Men are like:

Placemats - They only show up when there's food on the table
Mascara - They usually run at the first sign of emotion
Bike helmets - They're good in emergencies but usually just look silly.
Government bonds - They take so long to mature.
Copiers - You need them in reproduction, but that's about it.
Lava Lamps - Fun to look at but not all that bright.
Bank Accounts - Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
High Heels - They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
Curling irons - They're always hot and always in your hair.
Mini Skirts - If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.
Handguns - Keep on around long enough and you're gonna want to shoot it.