxury house such as Mulberry completes the no-nonsense executive's professional look. "With the power women of today, they want to be taken seriously," Zoe says. "They also want to look fashion-forward." Schelter: "It is very easy to put files and a laptop in here."
by Meredith StebbinsThursday, January 20, 2011
What your purse is saying about you.
To assess a lady's character, look no further than the handbag she carries to work. "It is an absolute indicator of who they are and what their style is," says Rachel Zoe, celebrity stylist and entrepreneur. Since a purse's size and shape isn't limiting like a pair of skinny jeans, a bag is an easy way for a woman to express herself -- especially in the workplace. "For the majority of women, the handbag is the most important part of the outfit because it doesn't have to do with your body type," says Kate Schelter, a New York-based stylist and brand consultant. Perhaps that's why the global luxury handbag and accessories market is about $24 billion, according to Coach CEO Lew Frankfort.
Whether it's an oversize carryall or structured satchel, a bag's details -- right down to the buckle -- reveal clues about its owner. Not to mention that "how you wear the bag is just as important as the bag itself," adds Schelter. Slinging it across your body sends a different signal than nestling it on the crux of your arm. Having your assistant tote it for you says something, too.
In order to decode the language of work-bag-speak, Bloomberg Businessweek called on a panel of fashion experts, including Zoe; Schelter; International Best-Dressed List Hall of Fame honoree Amy Fine Collins; and handbag designer Rebecca Minkoff. Next time you're in the elevator, think twice about rifling around that mammoth hobo for your ID badge: You're giving off a disorganized vibe.
The Eternal Prepster
Price: $135
A woman who totes Longchamp's classic Le Pliage canvas bag to the office is conservative and traditional, yet secretly relishes carrying a status symbol. "She is wearing plaids and pearls," says Zoe. Adds Minkoff, the owner is "practical and loves a bag where she can carry all her essentials at once."
In order to decode the language of work-bag-speak, Bloomberg Businessweek called on a panel of fashion experts, including Zoe; Schelter; International Best-Dressed List Hall of Fame honoree Amy Fine Collins; and handbag designer Rebecca Minkoff. Next time you're in the elevator, think twice about rifling around that mammoth hobo for your ID badge: You're giving off a disorganized vibe.
The Eternal Prepster
Price: $135
A woman who totes Longchamp's classic Le Pliage canvas bag to the office is conservative and traditional, yet secretly relishes carrying a status symbol. "She is wearing plaids and pearls," says Zoe. Adds Minkoff, the owner is "practical and loves a bag where she can carry all her essentials at once."
The Upwardly Mobile Do-Gooder
Price: $60
The legions of young urbanites who cart around burlap bags designed by FEED, a philanthropic organization whose mission is to curb global hunger, are "obviously concerned about the world and the environment," says Zoe. She's "a little crunchy but brand-aware," adds Collins.
The Lady Who LuxesPrice: $1,030
A ladylike Louis Vuitton bag is the standard arm candy of a woman who has feminine -- and expensive -- taste. "This woman is a label freak," Collins says. Adds Zoe: "She has a job, but she may not need the money." Minkoff notes: "You'll never find her outside her house without the 'It' heels."
The Multitasker
Price: $595
A young gal who wears many hats in addition to her 9-to-5 job favors an expandable bag with many pockets. "She was voted Most Likely to Succeed in high school," Collins says. "She's a little bit safe in her dress, but in a cute way." The purpose of her tote "is to allow her to be hands-free," says Minkoff.
Price: $595
A young gal who wears many hats in addition to her 9-to-5 job favors an expandable bag with many pockets. "She was voted Most Likely to Succeed in high school," Collins says. "She's a little bit safe in her dress, but in a cute way." The purpose of her tote "is to allow her to be hands-free," says Minkoff.
The Brooklyner
Price: $258
A vibrant print bag is the sign of a city-dwelling hipster who doesn't care about dress codes. "She isn't too worried about her bag matching her shoes matching her belt matching her outfit," says Zoe. "It's for the style blogger," says Schelter. Collins adds: "She doesn't get her hair blown straight."
Price: $258
A vibrant print bag is the sign of a city-dwelling hipster who doesn't care about dress codes. "She isn't too worried about her bag matching her shoes matching her belt matching her outfit," says Zoe. "It's for the style blogger," says Schelter. Collins adds: "She doesn't get her hair blown straight."
The Power Mom
Price: $295
The leather shopper was made for working moms. She "needs room to keep all her necessities in place while running around in between meetings and playdates," says Minkoff. Its wearer likes labels, says Collins, "but doesn't need to show them." Schelter adds that its price makes it "still a treat."
Price: $295
The leather shopper was made for working moms. She "needs room to keep all her necessities in place while running around in between meetings and playdates," says Minkoff. Its wearer likes labels, says Collins, "but doesn't need to show them." Schelter adds that its price makes it "still a treat."
The Pantsuit Executive
Price: $1,150
A leather handbag from a luxury house such as Mulberry completes the no-nonsense executive's professional look. "With the power women of today, they want to be taken seriously," Zoe says. "They also want to look fashion-forward." Schelter: "It is very easy to put files and a laptop in here."
The Party Girl
Price: $295
A crossbody bag that doubles as a clutch screams "work hard, play harder." The owner is "still young enough to go out at night after work," says Schelter.
Price: $295
A crossbody bag that doubles as a clutch screams "work hard, play harder." The owner is "still young enough to go out at night after work," says Schelter.
The Early Adopter
Price: $825
A purse designed by an of-the-moment fashion darling suggests the wearer isn't referring to real machinery when talking about hardware. "This bag doesn't have a lot of functionality," says Zoe. "You make it work because you love it." Adds Collins, "People think she's on the cutting edge."
Price: $825
A purse designed by an of-the-moment fashion darling suggests the wearer isn't referring to real machinery when talking about hardware. "This bag doesn't have a lot of functionality," says Zoe. "You make it work because you love it." Adds Collins, "People think she's on the cutting edge."
The Hoarder
Price: $395
Massive oversize bags show "that maybe you're not as focused as you need to be because you can't edit what's in your handbag," says Schelter. "If you go to a job interview with a bag the size of your body filled with crap, they're going to be a little nervous," says Zoe. Collins agrees: "She is kind of a mess."
Price: $395
Massive oversize bags show "that maybe you're not as focused as you need to be because you can't edit what's in your handbag," says Schelter. "If you go to a job interview with a bag the size of your body filled with crap, they're going to be a little nervous," says Zoe. Collins agrees: "She is kind of a mess."
All Imaged: ©Illustration: Walter Newton Photography: Davies and Starr
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