Top 8 Things that Will Ruin Your Relationship

Top 8 Things that Will Ruin Your Relationship
Written By: Dr. Patty Ann Tublin

1. Money: #1 issue couples fight about – money
- Money is valued differently – one is a “saver” the other a “spender”
- Money represents different things for each person in the relationship – know the differences and respect them. Your partner’s view is not “stupid” or “ridiculous”
- Communicate your individual attitudes and values about money to each other
- Keep money in its proper perspective in your relationship – money represents a commodity – not love

2. Lack of Effective Communication
- Just because we have said something doesn’t mean we have communicated anything
- The SINGLE biggest issue with communication – the false belief or impression that it has taken place
- Must have “active listening” for effective communication, i.e., the ability to listen to what your partner has to say without your own “hidden agenda”
- Choose words carefully and with sensitivity – the more emotionally charged the topic of discussion- the more important it is to do this

3. Commitment
- Lack of commitment to the value of yourself
- Lack of commitment to your partner
- Lack of real commitment to your relationship
- Are you committed enough to all of the above to do what it takes to make your relationship work?
- Do you provide the level of commitment to your partner that you are asking from them?

4. Failure to Prioritize Relationship
- Do you put the time and effort required that shows your relationship is the most important thing in your life?
- Schedule date night/ mornings/afternoon – anytime that is exclusively committed to your relationship – no interruptions/no excuses

5. Technology
- Keeps up connected 24/7 to everyone and everything- to the point of distraction when we are with our partner
- Designated a “no- technology” zone home in your home or leave your iphone in your car while out to dinner

6. Multi-tasking
- We are never giving our relationship the undivided attention it requires
- We are talking with our partner while on the computer or while texting or im- ing or taking care of the kids, etc
- No exclusivity

7. Children
- The inmates should not be running the insane asylum (LOL!!)
- The health of the family and the health of the children is predicated upon the health of the parent’s relationship
- Greatest gift you can give your children is for their parents’ to love and respect each other – unequivocally!

8. Extended Families
- Inappropriate boundaries
- In-laws “telling” grown children how to behave with each other/ how to parent/giving guilt trips because they do not see them “enough”.

Dr. Patty Ann is a world-renowned relationship expert and a licensed psychotherapist who has helped hundreds of people learn how to increase romance and happiness in their relationships. She has a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology, a Master’s Degree in Clinical Social Work, a Master’s Degree in Nursing, and is a Registered Nurse. Dr. Patty Ann writes a weekly relationship advice ezine called “Two Hearts Beating As One™” and a relationship advice blog at drpattyann.com/blog. Dr. Patty Ann has been happily married for 25 years while raising four children together with her husband.

Quoted: http://www.hybridmom.com/articles/family-parenting/marriage-divorce/top-8-things-will-ruin-your-relationship?page=2