Emotional rollercoaster rides

Emotional rides....up and down.....they aren't really that funny...nor fun. How come does I have to go through such up and downs......breathing in and out exercise.....knowing that I am breathing like I am feeling too? I could pinpoint 2 causes of the emotional rides...or the thoughts that are associated with it.

First is to do with myself relating to my mother, career....

Second will be with a opposite gender.

Is this going to another process of recovery or just another routine.....another yucky routine? Only God has the answer for me to find out. I have not idea why now. What is the under-running determing factors. I just believe and have faith that God is in control and that this is not due to my negligence or whatsoever. Perhaps a swift solution will be appreciated though. Mind over heart may be very effective however this system has its weakness. All emotional expression will be learnt and be processed. Processed by the mind and it will be engaging and much are relying on how much and where do I learn the knowledge from. How can this be reliable? Via the Word of God is one source and also with the Holy Spirit's guidance.

White hair the evidence of a over-used brain? Perhaps though....yup I should have more white hair then...grey hair lines..... Well there isn't much I can do now but to focus my time and effort on things on hand. Without a career, ministry will be a double challenge. Double amount of faith. Perhaps I am begining to believe that my time is better spent elsewhere. Perhaps I should consider too that my emotion energy is better spent on someone else. On the God that is loving. This will not be a decree or decision. This will be subjected to further review. Sometimes I just feel like quiting...or giving up completely on this area of my life. Let me not take charge...neither be concern of it.. or affected by it....but not being affected by it, does it means no emphasis on it? Perhaps there can be emphasis however priority is always God-wards. God first policy. God centred life. Well that is the source of all resources. Well something will still need to be done. Dealing with emotions, dealing with what holds me back, defining God's best mate..in terms of needs and wants, God's needs, God's wants, My Need, My want. Let all the list of items be of rejoiceful to You.