Dating insights from the opposite sex

Dating insights from the opposite sex
By Andrea Barbalich

When it comes to dating advice, women usually turn to their girlfriends, while guys seek out their more-evolved buddies. But who is better at giving the inside scoop on the opposite sex than… the opposite sex? We tracked down five pairs of platonic friends and asked: What was the best piece of dating advice you got from each other? Enlightening answers lie ahead!

Jill and Kevin’s advice: Keep things real
“The best thing my friend Kevin ever told me is that it’s very important to do ‘everyday life’ things with my date early on. Instead of always having plans (like going to dinner or the theater), just have a day of doing errands or going to the grocery store. You’ll learn quickly whether he is a helpful guy or not.”
— Jill, 42, managing director of an asset-management firm, Litchfield, CT

“Jill is constantly reminding me that you have to look below the surface to find something great. In fact, she is pretty blunt. She says, ‘Stop looking at anything superficial, including her figure.’”
— Kevin, 42, investment banker, New York City

Bryan and Nancy’s advice: Let chemistry guide you
“Bryan’s best advice? That moving too quickly with guys can be a deal-killer. Try to be light and breezy on dates without backing him into a corner to find out how he feels about you, the relationship, or where things are headed.”
— Nancy, 43, loan officer, Stoneham, MA

“Nancy’s motto is, ‘If you don’t feel it, don’t fake it.’ When it’s right, it’s right, she always tells me, and if there’s no chemistry, you just need to accept it and move forward.”
— Bryan, 38, portfolio manager, Dorchester, MA

Audrey and Jim’s advice: Maintain some perspective
“Jim says to ask yourself: Does this person value the same things you value? Do you want similar things out of life? At the end of the day, that’s what counts.”
— Audrey, 31, writer, Washington, D.C.

“Audrey reminds me that you need to give your dates the benefit of the doubt. It’s very easy when something comes up to just assume the worst about the other person, but try turning that around and assuming the best instead.”
— Jim, 32, physical therapist, De Forest, WI

Patrick and Sheila’s advice: Take charge of your own love life
“Patrick always says you should change your scenery by going to different places. If you want to find somebody you’re compatible with, go to a place where you can be yourself, relax and have fun.”
— Sheila, 25, magazine editor, River Vale, NJ

“Sheila’s words of wisdom? You just need to be decisive. The little games people play, like waiting three days or five days before you call, forget it. If you’re going to pursue someone, put all that to the side and go for it!”
— Patrick, 25, real-estate manager, Crestwood, NY

Lowell and Allegra’s advice: Keeping things light helps love bloom
“My friend Lowell says you need to give things time. I will complain that a guy is being a jerk and he’ll say, ‘Yeah, he is, but give him space. Let things be for a bit, and they’ll probably work themselves out.’ That advice has served me well!”
— Allegra, 25, public relations director, New York City

“The best advice Allegra gave me is to find someone who makes me laugh — and make the other person laugh as much as possible, too.”
— Lowell, 26, student, Los Angeles

Andrea Barbalich is an editor and writer in Westchester County, New York. Some of the best advice she’s received on dating has come from her platonic guy friends.

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