For Gals: How to shortlist a HUSBAND ?

How to shortlist a HUSBAND
Preliminary round (General Criteria only) eg. introduction through friends/colleagues/SDU/SDS
1. Comparable education background or at least a stable job
2. Nice guy (in your friends’ opinion)
3. Non smoker, leisure drinking only
4. Same religion – unless you don’t mind converting
5. Sense of Humour

Detailed Criteria – during dating
Friends usually can’t screen the below for you, unless they know the guy very closely. So you can only discover these during the dating stage.
Tips to screen for HUSBAND material
Children
1. Does he want to have children after marriage ? You got to ask tactfully though- eg. When you see a kid crying in public & creating a scene, ask him what does he think of that kid, whether he find that child a nuisance ?
Ex-girlfriend
2. Should not have more than 2 preferably, otherwise you should wonder why can’t he sustain a serious relationship….commitment issue ? character flaws & hence got dumped ?
3. When did he last break off with his ex-girlfriend ?- If it’s too recent (such as a few months ago), watch out for emotional rebound !- You wouldn’t want to start a relationship with a guy who’s still thinking of his ex and likely to quickly jump into another relationship in order to forget his ex. Be extra careful with such guys.
Family
4. only child ?- Do you need to stay with in-laws after marriage ? not a problem if you don’t mind staying with in-laws
5. Relationship with parents & sibling ?-
How close is he to his mother ?
Does he admire his mother a lot ?
Although you do want someone who is filial but preferably not a mommy’s boy.
- Does his parents quarrel a lot ? Did his dad ever hit his mom or him brutally ?
you don’t want a guy who’s being abused since young in case he might become abusive himself too (according to reports by the Straits Times).
- Does he need to support his parents financially ? Find out the monthly contribution. Is it a huge commitment ?. If he’s earning a lot, then it’s alright since he can afford it. Otherwise do you need to help support his family after marriage ? It’s alright if u don’t mind.
- Does he have siblings ? Is he close to his siblings ? Does he need to help his siblings financially ? Does he have problematic siblings such as sisters or family members who always quarrel ?

- Once you got married, they become your relatives too. Hence they should preferably be easy to get along, otherwise they may become a source of conflict between you & your husband in the future.

Personal
6. Does he have any objectives / goals in life ?
- eg. 5 year career plan ? Where does he see his career in 5 years time?
- or personal objective such as taking MBA or upgrade himself or something lah.
- He should have some goals in life unless you don’t mind that he’s someone who just drifts along with life- But then again, his goals must be realistic. Danger if he’s just day-dreaming !

7. Spendthrift ?
- In debt ? Owe credit card bills ?
- Got expensive hobbies ?
- Is he in deficit every month (spent more than he earned) ?

8. Over Thrifty ?
- Find out his savings habits ? Is he too thrifty (stingy) ? You should ideally find a guy who’s willing to spend on you and thrift on him. Not the other way round.

9. Financial commitment
- Owns a car ? Other financial commitments such as paying installment for HDB ?
- contribution to family (as above under Family section)
- If he has a lot of financial commitments, it may affect your future married life as you are likely to worry about money constantly. It’s alright if you don’t mind contributing

10. Is he willing to share housework with you after marriage? Can he at least cook a little ?

11. No long courtship (Most important)
- Is he looking for a spouse too ? ie. Ready to settle down & get married ?
- Some guys in 30s may still think they are very young and wish to concentrate on their career. Please make sure he is on the same bandwidth as you ie. Looking to start a family in near future.- Unless you are <>