Continues on with the prayer....at non night timing

Indeed ....fasting and prayer continues on. Pressing on the first issue. How is it that I am still unable to type it out. Perhaps it is too hurtful? Or is it that I have learnt so much in the past 2 years that helped me to move on from it? Was it really the last straw that breaks that camel back? Or was it purposefully happened in order to for me to humble and draw closer to God...draw more towards God...creating that void ..God-shaped void so that only God can occupy. Oh God, what do You have to input with regards to this issue. What are Your valuable inputs? Here I am hearing, taking care of store...looking at customer...and pondering over it. Let me not drift away....non being forsaken by You.....it is a not so nice experience in the dark valley where it is cold and the light is like miles aways, though visible. I am thankful that there is still light, and thy rod and staff, they still comfort me. Through the valley of death, indeed it is not a nice enjoyable experience. Yet it is still a fulfilling...God fulfilling faithful journey. Can I travel the road that is more comfortable, yet still being reliance on God's faithful provision? Man, despite learning much, including myself, is still vulnerable to fall. This is the vulnerability that cause me to still know that God is the source of my strength, and wisdom starts with the fear of the Lord. Awe -so- Me....with God indeed. "To guard my heart is to show no interest at all?" Just a though to ponder. What I can mention of the event at this moment that it is an magnified act of uncontrolled release of emotion via a not so good means. With this that has happened, I can use it to discount myself from all future relationship. As I did tried to dig in, it feels like digging into empty ground with a empty tank feeling. Like a car trying to run on empty tank, a car riding at a gear too low without hydraulics. It feels like a bottomless pit. It is indeed scary.