A simple start of a Monday a simple lunch but complicated minds

A simple chat, how's your weekend. A simple answer. Has it become routine? Well there are no enough data to support. Does it matters? Well when i see that she smiles upon looking at a message, it makes me ponder; her choice of lunch partner or whatever it could be. Does it matter so long she is happy? So long she get to relax and be herself.

Remember the grand objective.
1. She is well fed
2. She is well timed with work
3. She is wellness with life.

So even with this, may I asking too much of myself? May I expecting more? Or just that perhaps I should just focus on my work. Today is the one day my shoulders are relax. I no longer feel the tension on my shoulder finally. Today is also the day that I no longer feel the thrilled for seeing her. It will bounds down to liked working colleague. Or perhaps she does have someone else to have lunch with.

Am i just being too demanding? Perhaps I am. I thought but controlling my desire will lead to what it is today. I thank God for it.It also provides a stability thought stability means I will be thinking more. The control of thoughts, the analysis of emotions,

Anyway, I will record here as I am committed with the 3 main objective. Now it is no longer how I feel that determines, if I really want to support, really want to bless her, to see her able to find someone who she can be with for the rest of her life.

Lord, is this way you prepared for me. for a sin? or a scene? or it is just a journey that because I went through and it is not completed, thus i feel comply/moved? to fulfill something that I have missed out years ago.... an unfinished business.This is the busy period. This is His time, this is the time of trial. Or high stress level with time sensitive task to complete. Will I look forward to the end of the term 2. To the end of the semester? I am not sure... I definitely is less enthu as before. Will I ask or I just let it be bah? Let me go through these 2 weeks...13 May is the day with a couple of items
APYRC, NGEC, NCAC,? ICSQ, Scanning.... I slowly get all these done first before others.

1. Passion first
Then the rest. Work comes first. ok Work comes first. This year is a year of a new beginning.

The question is not to be asked now as it is not clear and non conclusive. There are factors for and against. So let God decide ok......this is a journey for me SEA]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Enjoy while it last. Give with love. Fulfill what is owed.... the debts to be payed......owed to self accumulated to self. What is the lesson and journey You have installed for me?To God be your glorious.

i thank God after that week, I no longer have the urge to physical touch her (PT is lowest in my love language).....this shows that things can be control by sheer will power.

I am glad that Yokie is there always for me....