I was asked are you feeling okay today?

After a yang ming jiu night, i woke up early with a good rest. Though my body is refreshed despite waking up at 0530. Somehow my emotion and facial seems to be sealed up. I wasn't really smiling as i feel troubled, drained or just don't know how to react from last night.... something that I thought may not be as intense....but somehow it is sooooo loud that I have to quench it mentally.....it is driving me crazy.

After the concert, as she decided to take cab. Back to bishan....well I thought I could hitch a ride. after a brief conversation though as i look back, I do think i sense that no hitching a ride back to bishan, A few things that accumulate or I believe contributed it;
1. failing to trust my instinct to get her something to eat
2. dis-chance for having dinner together.
3. the inner axiety or of wannting

I was trying to finish up my work which thank God I did... the reading pack after being vetted. I ate lunch with kenneth they all.....1200 noon as 1245 got relief. .. It was after contact time that as I was going to my form class to get something that she asked me.... I was tardy and dumbfound.... I didn't know how to answer at that time.... with my laptop in my hands, she recognise that I need to do my things. Later on, I whatsapp her saying thank you for asking. And later on i with the following chat:

[14:01, 22/4/2016] did I really look that "bad" today?  I guess it is the aftermath effect of working late and self discovery of some inconsistency and am sorting out with myself.... to prevent myself from shooting someone else
[14:07, 22/4/2016]jia you on your marking ok
[14:13, 22/4/2016]  u just seemed out of it is all.

I am touched that she asked....though my good friend say she is concern about me..... I think I am not ready to hear that.... escalating the emo state in my heart.

This is week 5 ....5 more weeks till end of  term 2.  I serious do not know how things are developing, but one thing I know..... I am already committed.... now it is my time to withdraw back.....It takes 2 to clap

Here are some question that  I have in mind: for her:
1. How are you with your date? despite this busy period
2.What are your plans for your holidays
3. Remember to have sufficient time to finish up the essay

Other in mind for her
1. Physical intimacy level system
2. Dog interesting facts
3. Dog owner hypothesis
4. Hand social experiment
5.  2 player emotion game (high risk)

Well the important question for myself is.... how long do I want to keep it this way? God can you help me stablise the situation or at least give my guidance and on how to handle this current matters..... For You are God and the God of love. God of faithfulness. The only question I have for God: What do you have installed for me this time round after I open up such a floodgate? Does age matters? Does faith matters? How how how.....what it is your are preparing me for?

I only stick the 3 objective which I only remember 2, and just jia you on your marking for the time being.