I seriously think I Should just Marry My Job. Then No need to Tend Smoky Girl

I S T I S J M M J T. N N T T O S G O S W E T.

I
Seriously
Think
I 
Should
Marry
My 
Job 
then
No
Need
To
T
O
Smoky
Girl
Or
S
W
E
T
After typing this, I have a memory lapse and can't remembered what i type is despair......I think it is beyond despair. How come am I feel this way...... I think I really cross it too much already..... well I just choose to notice and sense that she wanted to be alone. I think as I blog, I should continue to fast then.....no lunch initiation then.... I need to re-box up my emotion...... I  think like someone advice, I may get hurt...I should think before. 

I Pray to God that You will assist me in how I feel. In the ways of the Lord, of your love and your wisdom and faithfulness. A prayer really helps. I wonder how long can I last.....another 6 weeks more to long break...of being alone and no need to think about anyone....solitary life. 

To God I commit myself, help me Lord.... how could I be feeling that way? It should not be....it happen

Just a few blog....and perhaps I just talk to my bear or blog here all. I will not ask the critical question to myself as I don't wish to answer now....I am tired I so I should sleep soon

I wonde what sort of recollection of dreams will I have tonight. It is just the spurse of the moment ba...everything should be on.... Amen! A good inefficieny day with a prospect of having dinner with Somky Girl.....and she didn't get to eat with her....There is always another time.... Do you feel that you are asked for 2.....emotion rollercoaster ride again...... I am tired....sleep then... for me....life still as what it is...God hands. I commit in writing that if she can find someone better for her, in her own opinion, ler her ....for God cans take cao== I actually feel better after tired spell nd devouring the left over.